Debt and Caring

WelshmansDaughter

savingholmes said:

It's bound to be an adjustment. Have you anything planned for your respite days off?

Sleep. Just sleep

WelshmansDaughter

It's done. Cue dramatic 🎵 🎶
Dad is in respite and I am officially on my longest break since April 2021. I have even taken off work this week as well. 
Bit of a panic this morning as they only sent the paperwork through at 9am. Then of course they didn't ask for it. I'm not 100% confident in their ability to look after Dad, the nurse looked quite confused at some of the stuff I was explaining about dad. She didn't seem to know people with dementia can have trouble walking on carpet which was a bit strange.

Well have splurged in lidl and am in the bath thinking about rest. Dog has been walked. Nothing planned to do today except watch hoarders (and maybe til debt do us part, mentioned on ladywithaplans thread and sounds intriguing). Pottering about tomorrow and maybe some scheming 

savingholmes

That documentary is intriguing - I watched an episode yesterday... 

Enjoy your break

WelshmansDaughter

I'm quite liking Til Debt Do You Part, they all seem to spend around 4000k a month which I just can't get my head around. 

Have sat down and written out a budget for the next 7 months. This takes me up to June which is when the support grant is paid. I have three categories. 
Fixed Expenses

Debt Repayment
Personal Spending
Fixed Expenses is a monthly cost of €773.
My income varies each month so I have allocated a different amount. First up is December.
Fixed Expenses=773
Personal Spending=500
Debt Repayment= 540

Personal Spending will include Christmas (bah humbug). I've been contributing to a small savings pot which has 112 in it. Its quite comforting to have a little savings pot even with the temptation to pay off debt with it. 

I'm not sure how well this budget will go, it does have an element of uncertainty. My income from the job isn't guaranteed. 

savingholmes

Good to try and do a budget - you can adjust as you go if the categories don't quite match. 

Have you been able to enjoy any more of the lovely scenery where you are? Have you been resting and enjoying your free time?

WelshmansDaughter

Christmas has been cancelled 🤣🤣🤣

I've officially said no presents this year, except for my 1.5 year old nephew. So I have bought that and let amazon be Santa. 
And that's it. No more Xmas pressure for me!

I have been out and about SH. Mostly shopping 🤦‍♀️ Now have to return the electric over blanket I bought Dad as we opened it up to find that the instructions said no use with pacemaker. Grr. 
I did go to the museum which has been on the list for a while. Course I ended up checking out if dad could go while I was there. 
Oh and Heavy and I went for a walk in the mountains during the week. 

Did a bit more money organizing last night motivated by Til Debt Do Us Part. Changed the monthly outgoing as mortgage has gone up (again) but have cancelled audible so it's not a huge up. Currently using some of the prime benefits so haven't cancelled that. Might try and put it on annual so I don't have to keep the up and down of monthly payment and going back and forth in different currency.
Looked up retirement numbers and mortgage payoff as food for thought. I may be debt free in 18 months (sooner hopefully) so I've been thinking about a five year plan. Today is allocated for more planning, this time care planning for dad and me. I have got our respite allocation for next year information. 
But first... To the tip!

WelshmansDaughter

Tip run successful except for forgetting the old toaster 🤦‍♀️

I had bought Dad an electric over blanket for night only to open it and find you can't use it if you have a pacemaker. It was a niggly thing and I was going to leave it til Monday but I took it back tonight on my way to lidl. Full refund and load off my mind. 
Completely overboard in lidl. 140 euro but I'm hoping that will be 10 days worth and also stocked up for dad coming home. 
I did also buy two fridge storage containers so the veg I buy doesn't end up in a pile. I've been dreaming of a pantry cupboard where everything is in one place... Sigh.

I've been back to thinking in positive ways about money but my eating has been backsliding. Ate an entire bag of butter popcorn and a bag of lidl fake percy pigs. 
I did do 5 minutes fast walking though this morning. 

Most ridiculous money related thing this week? Going on a tour of a fancy gym and trying to figure out how I could pay for it. 
At 259 euro a month I'd be on a Just For People Who Like Certain Things website. 
Genuinely disappointed that I couldn't have it and I think that's actually the first time I've gone through the whole thought process of what is it I want, can I get it here, how much will it cost, can i save up for it, do i need to prioritize other stuff, I can't afford it...

Til Debt Do Us Part is powerful motivation 

WelshmansDaughter

Bit of an emotionally fraught day today. Picked up Dad from respite and he was zoned out in front of the tv again. And three open scratches on his head because they didn't put cream on 🤦‍♀️ So bit of a disappointing result. 
To add to the disappointment I am realizing my income will be dropping this month as the family I work is sick this week and will be off over Xmas. So my debt repayment dreams are on hold again.
And then I did a bad thing 🤦‍♀️. I read my brother's msgs about me to my sister. Why I do these things to myself I don't know. Apparently he hates me. But my reaction this time is less about the shock and hurt and more just sadness that its his version of reality.
I got s**t to do. 
Having a crappy family has been a great excuse to keep me from moving on with my own life. But I can't keep re-enacting my own personal tragedy every damn day. 
I need to increase my income without impacting dad. 
I need to work on my depression.
I need to take care of my health. 

WelshmansDaughter

Part 2.
I am sick of being a princess. And since Gail Vaz-oxlade is not going to come and rescue me, I shall have to muddle through. 
I checked out the library for a place to go in the evening. 
I have asked the public health nurse about better quality respite.
Next is figuring out some way to increase my income without affecting dad's care.

badmemory

Sorry the care was less than it should have been.  That however seems par for the course.  My mother needed to be in a care home for over 3 years.  I am sure she wouldn't have lasted that long if we hadn't visited every day & checked that things were being done.  It seems a favourite "let's not" is the night time alarm button being left out of reach.  Then when you complain it is found to have been unplugged.  I have decided that I will not be going in one, as has my sister.  She already has the means & just hopes that the need is not sudden.  After quite a short time they are not the people you knew & loved & cared for.  I confess to having total sympathy with someone who can't watch it happening to their loved one & ends it for them.  Whilst I agree with euthenasia for me I do not agree with it because someone says it.  It is too easy to coerce someone into it.