Debt and Caring

Cherryfudge

P.S. I hadn't realised you'd worked in care in Scotland- the system will be different again there, I suppose, but I can appreciate when you are so caught up in a situation that you can't apply your head knowledge to fight yet another battle. I found this when trying to advocate for my Mum, though I eventually put in a complaint about a particular social worker. I could have argued it better because someone let it slip that Mum was asleep during an assessment meeting so couldn't take part in the discussion about her. Of course, the meeting should have been stopped till she was awake. As it was, the meeting contravened the Mental Capacity Act (mental capacity can fluctuate and if temporarily impaired, reassessment is needed when it's regained). I wasn't up to arguing that point then (was I even aware at that point?) and I was super-stressed, so I didn't argue that point, but I have to accept that as both carer and care professional, there were times when the system won because I was worn down.

It's a bit of a catch 22, isn't it? Worn down, so can't make the optimum decision to enable self and loved one to get a good break, so there are more issues to deal with, so one gets more worn down...

I'm still trying to think of things to get you out of the house... you've posted some lovely photos: could you do an outdoor photo a day? And exercise helps, but doesn't have to be out of doors (remember the Joe W!ckes exercises during lockdown?)

Cherryfudge

I saw this thread today and wondered if you'd come across the indoor walking videos that are mentioned?

savingholmes

Are there any warm space locations where you are?

Pink12345

I hope you don't mind me butting in again, but i think that there are 2 things that might be of benefit to you going forward, but please feel free to ignore.  The first one I benefited from and the second one I wish I had known at the time. One is that you look for home help, I got it initially for one hour a week to bathe my parent as it wasn't something I felt in any way comfortable with doing (having worked in the care industry you probably feel differently), once you are in on the system and circumstances change, it was easier to get more hours.  If there is a possibility that your dad may end up in a nursing home full time.  I recommend that you check out the requirements for the Fair Deal scheme, the forms are online.  I found it so stressful trying to get the paperwork together as my parent had been hospitalised and was never going home, but was only going to be released to a nursing home and the hospital wanted their bed back.  In the end the hospital paid the nursing home for a short period of time as they wanted the bed back so badly.

WelshmansDaughter

Cherry I have sat down to write a reply a million times and gotten sidetracked! Food wise I have taken to buying meat and planning meals around what I buy. Tesco 3 for 10 generally. 
I worked a desk job compiling reports for social care but also sat on committees for home care. I thought that was bad. Then I discovered yesterday that home care agencies are not regulated in Ireland 🤯. Although it explains a lot. My intention now is to get our care assessment reviewed in the new year once I have organised a care plan. I've sucked it up and contacted Family Carers Ireland to get some kind of support with the planning.
Funnily enough we do walk dad around the house but we are definitely inconsistent with it. I think those walking videos might give me a structure. I like the outdoor pic a day idea.

I haven't seen any warm spaces SH. Tried the local church but it was fairly cold so I don't think dad could walk there.

WelshmansDaughter

Nope Pink all comments welcome. 
My aim is to keep dad out of a nursing home. Unless I find somewhere he is happier or something happens to me. We do have the fair deal paperwork completed already as it happens, my mother got help to do it before I came home. 
We do have a care package in place. However this was designed around my mother's needs and is now hopelessly out of date. We do have a nice boy who comes in the evening for an hour to keep dad company.
And I have absolutely no problem doing personal care tasks. I did initially for toileting but got used to it. Body parts just became body parts to me. Or in dad's case, how in the hell is that happening parts.

WelshmansDaughter

monday outdoors in the snow

WelshmansDaughter

Phew. Finally sitting down after a strange old day of running around. Heart rate went up to 100 just doing some cleaning this am so is no wonder I'm always knackered (sleepless nights also obviously).
Did most of my filing using the office in a box method. It is a bit makeshift but it will do for the moment. 
I bought a smart extension plug for Dad's room. Finally got the schedule to work so now the heater will go on during the night when it is coldest. 
Work finished for the week. I missed two days over the last two weeks but made them up with extra on Sunday so I'm not out of pocket. Teacup has been a star this week looking after Dad for me. She is now my favourite.

I finally got a budget to balance. It does mean that my debt will take 36 months to pay off which is somewhat ridiculous given the amount BUT the point is not to get into these kinds of messes again. And to actually manage my money instead of just making black and white rules.

Cherryfudge

That photo is such a magical mixture of colours - beautiful.

Could your Dad do armchair exercises to supplement what walking he's able to get? There are plenty of ideas on YouTube.

Well done on balancing the budget!

WelshmansDaughter

The photo editor on my phone is great fun to play with.

Woke up this morning to the realization that I had balanced the budget. In euro. 🤦‍♀️
The amounts still pay more than the minimum payment but not debt repayment plan amount. D'oh.