Where to focus - mortgage, renovations etc?

Working_Mum

Aw shellstar I am sorry you are feeling a bit deflated after recent events. I know exactly how you feel having been in a very similar situation myself 16 years ago.

You seem to have a solid, pragmatic head on your shoulders and you are clearly a bright and dedicated Mum. From my external perspective I think you doing a brilliant job juggling everything whilst keep your beautiful boy at the heart of all of your decisions. Whilst it feels really tough right now you are making progress and you should be proud if yourself.

I ended up having almost 11 years in what was our family home - with a few lucky breaks along the way I eventually started living the life I'd dreamed of (and planned) for myself about 5 years ago. I found it was when I allowed "hope" to creep in I'd invariably feel the pain when things fell through or didn't go to plan. As Shakespeare said "expectation is the root of all heartache"

I'm sending you big hugs and I'd bet a £ to a pinch of salt it won't be long until you're back on your feet and living the life you're dreaming of now.

((big hugs))

WM 

shellstar

@Working_Mum thank you for the pep talk. You are right. This is just a time in my life, as everybody has. I need to give my head a wobble I think. Make fewer 'plans' right now and just concentrate on getting to grips with the current situation. I've only just gone back to work in reality! Plus I haven't lost anything. A potential opportunity didn't pan out. It became clear before I'd spent any money on solicitors and surveys etc. Really not a bad thing.

Plus, of the things I listed on Vinted yesterday morning, 3 have sold already! I've made £12 once completed and I haven't sold anything on Vinted for ages so that's great. I just have to package them up and send them now. Will use my lunch break for packaging up and see if I can't ship them off on the way to pick up DS later. 

Things are complex right now. They'll get better through the small wins. DS slept until 5.45am this morning after a brutal couple of weeks of 4.30am wakes following a nasty cold. Practically a lie-in! I suspect he's still got a few pre-5am wakes in him but at least we have signs of it going back in the right direction. 

Ex-DP is deployed now, so whilst I'll lose what little help I had at the weekends, I also won't have to manage his depression and negativity. I've arranged to take DS to a softplay with an NCT mum on Saturday. We can't stay the whole session cos we need to get back to walk the dog, but we've not been to this one so it'll be a fun adventure. 

shellstar

Something's gone wrong with my budgeting this month. I thought I was on track but appear to have spent my entire grocery budget already. Obviously Christmas is part of that, but I did put extra in for the Christmas spend. I also got paid 2 weeks early (which I absolutely hate. I don't find it helpful at all) but I thought I had managed for that as well. 

I think the main issue is that ex-DP said he would pay for the NYE food and then didn't. I ended up doing the shopping for ease, and I told him what it had cost but I realise now he never sent the money. He has a habit of forgetting unless you remind him. Unfortunately, he's now deployed so I can't imagine I'll be getting it now. So this hasn't helped things. I have probably over spent a bit as well. 

My freezer does have a lot in it, and I have enough for two more batch cooks in the slow cooker. I can take from other pots to cover bread, milk and fresh fruit. I seem to have saved on the dog this month so hopefully I can get by ok. 

I do have a trip for work coming up. Unfortunately, with my new company the travel expense policy is unrealistically low. They are a German company and I've learned there are some odd German laws around how much you can spend on food for yourself whilst travelling, which make it very difficult to stay within budget when travelling through airports etc. They let me off last time, but I'm going to have to learn all the tricks of the trade to stay in budget and still be able to eat enough and not too unhealthily. If anyone has any tips for cheap meals at Heathrow (usually terminal 2, 3 or 5) then let me know! I'll be taking an empty water bottle to fill up from the fountains and save on drinks. 

I've had to consign two pairs of jeans to the recycling. One pair died a death a while back but I've still been wearing them around the house. Another pair have developed some holes in unmentionable places and aren't repairable. I don't really have time to go shopping and DS is not a patient shopping companion. Our charity shops also don't let you try things on in store, which is a pain if you find something doesn't fit as it's more time I need to find to take something back. I'm down to two pairs of trousers so I will definitely need to replace at least one of the pairs. Maybe when Granny is here next I can do a charity shop run if she's happy to entertain DS for me. 

shellstar

A reasonable week money wise. I've managed to only have to buy bananas, eggs and milk this week, so I've not had to go over my grocery budget anymore. DS is teething and not eating a lot of what I make him, which is leading to earlier mornings. So we're back to 5.30am starts (which is better than 4.30am, but not as good as my longed for 6.30ams, which he only seems to ever give me for a few days every few weeks. 

My mum suggested that we take DS to Butlins together later in the year when the childminder is on holiday. I looked into it and was surprised how inexpensive it was compared to other options so I booked that at the start of the year. I realised Mum hadn't given me her contribution (especially as I paid extra to choose the room and make sure she didn't have too far to walk to attractions. She is arthritic with ever worsening mobility) so I asked politely if she had the money available and she paid me straight away. This is great as it's given me the buffer I need to get through the rest of the month to pay day I hope without dipping into savings. 

I've also been researching sim only mobile phone contracts and my current provider has made clear they won't be able to match the deals I found. Apparently I can't move until 8th Feb without penalty, but I'll be changing as soon as the 8th roles around. I've been with my provider for absolutely ages. I'd say decades actually. They've always matched, or bettered the deals I've found. The new provider uses the same network so hopefully I won't notice any difference. Bit nerve wracking weirdly! 

shellstar

Pay day today! Some good news and bad news. Bad news is that I’m on an emergency tax code and my new pension also kicked in this month, so I was paid less this month. Things will be tight again but I’ll do my best to save at least £500.

The very, very good news is that my boss called me up yesterday and said they had been so impressed since I started and were very aware I had taken a step back in my career, and so to reflect my value to them they are increasing my salary by £5,000!! Given I didn’t even ask for a pay rise and have only been there 3 months I think that is amazing. It didn’t go into this months pay but should be there for February’s. I am extremely grateful and felt bad I also applied for a new job last week, but unfortunately the money doesn’t really compensate for the level of travel I currently have to do with such a young son. Still, this is hugely helpful and some very welcome good news that will help me in terms of securing our future in the village longer term. My son’s funded childcare hours have also finally kicked in (woooooo hoooooo) and so I am paying a bit less for childcare this month. I received my job offer 4 days too late to get them for last term but I get them now. I’m sure it will make a big difference.

I’ve signed up to Data Annotation to try to make some extra money for the buying out/moving fund. So far I only it is hard to find the time but I have been able to accrue about £30 so far. I’ll see how that goes.

I’m going to try to reduce my food spend this month. I have a lot of food in the cupboards, so I’m hoping I can get creative with that. The challenge right now, as always, is time but hopefully I can utilise the slow cooker. I just need to work out exactly what I have, and what I can make with it.

South_coast

Wow, what fantastic news from your boss! It's great to be appreciated, but even better when they want to pay you for it 😀!

shellstar

Thanks @South_coast, I was very surprised and totally over the moon. As you say, nice to be appreciated and rewarded too! I shall be careful to spend save it wisely.

julicorn

Congratulations shellstar, you must have done amazing work over the last few months!

shellstar

I've switched bank accounts! I haven't changed accounts since I opened my student account more than 25 years ago! However, I was hearing that switching is super easy and I saw a great offer of £175 bribe, 1% cashback, access to a 6.25% regular saver and so I've decided to go for it. This should all help. 

Had a lovely weekend with DS. Took him for dinner with a friend and half expected him to throw most of it on the floor but he actually ate it well, and then had a great time running around the half empty shopping centre like a maniac. I've got a cold but he's in good spirits, eating well and sleeping pretty well too. Hope it lasts until I am at least fully healthy again. 

I've got an HR interview this week for a senior position. Not sure how flexible they are on office attendance, but suspect international travel would be less. They haven't provided the salary either, so I'll be asking those indelicate Qs. First role that's come up this year, and only the 3rd since I got made redundant 7 months ago. It feels good to already have a job though. Takes the pressure off a little and means I'm also able to focus on whether this role and company is right for me, and not just desperate to get anything. We shall see! 

shellstar

Oh, and on the 1st of each month most of the bills go out, and Ex's share of those bills come in. I always budget fully for the bills with my salary, just in case, and then when his contribution comes in (mortgage, childcare etc.) that money is then available to me, because I've already covered the expenses. This month I seem to be doing pretty well, especially given I cleared less than normal. I'm a little worried I've forgotten to budget for something, but I can't think what it is and I've added a little extra in for food just in case. I've therefore just transferred £732 to my premium bonds, which is the surplus I believe I currently have.