The Mental Debt Struggle...

dawnybabes

I had 

Acanthamoeba keratitis (In fact 2nd case in England !) over 30 years ago.  They scraped my eye with a scalpel - I was dreading it but tbh the thought was much worse than the actual ! If needed most hospitals/ clinics will give you a mild sedative if it’s going to be a problem. 

FacelessNumber

Another fellow eye problem here! I've got a blocked duct in my lower eyelid that is inflamed and sore and have just been referred to Opthalmology too. Continuing with the got compress here as well in the hope that it drains but luckily not feeling squeamish about scalpels or needles here if it comes to that! 

The kitchen ideas sounds great, I love my kitchen and it makes such a difference to being motivated to cook, and being able to safely store batch cooking will make a huge difference too.

beanielou

I have had eye surgery & procedures. All better than you think c

Keedie

You're all making me less squeamish about my eye so thank you very much. I'm glad you both got treatment and are okay @Sun_Addict and @beanielou. It's less daunting to know that issues with eyes are more common. I was a bit scared of having a scalpel near my eye as I didn't think it was a common thing for them to do, but the more I've looked into it, the more it seems to unfortunately impact quite a lot of people.

I looked up acanthamoeba keratitis @dawnybabes and it sounds incredibly painful and rare, but I'm glad the treatment wasn't as bad as you feared. 

I hope you don't have to wait too long for your appointment @FacelessNumber for your blocked duct to be sorted. I'm getting rather bored of the hot compress, and I couldn't work out why it wasn't that hot anymore when my son was heating it in the microwave for me. Only to realise that the already weak microwave power was turned from 'high' to 'medium' 🤦🏾‍♀️. I couldn't work out why my pasta wasn't heating up properly and I looked at the microwave properly and laughed to myself. 

The automatic savings to my emergency fund went through, for £20 and the £10 towards my son's 18th birthday. So it's good that they're still ticking along. I'll definitely automate more things, as it's much easier to be consistent.

Keedie

It's been quite a busy week and I'm rather tired now. But it's been productive. I was so exhausted going into the office on Tuesday as I sat in a ridiculous amount of traffic because Google Maps sent me in a direction that gridlocked traffic because that area was closest to my nephew's school after I dropped him to breakfast club. But by the time I worked out what it was doing, I could have just gone a different way to the same destination, so that was fun. But my my son made me some chips for dinner when I got home and so that was rather touching. He told me it's his job to take care of me (I explained that it was the other way round), but he seemed happy enough to fuss over me so I just left him to it.

The most productive thing that happened is that I am a step closer to the fridge chapter coming to a close. A very smart friend reminded me that I have Perks at Work and they have cashback like discounts for gift cards, and Currys has 7% discount. So you pay 7% less than what you order for the reloadable gift card. So I looked at the total amount needed, and calculated my total purchase including delivery, recycling the old fridge and installation and it came up to £454.

So I waited until I got paid yesterday morning, as we had a backdated pay rise from 1 January 2024, and my net difference in salary was £157. I also had £50 set aside for my first Argos card payment for the fridge, so that took me up to £207. And after paying the balance of my tax bill, I had £163 left in the tax pot, but with no freelance income so far, I figured I can put that back incrementally as a buffer. So I had £370 to spend and I was feeling rather pleased with myself that I would only be £84 short. But then I realised, that by paying for the £454 gift and £8.16 insurance, the whole thing came to £430.38 with the 7% discount. But as I had years worth of WOW points from all of the cinema tickets, and vouchers I've brought since I started at my job in 2018, I had £58.86 that I could use. And when I took that off the total amount payable, it dropped to £371.52! So I was £1.52 over the amount that I had available 🎉.

The gift card will arrive next week and then I can buy the fridge to arrive the first week in June. Since we've been eating everything in the freezer, it's holding its temperature better than before, so the additional 2 weeks won't kill us. Also, I'm very happy that I don't have another debt hanging over my head. I can just continue to clear the Argos Card for the PS5 and Barclaycard. And my emergency fund has remained in tact, as I was very tempted to use it, but it made me sad to think about it. So I'm kinda proud of taking the advice I was given and finding a way around it all.

I also went to a Meet the Landlord event that my council did on Thursday, whereby there were people from all different teams within the housing departments to talk to on a drop-in basis. I spoke with adult social care and the supported housing teams, and explained that I am really struggling with the bath, and being able to remain hygienic as I can't scoot over properly as I can't put weight on my shoulders or twist from the waist. And that I've been asking since 2022 to be assessed for a wet room and been constantly ignored and was finally put on the waiting list in November 2023, and told to wait a minimum of 12 months just to be given an appointment. The staff were really nice and felt a bit ashamed that I'd fallen through the cracks, as there hadn't been any communication between social services and housing, so the housing department didn't know I was vulnerable and hadn't done a 'vulnerability screening'.

Anyways, they're going to talk to one another and come back to me by the first week in June to get the ball rolling to request for more support. They also told me that I can go through the process to be formally assessed as requiring a ground floor (or at least somewhere with a lift), and that I need to move as living on the third floor with no lift isn't acceptable. I did point out that I'd asked to move and was told I was a 'low medical priority and there's no housing stock and I'd be better off trying to swap with someone else' in order for me to move. I told them that I love the area I live in, the fact that my GP, pharmacy and supermarkets are within walking distance and I like my neighbours (we even have a whatsapp group chat for our block), and they said that I can most likely be moved within the same area but to a more suitable property. I think they were feeling guilty, as I've receiving support from different services but no one has talked to each other, and when I've spoken to each service, they've given me the brush off. 

So now, I'm not sure what will happen with my kitchen and balcony revamp. I don't want to spend money on this flat if I am actually going to be in a position to move. But when that'll happen is like, the proverbial string - who knows how long it will be? So within the next few weeks I should have a clearer idea of what is going on, and see how long it will actually take.

It's been a decade since I had my operation and got that infection and became disabled, and that whole time I've lived in my flat. My son doesn't want to move and in all honesty, neither do I. I love our flat, and if I could magically move it to a ground floor or there was a lift, I'd retire here. But the truth is, I've become very resourceful and have many workarounds that require a lot of energy to just keep going and living in a situation that as I get older and my health deteriorates, is harder and harder to manage. If I had a wet room, I could probably push myself to do a few more years, when my son is a bit older and can manage the emotional and mental side of a move, but I would leave the flat less and less.

But my sister pointed out that at 42, I'm not supposed to be housebound when some of the inability to leave the house is preventable if I had better access to get in and out of my flat. I kinda didn't have an answer for that. She also said that the council know that as my landlord and a local authority they've failed me, and that I could make a case against them and make life very difficult for them, and so they're going to move swiftly (well as fast as a council can move), as at the moment, they're liable for providing inadequate housing and dismissing my requests for help. But I've also just given up and not made a fuss, as I don't like conflict. But sometimes I cry when I have to do the stairs to get home, or I feel very weak and lay in bed for days. My sister thinks that I'd actually have more of a life and spend less time recovering if I didn't have to do a full work out just to get to the shop or go to my car... 🤔.

Moving is incredibly expensive though. And stressful and exhausting. So I won't lie, that part is causing me anxiety.

AntoMac

Nice use of the accumulated WOW points as well Keedie. I must see what I have kicking about in my account as I’ve not used it for a while.
With your move, it might be worth speaking to your locally elected councillor as well. My mum was a councillor for years and had a very keen interest in housing. I remember she took up many cases on behalf of local people. After all it is very much part of what they are elected to do. Mum loved doing it, and we still occasionally bump into people she previously helped when we’re out and about.
There’s no harm in exploring that route as an additional way in getting things moving. Sounds like you’ve had a bit of a rough deal due to a lack of coordination. 

How lovely of your son to cook for you and look after you when you were exhausted by the way

Cherryfudge

That's a huge saving on the fridge, and using banked credit, if you want to think of the WOW points etc in that way. Really nice to hear it should be with you soon.

The possibility of moving must be a huge thing to cope with, but your sister has made some strong arguments. Perhaps ask yourself what your needs might be in ten years? I do understand that you have your roots where you are, but the interior of your home is largely something you could take with you if you decided to move.

PennysIntoPounds

That's fantastic about the fridge, well done!

Nerve wracking but also brilliant you've got the ball rolling on housing options. Try not to worry too much; they are literally *options* and if on weighing things up you'd prefer to stay put and enquire again in another five or so years that's also an option, no-one will make you move if you don't feel it's best for you right now (or whenever anything actually occurs, which in housing association time could be five years anyway!)

Keedie

Thanks for the councillor advice @AntoMac, as I'd not thought about that. But I've met the councillor that deals with housing when we had that communal leak and she's lovely and very proactive, so I'll contact her. I do find life very difficult at times, but I don't really and truly want to move. But as @PennysIntoPounds says, the speed at which these changes are made, I don't think it's something that will change just immediately even if I do explore relocating.

To make my life easier, I just want a wet room so that I can enjoy independently living in my home for as long as possible. Trying to do contortionist acrobatics to use a bath lift is senseless. But I'll have a long think about what I want from life in 10 years time @Cherryfudge, as that's some good advice, thank you. My son would be nearing 28, so may not be living at home, and I do rely on him a fair bit for carrying things up and down the stairs. So the move definitely needs to happen, as I can't be in my 50s and 60s doing 50+ stairs to get in and out of the building. The lady below me, passed away in her 80s, and was in her 70s when I moved in, and she barely left the flat the whole time we were neighbours. So I'd need to skedaddle before I am fully housebound. But I can't say she wasn't happy that she was able to remain in her home until the end, because she was, and she was content from what I could tell whenever I spoke to her.

But the upside of knowing that a move is inevitable, is that it's made me look at my flat with fresh eyes and renewed determination to get it clutter free and enjoy it whilst we're still able to. I do not fancy my chances trying to pack all of this stuff and move. So I've stumbled down a rabbit hole on YouTube about Swedish Death Cleaning, whereby you essentially purge everything that no longer has use or holds value to you, so that when you pass away, the burden of trawling through lots of stuff does not fall on your loved ones. In my case, it's more about getting organised and being able to enjoy my space fully, and having the added bonus that my affairs are in order should something unexpected happen.

I managed to clear my desk (well relocate papers to the floor), and I've been going through piles of papers in 10 minute intervals whilst sitting on my little camping chair. I've got lots of piles of papers on the floor, but it's slowly coming together. I should be done by tomorrow evening. As I'm not filing it for now or shredding. And I still need to go through the filing cabinet and look at the categories I have in there, so that I can arrange them to fit who I am now. Then I'll be able to move onto the papers in the living room, and know that I've got somewhere to file the papers and a sense of order.

Keedie

THE SUNDAY SUMMARY

(Week 21 ~ 26 May 2024)

Debt Regrets

Goal 1 - 100% repayment to Bank of Mum 3 (school fees) - due 1 April 2024
Progress Checker = £3,800/£3,800 (100% repaid)
🎉 Achievement Date = 24 March 2024 🎉

Goal 2 - Clear Barclaycard Plan 1 (£6,508.43) - due by 31 December 2024
Progress checker = £728.43/£6,508.43 (11.19% repaid)
There's been no payment this week, but the £250 fixed direct debit is coming out on 28 May 2024.

Goal 3 - Pay £6,750 off my overall debt balance in 2024 - due by 31 December 2024

Progress Checker = £2,280/£6,750 (33.78% repaid)
As no debt payments have been made in the last week, this goal hasn't progressed either.

Saving Grace

Goal 1 - Save £500 for my son's 18th birthday - due by 30 September 2024
Progress Checker = £118.66/£500 (23.73% saved)
The usual £10 automatically went into the savings pot, and I'm excited to be inching towards 25% overall saved. The reduced target of £500 feels much more manageable and practical given that he's not wanting a party. He'll still have a good night out as I'll give him money to go out and enjoy himself. I'll be back to a cash budget from June 2024, so if I have any leftover money each week, it'll go towards the birthday pot. And at consistent £10 a week being saved, I should reach the target before 30 September 2024, but the early target date is depending on the regular savings, any left over money and the Chase round up pot and any interest that it accrues. Speaking of which, the Chase round up pot is almost at my higher target of £200 😳! This week with the Currys gift card, and just using card because I've been too lazy to go to the bank to get the specific denominations of cash I need, the round ups having been getting a good boost. I won't increase the target again, but I'll just see what final total is when it matures and see what I've saved overall towards the £500 target and what the revised goal end date will be. If I can get it to mid-September 2024 I'll be happy. The balance in the round up pot is now £199.64/£200 (up £8.12 this week), and the pot is at 99.82% which matures in 34 days - the countdown continues...

Goal 2 - Build a Buffer of £500 (homemade overdraft) - due by 31 December 2024
Progress Checker = £0/£500 (0% saved)
Still at zero, but restarting in June 2024 on £5 a week. When my son's birthday target is complete, I'll snowball the £10 a week and any left over money into this target. 

Goal 3 - Save £1,000 emergency fund - due by 31 December 2024
Progress Checker = £361.84/£1,000 (36.18% saved)
I saved £20 this week and I'm finally passed the 35% saved mark 🎉. This is on target, and I'm looking forward to finally reaching my first £1,000.

Goal 4 - Complete 50 Envelope Challenge (£1,275) - due by 31 December 2024
Progress Checker = 6/50 Envelopes ~ £205/£1,275 (16.08% saved)
I've still got this challenge on hold, but will restart in the first week of June at £5 a week to continue accumulating the £50 for each set of envelopes. I've got £30/£50 so far for envelopes 3 and 47, so they'll be filled by the end of June. Once I get my finances back on track after summer, I'll be able to put a lot more into this challenge as I would really like to have that sense of achievement by completing it by 31 December 2024.