The Mental Debt Struggle...

AntoMac

Your son being so much happier must be a real boost to you Keedie. One of those things you just can’t put a price on.  It shows that your unwavering love and support pays off eventually. 

Keedie

Thanks @FacelessNumber, I didn't know you could pay in cheques with banking apps. I rarely see a cheque, but that is very useful to know 👍🏾. I just had a look and I can deposit the cheque in the post office as well, so I think that gives me a back up option for today. I'm trying to find excuses to leave the house as I spend too much time in my bed and I think I'm aging my body as a result of it. 

You really can't put a price on seeing your child happy, and it's a warm feeling that you can't even fully articulate either isn't it @AntoMac? But yeah, seeing him so much happier has made all of that struggle so worth it and I'd do it all again.

My brother is thinking of going to New York next year with the teenage boys, and none of them have been to America before, so they're excited. It's still a big 'if' they go, as it's not a guarantee, but my son is getting a job in the summer to start saving for the trip and any spending money. My brother seems to be a whizz at finding cheap flight deals etc. But if it's not cheap enough, then it's not gonna happen.

Cherryfudge

Hello @Keedie, is today the day you go back to work? Thinking of you and praying for a good day x

beanielou

Hope all goes well for you today. 

Keedie

Thank you so much @Cherryfudge and @beanielou for remembering me today and wishing me well. I did go back today and the 3 hours drained me even though I took a 30 min break.  

I’d not slept much in the last few days or so as I’d been anxious about returning. But it wasn’t as bad I thought it would be. Everyone seemed happy for me to be back, but I didn’t turn my camera on for the Teams wider team meeting. I just sat there and didn’t really do anything 🤣. 

I had over 1,100 emails so I’ll be making my way through them incredibly slowly. So far I’ve moved the emails that look like they might be important to a separate folder. And I’ll keep doing that until my last day of the week on Thursday. Then next week I’ll start to read them and make a note or what I need more information on or further clarification. I figured once I’v done all of that, then I can start dealing with basic queries.  

I was pleasantly surprised to see about 6/7 people I’ve never met before, which means there’s more people to do the work. And the ticket portal didn’t have a lot of tickets compared to how it usually was at this time of the month in the pay period. So that’s less daunting and I’ll be able to do things at my own pace without the pressure of a large backlog of work waiting for me. 

I’m going to still take the days as they come though, as I do still rather fragile and sluggish. 

Cherryfudge

Brilliantly well done getting through all that! You should be proud of yourself.

I would imagine some of the tiredness - maybe a lot of it - is from the amount of emotion involved, which should settle as you get reaccustomed to it. Stick to your boundaries, though.  

Crickey, that's a lot of emails! And the reduction in tickets - could that be that the extra staffing is paying off?

Have a peaceful evening.  

beanielou

Glad that things went ok 
that's a lot of emails!

~FlowerPot~

well done, I think that sounds like an amazing first day back ~ you got through it, hopefull your sleep will settle down now you have started back.

I hope you are as proud of yourself as we are of you!!

Love FLowers x

Keedie

I think you’re right about the emotion causing a lot of the fatigue @Cherryfudge. I was really tense and finished that short stint with a headache. I’m definitely going to stick to my boundaries and move at a snail pace with everything. 

I think the reduced workload has been from a variety of factors; they’ve hired more people, a change in senior leadership, services that sit outside of our remit have been pushed back, changes in processes and no longer relying on one person to do key tasks etc. I’ll see how it goes when I’m actually doing the work and not just sifting through my inbox, but seeing my HR portal queue with a big fat zero, and knowing that no one is going to be assigning anything to me, is reassuring.

My heart sank when I saw my inbox @beanielou! But then I decided to go through the emails from my team and managers. Then deleted the kind of emails that were out of date, about things like car park closures or lifts being out of service. 

I think I’ll definitely get better sleep @~FlowerPot~, now that I’ve been back to work and I have a strategy on how to tackle everything. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. 

My son gave me a hug of encouragement last night and told me that he’s proud of me and he sorted out my lunch for me today as I finished at 1pm. All of that and this forum has really helped with the transition of going back. 

badmemory

When you have that many emails to deal with is when you find out how much BS you normally receive in a day without really realising.  The delete button is your friend!