NST JOYFUL JUNE

mothernerd

beanielou said:

Glad that all went well mothernerd.

I am not sure what I would do about my ex DH's funeral.
I would want to support DS but the rest well............

Yeah I went to the grandparents funeral with my sons but sent them to the front with their dad and stayed at the back - in fact for their grandad's I stayed outside with the dog (they'd sort of been told it would be okay for him to attend by the minister who got cold feet on the day). I had a pleasant time with the dog until he 'performed'. They hadn't given me any bags so I rummaged in one of the bins and used the cellophane wrapping from a wilted bunch of flowers.

At the wake I sat with my family, didn't circulate but people who wanted to speak to me came to me (my niece and her partner were very welcoming - I even got a verbal wedding invite), those who didn't stayed away (I was very relieved). At their nanna's there were inquiries with the subtext of 'now that your main rival is dead, will you be taking him back?' My response was no thank you, he had never told any of them about his gambling (he was very selective about which GA 'steps' he followed - very little on being open and honest with his nearest and dearest, no apologies (apparently he insisted he was completely bewildered as to why DS3 wouldn't speak with him) and no making amends (I got a slight one, very belatedly - he wanted to pay for my flights and accommodation for DS1's wedding and I let him. It didn't match up with never paying a penny in maintenance - DS3 was only 3 when I divorced him and he had far more money than I did, all mine went on the boys, got them all through to degree level).

I think the smallness of the gathering helped a lot (and the absence of some people). All his different groups of friends were represented - the pub, the bridge club, the music friends, quiz friends, rugby supporting friends and enough relatives to make a small friendly group - although some of those didn't come to the wake. And some were away or found it too painful to attend. At the end of the evening it was just the 4 of us (I was ready to curl up and go to sleep an hour before but knew that DS2 was enjoying talking with his uncle and mummy to be was also wilting).

It got very honest at the end - but each person had their own version of the truth. Ex's baby bro claims to have no problem with his daughter being a lesbian and doesn't understand why she's cut him off. Given his other pronouncements it's easy to understand why she thinks he has a problem. His wife had sent firm instructions to him from Spain that he was Not to speak - he would say thinks he shouldn't and would further deepen existing rifts.DS2 tried once again to tell me how he was the peaceful one, DS1 and DS3 caused all the problems and that I always 'favoured' DS3 and took his side. I did get bonus points for how well I'm managing since mum's death, even my 4-6 week stuck period is a mere blip and he's only sorry he hasn't been available to help me with the physical stuff - he gave priority to his dying father (he's also delayed progress on his masters and has a baby due in 5-6 weeks).

Sorry I only intended this to be a short post. Will get on with my morning routine - morning pills, drink lots of water (DS3 has filled a 2 l bottle for me as well as putting my clothes near the WM and bringing the rest of my suitcase contents upstairs - my room is a death trap he says, as if I didn't know), nibble cheese triangles, google new symptoms (think the orange brown fingertips are down to eating a sliced up red pepper on the way home but I've washed them twice).

Later turtles.

Toni'sfriend

Welcome back, Mothernerd. I'm glad it all went well. Unfortunately I didn't have anything I could substitute for the cleanser so I had to buy one as I'm desperate to do something about my frumpy appearance. It's not an expensive brand and I got a third off at Boots so it didn't break the bank. I have checked all the toiletries and I have all sorts of random tubes of things like heel balm and foot scrub. They must have come in those sets that your given for birthdays, etc. Anyway, the plan is to start using them up this week and see if the they have any effect. Can't do any harm. I suppose.

That's the first week of my "diet" passed. I don't like to call it that because, as well as loosing weight, I want to break all these bad eating habits that I've fallen into. So, I've lost three and a quarter pounds. More than I had hoped so I'm really pleased. Going for a walk most days, albeit not very far, has probably helped a little as well and it's got me out in the fresh air.

Only three NSDs so far but I'm buying a lot of fruit, veg and salad stuff every few days so I'm not so bothered so long as it's in budget.

Absolutely bucketing down here so no walk but I've got my eye on some cupboards that need clearing.

Have a good day.

KxMx

@mothernerd So glad you had a successful trip, after the kerfuffle with the cancelled train.

I was a little concerned to see you are taking on furniture on behalf of DS2/ ex's family, even you admit you have no room for the pieces.
Why is DS2 not taking them straightaway or paying to store them elsewhere as he is the one that wants to keep them?

You've said before you are already living in difficult conditions and that it isn't safe for grandbaby-to-be, why add in more stuff which will cause even more stress for you later?

Please know I mean this kindly, with the best of intentions, I used to live in absolute chaos too so I understand well how stressful it is living like that. It sure doesn't go well with ill health either.

I have used this company to sell vintage items before, very easy process, and they take cameras: 
www.vintagecashcow.co.uk/items-we-buy/cameras

It probably was the pepper giving you orange fingers, I get those if mine get to a certain stage, and i've given up trying to clean it off, I just wait until it fades

beanielou

Great lo0ss Toni 

apple_muncher

ditty - do they not cut you a little slack with the marking, having broken your elbow?

abundant1972

Good evening ☔

Welcome home Mothernerd - well done for surviving and for fitting in some time to look after yourself too. We missed you!
Thank you also for the kind words and recommendations. 

Survived my first day Denni (thanks!) and all went well - though wiped me out. Had planned to go to the gym after and I thought '!!!!!! that' as soon as I'd done my time lol. Had a lovely restful afternoon and dozed off a few times despite 8 hours sleep last night and a coffee! Must have needed it. Could be that I have slashed my caffeine intake and my body is just finding its own balance again. 

Sending out big hugs to you Ditty - you're doing a great job and getting through things bit by bit. As someone suffers with anxiety at times it can be an awful space to be in when life feels pressured and I feel hemmed in. Create a little bit of space in there for something relaxing and reward your progress with a few little treats. 

Am very proud of myself for recognising bad habits in my life that have been destructive and taking steps to unravel them. The counselling I am having is really helping me stay present with the issues as they surface. I have cut down the time I spend on addictive dating (I use the term loosely!) apps - and am starting to filter out and remove the toxic people that I had invited into my space/life. I think it has freed up so much headspace - enabling me to focus on things that matter... My well-being, finding and growing new friendships, and reconnecting with my spirituality which is so important to me. Hopefully if I can strengthen my boundaries personally and at work - I will cope better with life and be happier.   

Today = NSD number 3

Today I am grateful for:
1) My health, and my body that shuttles me around here there and everywhere
2) For the kindness of people at work welcoming me back
3) For the new friendships that are growing

Have a lovely evening everyone x

firsview

Evening Turtles. Well, as predicted Dad tested positive yesterday. He says he feels fine as he had a lemsip last night which has miraculously cured him. The government are obviously wasting their money on the Covid vaccine. In better news, I tested negative today so I was able to go and get him some urgent shopping, which strangely only consisted of crisps, Rice Krispies and a vast amount of lottery tickets.
I am glad you survived your trip relatively intact Mothernerd (although I must say I preferred f0xh0les Mothernerdd) and I hope you are having a well deserved rest now. The weather has been truly appalling here since the weekend and I thought the South Coast was normally one of the driest warmest places in the UK. My washing pile has grown to truly epic proportions as I point blank refuse to use the dryer.
I am back to work properly on Friday as I am no longer a biohazard, I have quite enjoyed the rest though.
Today I am grateful for testing negative, Dad feeling fine and getting back to normal.

ditty1234

@apple_muncher kind of, not really. Due to suffering from extreme procrastination, to the point where i get sick its all due a while back. So just have to work through it.
@abundant1972 thanks i am really trying but it just takes me hours to settle in and by then i'm too tired or something else pops up.
There is a lot of background stuff in my life. DS1 pip saga, niece in hospital w migraine, memorial for son of acquaintances on Sunday, very sad and very unfathomable really, realised bread is ultra processed food, need to get bread maker, just too many things, really. Life stuff, need to get the seeds for pumpkin growing competition, i have gone to bed w a cuppa. Back in the bucket line tomorrow to keep putting out fires. XX

apple_muncher

Today I am grateful for sunshine and warmth, for cheerful pupils, for the end of the working day, for salt and vinegar crisps, for my raspberries.

Thrifty_Taylor

As it was a late night for me last night, with trying to finish the 3 memory bears, I didn't push myself to doing exercises today. Got the bears packaged up whilst eating breakfast, so I could post them on my way home from work. Work was a bit up & down in the morning - must've been something in the water at one end of the school! Thankfully the afternoon went better. Pinned s bridesmaid into her dress (🤣) before I came home. My turn to buy the local paper this week (take it week about with my mum). Completed 2 sewing jobs after tea, even managed to squeeze in a bit of crochet too 😃

Grateful for a dry afternoon, crochet time, more customer enquiries