Debt and Caring

WelshmansDaughter

Woke up at 10 this morning to a 'present' from the dog. On the carpet 🤦‍♀️
So time management this morning went like this: clean dad's feet and while moisturizer soaks in, clean up after dog. I'm starting to miss the days when time management meant scheming ways to avoid the daily huddle.

It may be a two teabag day.

Two cafe trips this week. Tiny Dictator is recovering from infections and was given a cafe trip as a treat yesterday. 
Talked to respite people, apparently Dublin is entirely booked up for that week and so it looks like we are shipping dad out to Kildare. The night waking is still bad but he's so obviously in pain that I just feel sorry for him. 


Made a payment of 300 on cc3. I was in arrears on this one so the minimum was 223 this month 🤦‍♀️

Clutter wise I think everything is just going to go to the tip. I just don't have the headspace to faff around with people and their awkwardness.

savingholmes

Well done on being willing to take stuff to the tip. That's huge progress. 

Sorry it's a two teabag day and that your dad's in pain. 

Well done on the CC. 

WelshmansDaughter

I think I'm in the stage of hoarding recovery where I just want it all gone. It helps that I didn't live here for so long and so I can see that all this stuff just piled up for no reason. 

Had a day off/slash sick day yesterday. Got up to have breakfast about 9, then went back to bed until about 2 in the afternoon. Got a bee in my bonnet about making beef stock so decided to take myself off on a walk to investigate the possibility. I went out looking for smoked sea salt as well. I'm starting to think that is a figment of my imagination as even the place with 20 different kinds of salt didn't have it. Have to buy online now.

The first butcher I tried didn't have bones but the second one cheerfully offered up two! And because I bought chicken livers they gave me the bones for nowt. This weekend has a make list of stock, yoghurt and fairy cakes (wee one's birthday treat). 

Got up this morning and decided I'd had enough of the dirty hall floor so have hoovered it. The sun catches the piles of dust, leaves and dog hair now and drives me mad. So tired now I'm having a sit down. 

WelshmansDaughter

There is now a super clean patch of carpet where the dog left her present. The rest of it is now looking quite shabby in comparison 🤣🤣🤣

Decided to just put bone and water into CiCi and see what happened. I have no way of cutting up the bones to roast them, (thinks sadly of my four power saws at home in Scotland). 

Possibly need to buy a food thermometer before making yoghurt. If it was just for myself I'd risk it, after all they've been making yoghurt longer than there have been thermometers surely.? But extra careful with stuff I give Dad so thermometer it is. Also have all the apples we bought him to use up, he wasn't able to chew this week. Bless him, he was determined to sleep today- had his chair halfway across the kitchen trying to get him out to go for a walk. Then had to feed him his dinner because he wasn't arsed waking up enough to hold the mug.

I'm perhaps a bit self conscious putting this here as everyone seems to have the opposite problem but I do want to keep myself on track so here goes:

I need to eat more. I've been tracking my food the last couple of days and I've been nowhere near 2000 calories a day. Which is starting to affect me physically and mentally, with soreness and fatigue. I also need to eat a more varied diet. 

It's one of the foundation problems I have, which does tend to contribute to the others. In French they say faire attention which is to make or do attention. I don't have enough ingredients to make or do attention because I don't eat enough. And then I rely on caffeine etc for my energy. So that is something to work on. It will likely mean setting aside money for food over and above what teacup buys in the weekly shop. It also means weaning myself off my daily bacon habit which I am not looking forward to. 

I also really miss exercise and can't do it at the moment without falling asleep mentally so that is another incentive. Have realized that my suspension trainer can go on the door so have set up a mini (very mini) gym in my bedroom, voila

savingholmes

Good that you are looking after yourself. 

stymied

Bacon is good for calories, I would work on building up around that rather than reducing it to start with. Are you trying to eat the same things you make for others or have you made yourself an afterthought for feeding if you have the mental energy left once all else is done?

Can you add a couple of things to TCs shopping list like a packet of mince and a block of cheese for a bulk cook bolognaise, or some chicken & coconut milk for a curry? Are you opposed to jar sauces? They do help make a quick & tasty meal where at least the meat & veg is fresh. Pizza and doughnuts are great for adding calories :-)  

badmemory

Are you sure it isn't eating bread that is making you feel lethargic, rather than not eating enough?

WelshmansDaughter

Hmm all food for thought 🤣 I don't really have all my thoughts gathered about it yet, haven't been sleeping much. Definitely undereating though, tracking it in Cronometer. 

No takeaways went out the window yesterday, bought Dad coffee and myself tea. Then so wound up at night I ordered a pizza and lemon cake. Honestly felt like my brain was trying to escape my head. So that is 4 out of 13 so far this month. 

badmemory

I still think it may be the food you are actually eating rather than the number of calories you are eating.

WelshmansDaughter

That is definitely a factor badmemory. My nutrition goes down the toilet when I get overwhelmed. 
But calorie wise I am still under eating, particularly for my activity level. Pushing Dad in the wheelchair is a whole new level of workout for me. 

I'm still using the PARA methodology to sort through my ideas, or at least I will when I start having ideas remotely related to what I am doing now and not (in no particular order)
My friend's garden design
How to deal with Tiny Dictator
What to put in Dad's respite notes

And so on.
I have done 15 minutes on Dad's notes and will continue that this week.
Tiny Dictator is an ongoing problem. And if I could figure out another source of income I'd quit that job because stress.
I don't have to do anything about the garden I just like thinking about gardens. And getting ideas for my own in the process.

I have paid for a year of cronometer which should give me a useful tracking and suggestion tool for planning my diet. The aim is to help me understand how I need the food aspect of my life to work. Instead of just following a clean eating or paleo methodology etc.