The Mental Debt Struggle...

beanielou

Waitrose are great as is the essentials range.  Added bonus is they will deliver into your room of choice & even help you unpack.  Where I am you can pick up a saver slot for £2.  Worth thinking about? 
I am eternally grateful I live in a bungalow.. 

Keedie

I think realistically I can't move until my son is at uni, as his anxiety wouldn't handle the change whilst he's at college. And when he goes to uni, he said he's leaving London, so I won't have to think about catchment areas or his journey to college being disrupted, as it's already a bit of a commute for him.

But yes, I am in a council flat @PennysIntoPounds. I need to complete an updated medical form, but the reality is that there is just not really any housing stock and definitely no ground floor flats in abundance, but there are high rises with lifts. Which would work but if the lift goes out I'm stuffed. I'm on a waiting list for occupational therapy to assess what adaptations I need in my flat. I am struggling with the bath sometimes, and the bath lift I have is very hard and uncomfortable. I know the reality is that I have to move, I just need to get things in a better position to facilitate that. An updated medical form will increase my housing banding priority when bidding on properties, and redecorating my flat will make it more attractive for a homeswap. 

I love the location where I am though. My GP is on my estate, as is the pharmacy, children's playground and lots of green space and great transport links. That's part of why I have been hanging on so much, but the reality is that I am very tired and it's getting harder to mobilise in and out of the flat.

I'll definitely have a look at Waitrose this weekend. I need to go through the cupboards and see what's there and what is in the freezer, so that I can work out what we're going to eat and what I already have. If I have a good order with Waitrose, then that can make life a lot easier independence wise without a car. I hate driving manual, so the car has to go anyways, but it's getting costly and I'll barely get anything for it now. I should have stuck to my original plan and gotten rid of it by Christmas.

I wish I lived in a bungalow too @beanielou. My friend in Norfolk lives in one, and it's so nice visiting her as everything is on one level, but as it's a bungalow and not a flat, the room dimensions are easier to get around in. I'm going to see her next weekend and get the train there and she'll collect me from the station. I've finally worked out the step free access way to navigate the tube up to Kings Cross station, to get from the platform to the street with no steps. As I get weak when I have to walk and take stairs, and so I'm always wiped out before the train leaves the station. I need to get one of those fancy 4 wheeled suitcases that glide along like the cabin crew and pilots have in all the films. It'd make life even easier.

Cherryfudge

Well done on getting week one behind you!

I can imagine ground floor flats are hard to come by, and it makes sense for both you and your son not to take on too much at once. Perhaps a bit of casual viewing of what's available - even if it isn't suitable - might kickstart the thought process and ease your way in? Looking at what others have done with their homes is a good way of noticing what wouldn't work for you, to start with, and you can see what's available without committing.

I hope you have a nice, relaxing weekend.  

Humdinger1

@Keedie, what can I say but marvellous! You are absolutely wonderful.  Well done on everything you're achieving.   Love Humdinger xx 

Makingabobor2

I agree with @Humdinger1, you are amazing @Keedie.  Yes you have your issues and challenges, but you always try and remain positive as much as you can and look for ways to meet these challenges and overcome them.  It does sound as though a house/flat move might be the way forward soon and as you have already identified that, you will now be able to get into the right mindset for it and do some tentative investigation and see what is around and what might me practical. 
Hope you manage to sort the car issue out. Do you have anyone you know who could look in Eb*y and see if the part can be bought from there 2nd hand and then ask the mechanic to fit it?  This is what my DH does with car and motorbike parts. Saves a lot of money. 

Keedie

That's great advice regarding viewing properties @Cherryfudge. I need to tidy and declutter my flat so that I can take some nice pictures to put on the home swapping websites. I won't say anything to my son though as he'll freak out. We've been here since he was 3 and I know that he doesn't really want to move, so I'll just start the practicalities in the background and take it from there.

Thank you for your kind words @Humdinger1 and @Makingabobor2, they really do mean a lot to me. I always find it fascinating that people are in any impressed by me 😂, but I'm trying to take the compliments in my stride, so thank you. 

My niece had a great birthday party yesterday, but I went home with a bit of headache. Who knew 13 pre-teen girls could be so LOUD 😬. I did my nieces hair and she was feeling super duper fly 😂. The girls made key chains, played limbo in the garden and were running around and chasing each other. I watched a rather aggressive football match take place, spurred on my 3 nephews who were out for blood, but the girls were not rolling over that's for sure 😂. Then they were all dancing in the garden as my brother in-law has some speakers out there and then we managed to get them inside for pizza and a games night before cutting the cake.

Most of the birthday went home and then the 5 that stayed over, all went in the pool and had a pool party and movie night. I ran off before the pool party with my South London Niece and Hot Chocolate Nephew, and my South London Sister and sister in law picked them up from my house and once they were gone, I went straight to bed as I was knackered after trekking across London. Luckily my son had put my electric blanket on for me, so I was able to get into a toasty bed 🤗.

My East London Sister said last night  she caught a few of the girls trying to play Roblox at midnight! She had to confiscate the controllers and devices so that they would get some sleep, but she could still hear them giggling and talking at around 1am 🤦🏾‍♀️! How they were all up at 7am for breakfast I don't know.... 😳.

My South London Sister took me, Hot Chocolate Nephew (her son) and our South London Niece to the Planetarium in Greenwich and we watched a screening of We Are Guardians. It was all about the Earth, ecosystems, global warming and how humans are destroying the Earth (put in an animated almost 3D film version). It was really good and made me think about how much we're neglecting and damaging the environment. I quite liked the fact that the screen is a massive dome shape in the ceiling and the seats all recline backwards so you're gazing up at the screen and all the animations. It was quite impressive.

I had £9.62 in spare change, accumulated over the week and so that was put in the respective money tins. I also had £20 in £1 coins that I've accumulated over the last few weeks, so I'll bank that at some point this week and put it in my 50 Envelope Challenge.

I've given up on the car, and so I am going to get a quote from We Buy Any Car and see what I can sell it for. I've no intention of pouring money into something that I barely use and don't actually want, just see if I can boost its resale value when the reality is that it's not worth that much anyways. My sister thinks I should sell it on Autotrader or Gumtree, but the thought of doing an advert and dealing with people wanting to view it or test drive it etc is just a hassle I can't be bothered with.

It's not very MSE of me, as I know WBAC are scam artists and don't pay very much, but I feel like every day I hold onto it, I'm losing money anyway. It's costing me in insurance, road tax, parking permit, MOT, service, petrol etc. But I have a freedom pass and although it's more awkward and tiring, I can still hobble around.

Whatever I get for the car will go into a high interest savings account and I'll slowly save for a replacement, but it will be automatic. So I'll continue to budget for my monthly car insurance (£50) and car maintenance (£25) and pay that into that account so it keeps building. Then when I am debt free, if I've missed driving, I can get an automatic little run around, knowing that I can afford the car. But if, like I suspect, I'm not interested in driving anymore, then I can put that money towards my son's first car. 

I'll keep my travel budget at £50 a month, in case I need to get a cab or something or a train to a place further afield. I've had another look at the London Taxicard scheme, and I seem to qualify, so I'll be able to get discounted taxis and minicabs to help me. But in all honesty, I'm rather boring and rarely leave my room let alone my flat so I don't think I'd even make use of any of those schemes ... 😬😂. I just need to be sure that I can get groceries delivered to my third floor flat, as we have no lift, and once that's all possible, then we're cooking with gas so to speak and I can get rid of the car. 

Keedie

I've been in a rather reflective mood lately. My brain fog is not very good and I've been struggling a lot with motivation and being able to focus. But in between the dizzy spells and fatigue, I've been lying in my bed and pondering the meaning of life etc... 🤔

Actually, I've just been trying to work out what to cook for dinner, or how long it would take me to get from A to B with no car 😂. But all that introspection has made me have a longer think about my goals, budget and how life would look if I focussed on what would make me happy instead of what I think I should be doing. And I think I've got a bit closer to working it all out. Once I am sure of what I'm doing, I'll be able to post it for accountability.

Work isn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it's worse in other respects. I'm exceptionally bored, but the main thing is that it is not stressful. So that's something. 

Sun_Addict

I think I’d have a headache with 13 pre teen girls too oh my days 🤣 You are an amazing lady and don’t ever think otherwise ☺️

Cherryfudge

I wonder if your brain fog is connected to getting back into a work routine? A backlash, perhaps, or tiredness? Struggling with motivation and being unable to focus sounds like me when I've pushed myself a bit too much.

It's really good to hear that it's going better than expected. The boredom part is interesting. I wonder if it was always boring but you were too busy to find out, or perhaps you have grown and changed since you went off. Anyway, it's something to listen to when you consider what to do next.

Makingabobor2

Definitely a good idea to think about what will make you happy, rather than what you should be doing.  Life is not a dress rehearsal and you only get one stab at it, so no point living it for others and doing what you think is expected of you. Live it for yourself and make the most of every single day.  That is something I have been trying to so for a long, long time.