Debt and Caring

Cherryfudge

I think you being with him so much certainly entitles you to an opinion. Is this the sister who's a GP? If so, could she be looking at things medically (she would normally send people to hospital but you will know how your Dad feels about it and whether you are able to provide the care he needs at home).

Don't let it get you down (I know, easy to say). You're doing an amazing job looking after your Dad and helping him to stay in familiar surroundings.

savingholmes

Families can be very trying. Hope things improve soon.

WelshmansDaughter

I'm trying to be charitable and reminding myself that they are struggling a bit. Sis is pregnant and working as a doc (not a gp, Cherry she is still training after med school). Her husband works for the nhs as well in project management. 
Still kinda want to punch them though 🤣🤣🤣 
Mostly what annoys me is the feeling like I'm making allowances that I don't feel like I get in return. 
Although I'm grateful for the change and to see nephew (mostly) I'm glad this won't be happening again. 

Very much off track these days so rebalance is in order.

WelshmansDaughter

The world's easiest murphy bed plus floor chair

Cherryfudge

I love those shades of blue. So relaxing.

Sometimes it helps to be honest and explain that adjustments are necessary. You probably know how that works and I'm not an expert but I had to be honest with my sister about something (this may have to happen again as situations move on!) and she made an effort to alter her behaviour. Standard advice would be to plan what really needs to be said, chose a time when people aren't under pressure, use 'I' messages (I need you to make allowances for me', instead of 'You aren't making allowances for how I feel and everything I've put into sorting things out': just shifts the balance off them being to blame, even if they are)... also thank them for the positives. You do have to choose your moments though and with all that's going on, that may not be easy.

Rebalance sounds such a sane idea. If you find out how to do it, please let me know as it's definitely not my strength!

WelshmansDaughter

Well I'm not off to a great start Cherry, I've just had fish and chips despite struggling with acid reflux. I can't stop coughing as a result 

Cherryfudge

Oh no, it does the same to me, not nice at all. Does it help to have a milky drink?

savingholmes

Sorry you aren't having the best time. 

WelshmansDaughter

A long and strange week, full of ups and downs. 
Took nephew on the bus yesterday and his little mind was blown. He kept squeaking "in the bus". So cute. 
Dad is not very well, hard to judge really with him but we know what path we are taking with his care.
Days are now just resting and recovering 

Cherryfudge

I bet it was lovely taking your nephew on the bus. You will have made his day.

I hope your Dad perks up. I don't expect the evil lurgy of the other week helped and when health isn't so good, he will take longer to pull round. But knowing what the plans are is important in case they are needed and its not all on you to make a decision.