The Mental Debt Struggle...

Keedie

Thanks for the encouragement @Adeley, it really does mean a lot to me. You're definitely right in that I've got a lot going on and it's really difficult to manage, but wellbeing is essential. That's why I moved things around with my finances and focussed on being mentally well and having a better balance, as the debt will take care of itself. As long as I keep making payments that I can actually afford, and chip away it all, make overpayments, it'll work out. 

A great example is that I got an email from TUI today to say that when I cleared the balance of the holiday, I had somehow overpaid by one direct debit so I have a refund of £284.50 due to me. So if that turns out to be the case, then I'll pay that straight onto Barclaycard. 

Since I've reorganised my finances, I've redone my budget and I have a much healthier approach now. As I've included family fun money as advised by @shell16 and it'll be nice to do stuff together and with our wider family. We're going bowling next Sunday for my sister's birthday, and knowing that I've budgeted for it feels much better. My son gets weekly pocket money which I put back into the budget, and I now get an allowance too, which I've never really done for myself so I'm really happy that I've prioritised myself like that. I read a lot, like 3-5 books a week, and so I have my Kindle Unlimited subscription that I get very good use of, and I'll use my allowance to buy other books, meet friends for dinner/lunch and for travel to see my friends out of London etc. 

I've done a spreadsheet and worked out the total amount needed each month to cover my bills, debt repayments and all of my sinking funds and pots. For weekly payments like our allowances, Ive counted how many weeks are in each month, and set the budget for each month, so that I know what is needed and where. It's really helped as I have variable income because I reduced the debt repayments and changed the budgeting period to cover a calendar month instead of when I am paid from my main job, I'm now slowly getting on top of things. From my employed job, August's pay has been used to top up the bills pot so that all of September's bills are already covered. So I am now a month ahead for my bills, I just need to do the same for the debt payments pot. Hopefully I can do this by November, as I need to pay for my son's exam fees in September and it's both of our birthdays in October (we're a day apart).

I've realised that winter has crept up on me, and we're entering Autumn and I have £287.88 credit in my Octopus Energy account, but I need to build this up as I'm really reliant on having the heating on all the time because of the pain in my joints. I've been burying my head in the sand about the rates increasing from October, and I feel like I should've kept my direct debit at £162.86 even though it was so much higher than my actual usage. I need to really figure that out, as the £66 from the government will help, but I'll probably be in arrears before I even hit deep winter. To be honest, I'm anxious...

Keedie

Hello people, I hope you're enjoying the start to a long bank holiday weekend.

I spent a couple of days at my sister's in East London, and my son finished his work experience yesterday and he was so so excited and proud to work and he did so much work in such a short space of time everyone said that they wished he could work there full time! That was a much needed boost to his confidence and he realised that he can work in an office and he is smart enough to be able to multitask. I think the mistakes he made that led to him being excluded and his attitude to learning and his abilities really set him back, but I'm seeing more and more of my old son making a reappearance. Although the last few months have been incredibly sh*t and I wouldn't wish them on anyone, there's light at the end of the tunnel.

We were meant to be having a celebratory dinner today, but the logistics didn't work out as my sister couldn't afford to eat out (she has 4 kids and just dropped £130 on school shoes today) and I couldn't afford to contribute to their meals or cover my nephew's meal as he came up for the day today. My son wanted us to leave East London early and drop off my nephew and then go out to eat. But I was just so tired and didn't want to sit in gridlock traffic on the dual carriageway hungry, so we didn't do that option and he's been in a sour mood ever since. I realised that he was hurt and disappointed as he thought that I was no longer valuing what he achieved this week and I was breaking my promises 🤦🏾‍♀️. So we've booked in some mother and son time tomorrow evening and we're having a Nando's take away whilst we stream the KSI double bill boxing match (I don't even like boxing, but the things we do as parents...)

In financial news, I'm a bit baffled by Barclaycard. When I did the MBNA balance transfer and made some additional payments, it showed me that I had no payment due as I'd paid more than the minimum payment. Then today I got an email saying that my direct debit was set up, and now it's showing that I've got the original minimum payment of £244.58 due on 30/08/2022. I I've moved the money from the exam fees fund just in case it does come out, but I'll have to contact Barclaycard customer services tomorrow to see what's going as I didn't budget for this, as they told me I had no balance to pay, when I logged into the app and online. But to be honest, I don't understand what's changed???

AntoMac

That’s wonderful that your son’s work experience went so well Keedie. Will do wonders for his confidence and wellbeing. Being a teenager can be a tough gig, as can being a parent of a teenager of course. Respect to your sister bringing up 4 kids.
A shame the celebration meal couldn’t happen and he was upset. I’m sure he understands really. The KSI streaming will be a nice thing for you to do together, even if boxing isn’t your thing. My daughter talks about KSI. I still don’t quite get why he’s famous! A YouTuber who does boxing is what I believe he is 
I always tell my teen I love her, even when we’ve had our..ahem..’differences of opinion’. I’m sure your son knows you adore him and understands why you took a more sensible option for a celebration.
Hope you get the confusion with Barclaycard sorted and have some well deserved relaxation to look forward to over the weekend.

Keedie

Parenting a teen is a really tricky navigation isn't it @AntoMac? I think sometimes you don't know if you're dealing with the young adult or the child, and I think he believes since he's hit his teens that I've become a mind reader 😂. 

The celebration meal was initially just the two of us on Wednesday, but he was too tired so we pushed it back to Friday. But I didn't realise my nephew would come up or think about the logistics of us going out with my sister, her husband and the kids. He gets it now, but he was too busy being hurt and angry that he wasn't expressing himself properly. But when we both calmed down, I finally understood his point and he could see mine. We both told the other that we love them, and he went to bed mollified if nothing else. I don't understand the preoccupation with KSI, he is literally a YouTuber who's turned to boxing. Why he needs to have two matches on the same night I don't know - aside from gaining more hype I guess 🤷🏾‍♀️. 

I'm going to give Barlcaycard a ring today, as they still owe me compensation for the debacle of their technical glitch with their app, as I've lost years worth of credit card statements. They've been giving me the run around about paying the compensation that they agreed, so I'll now have to faff about putting it in writing, as I've been communicating via the app with them and they're just useless. They all tell me different things and they've just annoyed me, and things are still only partially resolved, as I've been sent paper copies of the missing statements, but nothing else has been done.

Keedie

I'm starting to kick myself for reducing my direct debit for Octopus Energy when I did. It was crippling me at £162.86 a month when my usage was averaging £45, but in hindsight, building up more credit would have made all the difference going into the winter months. Especially because this 80% increase in energy rates is starting to gnaw at me, as I kinda pretended it wasn't happening as I had bigger fish to fry, but the reality is that it's going to hit us all really hard.

I've decided to try and use my PAD pot and any surplus from the Bills Parachute pot (trying to build up funds to get one month ahead on my wages) to put as credit on my Octopus account. I've paid £12.12 today, and that takes my credit to £300. Once I've done my monthly meter readings on 01/09/2022, I'll see what the bill is and try and pay at least half of it as an extra payment so that I don't eat into my credit too much.

If after August and September's bills I can maintain £300 credit, that will be £50 a month from October 2022 to March 2023, plus the £67 a month from the government throughout winter. Hopefully, that equivalent of £107 plus my £100 a month direct debit will mean that I don't end up with too much arrears by the end of winter. 

But I think that realistically, even with the credit buffer and the government top up, my direct debit probably needs to increase to £150 a month. But I'll see how October and November goes in terms of bills before I make any changes. I do need to probably put up my curtains though, as I guess they'll keep my room warmer in the winter. Although I do enjoy waking up to natural sunlight as it helps with my mood and mindset, I might need to rethink that. 

badmemory

Do check what the terms of the £66/67 are with your supplier.  British Gas are going to take the full value of the DD & then refund the £66 to the account the DD came from AFTER the DD has been received.

Keedie

That's a good point thank you @badmemory.

I just checked on the Octopus website and it said, "We're continuing to discuss how this payment will work with government, and as soon as we know the exact details we'll let all of our customers know."

And then later on the same information page it says, "The £400 will be spread into several monthly payments across Winter. It'll be paid by your energy supplier into your energy account balance."

So I don't know if I am just being a bit thick, but I don't think that's really an answer? I'm assuming that it will be credited to the account but have no impact on the direct debit. Octopus are still working out their prices apparently, and it'll be updated in about 10 days. So I guess they'll work out how they'll manage the direct debit as well. 

I don't understand British Gas's version, so I think I might actually be making my brain processing on this more complicated than it needs to be 🤦🏾‍♀️. Are they giving the money back into the customer's bank account or energy account?

badmemory

According to the email they sent me - it is going into my bank account after the DD has cleared.  A bit like the one from the local authority which was sent to the bank account the DD for the rates came from.

badmemory

If your Direct Debit is £100 a month, you’d pay that as normal. Then a few days later, £67 will be paid in to your bank account. If your Direct Debit is less than £67 a month, say £50 for example, £50 will be refunded to your bank account and the remaining £17 will be applied as credit to your energy account.

This is copied & pasted from the email from BG on the 18th.

Keedie

Oh I see. Thanks for clarifying @badmemory. Looks like British Gas are actually passing on the rebate, which is useful. A

Now that I understand it, maybe I’ll put the money into a pot to use a buffer just in case Octopus does something similar. I can then judge what rate I’m paying and how much credit/arrears I accrue and then tackle it.