The Mental Debt Struggle...

Sun_Addict

Go Keedie -  well done for telling it like it is at the appraisal, very proud of you 😁

Makingabobor2

You seem to be on top of everything now Keedie. Well done

Keedie

That's great advice @PennysIntoPounds, thank you, and I shall definitely look into that. I didn't think Currys would be so accommodating, but that's very good to know.

Thanks for your support @Sun_Addict, I do feel proud that I was honest in my appraisal. I don't see how they're going to potentially change anything if they don't know what the issues are. But my sister thinks I was being a bit negative. But I don't particularly care. If being true to myself and raising concerns about inequalities and inconsistencies in our approach to our work, then I don't mind being seen as negative. I think my manager finds me confusing as I basically told her that I've no desire or ambition to progress and take on more responsibility and stress, but I'm very bored. I think I confuse myself at times 😂.

Things are definitely coming together @Makingabobor2. I feel very out of sorts as I'm trying to fend off a hypomanic episode, and that within itself is quite unsettling, but I'm in more control finance wise (if you discount my ongoing take away habit 😬). 

Cherryfudge

There's a value to honest, knowledgeable negative feedback. If the management don't hear it from you, they may never hear it, and it's given them the opportunity to improve things.

Look after yourself extra well while the hypomanic episode is hovering. How are things with your sister?

PennysIntoPounds

If you feel you're spending too much on take-aways and your fridge/freezer and microwave are still at least functioning, would it be worth getting a few ready meals in? Cheaper than take-aways at least!

Keedie

Forgot to say that Octopus emailed me to say that they're reducing my direct debit from £100 a month to £83.53 a month. I've got £261.79 in credit and my usage has dropped as we're no longer in winter. I've not paid that per month since before the prices went haywire a few years ago.

So I guess it's a good thing. I'm not going to complain about reduced ongoing bills, but that wasn't my intentions with my energy bills. Last month my electricity was £38.88 and my gas was £43.5, so £82.39 altogether. So I can see why it's gone down as I've got nearly £300 credit.

But I build credit deliberately to reduce the financial pressure in the winter, so that I can use my heated blanket, and have the heating on without worrying about my bills as I remain with a fixed payment in my budget. So I'll have to see what the next few bills are like, as my electric smart meter is being fitted on Wednesday next week, as the engineer couldn't get access to the communal electric cupboard, and so he couldn't fit it back in March.

I'm going to sleep on it, and I might just keep it at £100 or round it something like £85 and set aside the £15 just in case I don't start the winter months with as much credit as I want to have... 🤔.

And yep, honest feedback is always a good thing @Cherryfudge, but they don't seem to really act on anything. But I've said my point and I'll continue to do my work, but unlike previous patterns of behaviour, I've not tried to fix anything for them. My sister is doing okay, but she had a setback on the weekend as her neck clicked as she slipped and the impact has set back her recovery, but she's got a review at the hospital tomorrow and my mum is going with her. Thank you for asking. 

In terms of the hypomania, I've had disturbed sleep and feeling rather overwhelmed, so I was kind to myself today with work and took my time with everything. And I spent my lunchtime lying down in my bed as I felt weak and a bit confused, and I was in a lot of pain in my shoulder. I tried to book an appointment online with the GP, but by 11:40 all of the slots had gone and they wouldn't accept my econsult. I'll have to remember to do it earlier tomorrow morning. 

The take aways is just poor planning and motivation on my part @PennysIntoPounds. We're buying meals for no more than a day at a time, as my cheese went mouldy days after being opened and well within its best before date, so I'm getting foods that I can use up in one go or by the next day. The problem is that I'm lazy, and when I'm feeling like my brain is misfiring and I'm starting to see shadows in my peripheral vision or hear things that others can't hear, the last thing on my mind is nutrition or food. Sometimes, I actually forget to eat and my son has to ask me what's for dinner or what we're doing etc. Lord only knows what I'll be like when he's old enough to move out and I'm scrambling at dinner time 😬. 

I think when I'm going to do the school run to take my nephew to school, I need to stop at a supermarket and buy something for that day, so that I don't have to worry about it staying cold enough for a period of time. I'd actually not even thought of ready meals in that sense, as I tend to think of dinner at the end of the day after working and being tired, and neither of us really in the mood to go down three flights of stairs to go and get food. So getting what we need for that day and the next day makes sense.

KajiKita

It sounds to me like you really need that new fridge. Food going mouldy so quickly is not right and is waste of money, your time and physical effort to buy it. Especially with warmer weather coming (she says optimistically! 😉😂). Do you have a timeframe in which you think you can order one? 

I would minimise the shopping until then, or even ask to borrow a small space in a neighbour’s or your sister’s fridge in the short term for some bits (a friend of mine did this when her fridge died and she had nowhere cold to store her medication). I’m trying to think of locations you could store food cold that are already on your daily routes … 🤔

KK

LittleMissDetermined

Well done on being honest @Keedie with your appraisal, I would say that if your manager has a problem with anything you said it says a great deal about her than it does about you or anything you said.

I echo @KajiKita that your new fridge needs to be a priority so you don't get poorly and to stop any wasted money, time and effort on your part. We are fortunate that we have 2 spare fridges, one inside and one outside which are used mainly for drinks but if something happened to our main fridge we can use those for a while.  Not everyone is as lucky.  It's worth asking if anyone has a spare under counter one you can borrow though - you never know! 

Is it worth considering leaving your energy payments at £100 but take £200 of the credit towards the white goods you need? Would that give you enough of a buffer to give you some comfort when it gets to winter? Could be worth doing some sums to see.

Keep at it Keedie, you'll get it sorted I'm sure.
LMD x

Baileys_Babe

I like LMD's suggestion with using some of the energy credit towards the white goods and keeping the Octopus payment at £100 pm a month.

KajiKita

Baileys_Babe said:

I like LMD's suggestion with using some of the energy credit towards the white goods and keeping the Octopus payment at £100 pm a month.

Agreed. This is nimble thinking. 😊

KK