The Mental Debt Struggle...

AntoMac

That’s a decent result with the car Keedie and another worry off your mind.

Keep tweaking the budget until it works for you. It’s all coming together. Joining the PAD thread has motivated me too. Even if it’s just a pound a day it still reduces the overall debt literally every day.

Hope your support group went well. Must be good to be with people who understand the condition. 

Keedie

Yes it's a great relief that the car won't cost hundred and hundreds to fix @AntoMac and I'm just getting ready to go there now. Fingers crossed they don't find anything else wrong with it. 

I still feel very overwhelmed with the budget, but I think in time my confidence with my ability to handle it will grow. It's just hard to know what I'm doing at times, as I often have the best intentions and can be very organised, but then I get a bipolar episode or lack impulse control and end up spending money I don't have on things I don't need or can't remember doing. Using Monzo and Chase to split my budget into various pots and sub-accounts is really making a difference. So I'm hoping that getting on top of the numbers will make it easier to follow, even in times when I am unwell.

The group was great, and we all went to the pub afterwards, and it was nice to have my allowance and I spent it as wisely as I could. The food was too expensive for my budget as I had £30 for the week, so I just had chips and two pints of pepsi and stretched that over the night. I got home around 11.30pm, and it was so nice to make a night of it.


My son said he's really happy for me and wants to come to a group, but I don't want him to come just yet, as it's kind of 'my thing'. Also, a part of me doesn't want him to get anxious or overwhelmed, as some people's stories are hard to digest and you don't know what a session will be like as it all depends on the mix of people that attend at that time. He's allowed to attend from 16 with a guardian present (me), so I think maybe in a couple of months I'll let him come with me. Maybe he'll realise that life with me isn't so bad after all, as I am 100% his world view and experience of bipolar, and I have my good and bad bits. Maybe he'll see me as more of a human behind my role as his mum and it might help him to be a bit more understanding. Or he may hate it completely. But it's nice to know that he wants to know more about bipolar and it does impact on his daily life, so I guess it's a bit selfish of me to want to deny him the experience...?

badmemory

It is a difficult one to know how much to involve him & how much should remain your personal space.  Don't take him along because you feel you aught to.  It must be because you feel you are both ready.

Keedie

Do you know what @badmemory, you're right. It does need to be good for both of us. I think I'll keep it as my personal space for a little while longer. I don't mind him coming, and I'm touched that he wants to share that, but I'm not really ready to share and if he's still interested in a few months, then he can come along. It's still fairly new for me, and I want to enjoy it a bit more before he gets involved. Besides, I like going to the pub afterward and that's not an option if he's there and I want to enjoy my adult social time 😂.

Bad news on the car front, it's going to cost £526 including labour! The air condition unit's compressor is £266, the tensioner is £140 and the cam belt is £20 plus £100 labour 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️. Although we knew it was the air conditioning, we'd hoped that they could essentially cap it and put on a shorter belt to bypass it, but with the Honda Jazz they said it's all integrated so the compressor is essential and the tensioner is optional for a little while, but I'd rather not have to go back when something else has gone downhill and then pay for labour again.

But that's £176 over my £350 budget and it's stressing me out. I have until Monday to come up with the money, as he's ordering the parts and it'll be fitted on Monday. So I have to do another budget tweak, but I think realistically, that surplus will have to come from the emergency fund. I get that's what it's for, but I've actually been trying to save the emergency fund to mitigate against loss of income as my earnings are often sporadic and I'm at the point where I don't know if I can continue working at this pace long term. I've already given notice to my main freelance client as I need to reduce my everyday stresses and responsibilities.

But for now, I'm going to pretend that I don't have stress and I'm off to the cinema for National Cinema day with the £3 tickets, and we're going to hop on the bus and go and watch Bullet Train. And it came out of the family fun fund and it was £7.50 for the two of us including booking fee. We'll be going to Tescos to get some popcorn and some sweets as I am not paying for that in the cinema lol.

AntoMac

That’s a right pain with the additional car cos5 Keedie. You seem very philosophical about it and you’re right, that’s what the emergency funds is for, but it’s still a massive pain. Seems like there’s always an unexpected cost lurking somewhere. Talking of which, I must get a load of logs in for the fire. Hard to believe we’ll be needing the heating on in the not too distant future.
Anyway, enjoy the film. The cinema is usually good escapism, and at three pounds that’s a proper bargain! 

badmemory

This is the reason you have an emergency fund.  Just think how much worse it would be if you didn't.

shell16

Hi @Keedie

It's really hard using the EF isn't it but that's what it's yhere for,  for those emergencies?  At least the bulk of the cost was budgeted and its not the full amount you are trying to find.  I hate using the EF personally, in my mind it's taken a while to build up and it's like I need to protect that money at all costs 🤣

Hope you had a great day at the cinema?  I too found out about the reduced ticket price for National cinema day and bought my youngest a ticket to go with a friend.  They watched The Railway Children Return, which was filmed not very far from where we live!

You are doing great, use the EF and remember it's there for these little emergencies.  

Shell
xx

Keedie

The cinema was really good and we had a great time, the Bullet Train film was an action comedy, and neither of us had seen the trailer (we were just excited to get £3 tickets lol). But he said, "that's definitely in my Top 10 of action films", so he was happy. We did the whole cinema and snacks for £13.20, so that was a lovely bargain. I knew that the cinema had the discounted tickets but then I forgot and assumed he'd go with his friends, but then he asked if we could go together but it was a desperate scramble to find tickets yesterday evening as we were very last minute in the decision. I hope your little one enjoyed it @shell16 😁.

I'm definitely grateful for the emergency fund being in place @badmemory, but it has taken so long to build it up, I was rather sad at the thought of using it, but it was a necessary evil for now. Then I opened my post today as I wasn't in the mood yesterday, and I've got a refund from HMRC Self Assessment for £123.21, so that's nice! The HMRC refund will be going into my tax pot as I'll need that towards the 2022/23 tax once I've done this year's self assessment in May 2023 once I get my P60 from my employed job.  

Feels like there's some financial karma going around so that helps with the philosophical outlook @AntoMac. I always think, 'This Too Shall Pass', nothing is constant, there's always change and how we feel or the situation we are in does not last forever - battling with my mental health and finances have taught me that. The last few months have been some of the hardest I've ever experienced in terms of constant stress and life knocking me back down. But now I see it as a great reset for me and my son, things weren't great between us and in our individual lives, and we were both struggling with our mental health. I truly believe now that our lives imploded the way that it did, so that we'd get knocked onto a different course in life. I have lots of quotes and pictures that I find online and save, and since I've started doing daily quotes in the Payment a Day thread, I've been going through them and realised that this one sums up my life at the moment.


My mum has kindly let me spread the remainder of the money I owe (£300) for our trip to Butlins in December over the next 6 months instead of paying £150 this month and £150 next month. That will allow me to sort out the exam fees and build that money back up to pay for them (£1,027 in total). As I used the exam fees money to top up The Noose (debt repayments pot), so that all of this month's payments were covered in advance. I've also reduced the MBNA fixed payment from £100 to £50 so that I can put the extra £50 towards the exam fees. I've realised that I kept dipping into the money as there was always something to pay for, so after I go to the exams information evening at the school on the 15/09/2022, I'll pay for some exams this month and the rest next month or by November 2022.

I'm starting to feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel, a small pinprick at the moment, but it's getting better. We're off to bowling and to a restaurant today for my eldest sister's birthday, and it'll be a nice family event with 13 of us in total today. All paid for from the family fun fund and family meals out, with a little top up from our food shopping budget towards the meal.

Keedie

The Sunday Summary (The Great Reset)

I've not done these reviews throughout August as I just needed to get my head down and focus on where I was with my debts, life just throwing curveballs and having to deal with the emotional impact of my debt progress being wiped out as it went up. I'm now in a position where I can think about what I'm doing and where I'm going.

My focus for the last week or so has been all about the budget, and trying to get a handle on how to deal with my finances and life. And I realised that it's all about reducing my recurring debt repayments so that I can have more disposable income and have a better debt/life balance. This will give me a plan for a few sinking funds, paying off certain large one off liabilities (like the exam fees) and then I'll have more surplus to tackle the debt once my life is in a bit more order. I've chosen to see the last few months as a prelude to The Great Reset. I will use whatever surplus money I have until December 2022 to tackle 3 ad hoc areas; exam fees, increase in energy bills and establishing sinking funds so that I do not rely on credit. Anything else above this goes to extra debt repayments. So here's where things are at now.

Debts = £19,435.49 (£2,747.05/£22,182.54 = 12.38% repaid)

I had 8 creditors in August 2022 and this has reduced to 6 as I have finally paid off the car and paid off TUI for that trip to Turkey next summer. By moving the money around, I've reduced my monthly outgoings and I can breathe more.

*Bank of Mum 2 (family holiday) = £300 (0% paid so far) - this will be paid at £50 a month from October 2022 until March 2023

*Bank of Mum 3 (school fees) = £4,800 (0% paid so far) - this will be paid at £50 a month from September 2022 until December 2022, then £150 a month from January 2023 onward. My mum is not pressuring me for this, but I want to get into a routine for payment and to see it going back into her savings as quick as I am able as I still feel guilty for borrowing this money.

*Barclaycard = £9,495 (£92.80/£9,587.80 = 0.97% repaid) - this will be paid at the minimum payment until December 2022, which for this month is £284.85. From January 2023, all debt repayments will be a fixed amount above the minimum payment and I will see where I am with my other debts before I set this. This is split into two 0% interest plans with £5,437.80 due on 01/02/2024 and £4,057.20 due on 01//04/2024.

*Creation = £917.33 (£145.34/£1,062.67 = 13.68% repaid) - this will remain at the minimum payment of £72.67 until October 2023, with the final payment of £45.29 in November 2023. I am not worried about this debt as it is interest free and although it's on my credit file, it's going down every month.

*MBNA = £2,950 (£50/£3,000 = 1.67% repaid) - this is set to £50 a month which is above the minimum payment from September to December 2022, then it will increase in January 2023, and if I have my preliminary sums right, this can increase to £150-200 a month on a fixed direct debit. This is interest free until 15/08/2023, so I need to work out how to clear as much of that as possible to reduce the amount of interest payable.

*Sky Mobile = £973.16 (£32.87/£1,006.03 = 3.27% repaid) - this forms part of my monthly bill so I don't worry about this as it is being repaid and once I have cleared the other debts, I can clear the balance on this one if I have not naturally been cleared by that time. 

The Plan
I will snowball 2 debts that have high balances and have 0% deals, as I will prioritise MBNA as that plan ends earlier in August 2023. I will then focus on Barclaycard as that has the highest balance and the 0% interest deals end in February and April 2024. I'm hoping that by clearing up as much as I can with MBNA, I'll get offered another balance transfer deal next summer and I'll be able to move some of the debt from Barclaycard and pay minimal interest on whatever is outstanding for MBNA at the time.

AntoMac

Keep going Keedie. You seem to have a proper plan in place, although looks like quite a lot to find (average £250/month) to get MBNA down by August of next year. I totally get wanting to pay your Mum back as soon as you can, but maybe you could be a little less ambitious in your repayments to her whilst you get MBNA balance down? Not wishing to interfere of course, just a suggestion, and might make it more likely you get another new offer sooner? 

My own MBNA balance is down to around £350, so I have plenty available credit there. Their offer seems to be stuck on 1 year 0 per cent with a 5pc fee, which I think is what you got.
Good that you have that balance know where you have budgeted to have some budgeted for meals out. I don’t find any leisure activity enjoyable these days if it’s not budgeted for.