Debt and Caring

Sarahwithlove

Finally caught up on your diary. I think what you are doing for your dad is amazing. I wonder whether you had considered selling your property in Scotland. Not sure about house prices in Scotland but in England they got to a new high last year and although slowly coming down still above previous pricing. With the rising interest on your mortgage it may be worth considering. The items you want to keep would probably be cheaper to pay storage for then the interest you are paying. That's without general utilities even at their lowest and bare minimum are still being paid for nothing. Could you go to Scotland in Feb when your dad is in respite to try and tackle it. 

WelshmansDaughter

Funnily enough Sarahwithlove I went to bed last night with that exact thought. 
Also thanks for reading this far! And as Dad says I can only do my best (cough hates compliments cough).
My scattered thoughts so far about flat in Scotland-

Would I Have to sell via auction/webuyhouse type place

How much work to do to sell?
Better to keep and have an asset

At what cost does it become unaffordable

Can't go in February as haven't budgeted for it

There were more thoughts but I am still uncaffeinated so they will have to wait.
I have two weeks at least off so I think much planning and thinking to be done.

badmemory

You do need to think about your future however.  If you sell would the equity enable you to buy in the future?  I'm sure I remember reading earlier that you didn't think you could rent it out, but is that still the case.  That way you would have a property to live in when (sorry to say this) the inevitable happens.  Selling on a market which is downturning may not be the best idea.  Only you can know the answers, but try to make those decisions without too much emotion involved.  Yes easier said than done I know.  You could decide to sell in Scotland & buy somewhere in Ireland if you think you will be staying there in the future.  Nothing like options for making your head spin!

astrocytic_kitten

Not sure where you are in Scotland, but there’s a renting crisis in most of the cities just now and agencies are falling over themselves to have flats for let. Most banks will also give you consent to let for up to 2 years so you can let it out with their permission but without needing to switch to a btl mortgage. I have a friend who let hers out via an agency and the agency did the small fixes etc to get it up to letting standard and put it on her account so she didn’t have to pay upfront (not that I’d recommend that agency).

So there are options, but I also imagine all this feels completely overwhelming with everything else you’re going through. Big decisions are difficult enough at the best of times but when you’re burnt out and exhausted they become impossible. You’re doing your best, just keep going. 

Sarahwithlove

Potentially auction type thing may be easier but I guess best place to start would be to have an estate agent round for a valuation. Only you can decide if its financially viable for you to keep paying the mortgage costs etc. But if you are going to sell then sooner rather than later may be best with economic situation at the moment. House prices were at a new high and now coming down and will be a while I'd think before get back to those levels again so could be a positive for you if you get a good price for it now gives you more for future purchase hopefully when prices are lower again and you get more for your money. 

savingholmes

Renting it out or selling sounds a good plan. Did you fix the hole in the floor?

WelshmansDaughter

Today is the Winter Solstice and apparently it is a time for reflecting, releasing, letting go and setting intentions for the year ahead. 
The things that came to mind (so far) are:
Letting Go: the bitterness I feel towards my family. And the expectations that I have that they just can't meet. 
Setting intentions: to become a responsible, organised adult. To work hard and be resourceful. 

The next two weeks I will be off work so I will get some planning done. 
Part of the organising will be research for my next steps including the flat. And no, the hole in the floor is still there. 
I really appreciate the suggestions and they are all going in the pot while I figure out my next steps. Any and all advice gratefully received.

badmemory

WelshmansDaughter said:

. 
Setting intentions: to become a responsible, organised adult.

Good luck with this.  I'm still trying but then I am only 76.  So still a work in progress.

astrocytic_kitten

When you’re planning, focus on what is best and most realistic for you right now.

It’s really easy at times like this to get caught up in all the press about house prices and recession, but nobody can predict further than the next 6 months or so and the experts are just making an educated guess. You could sell now, prices could fall further and stay depressed for years, and you end up with a nice deposit for the next place. But equally, you could sell now and in 2 years prices could start rising again, and you end up needing to catch up. Experts have been predicting a fall in UK house prices to be more in line with salaries for at least the last 15 years and it hasn’t happened on any great scale yet. Also, there’s a renting crisis over a lot of the country and rents are way higher than mortgages in a lot of places with high competition for flats so renting isn’t nearly as easy as it used to be in a lot of places.

I’m just waffling a lot when trying to say that the only thing you can do is the thing that is best for you at the moment. Don’t get too caught up or stressed about trying to figure out the best way to game things out long term because there’s just no way to do that. Do whatever works best for your current circumstances, even if that’s keeping an empty flat with a hole in the floor because you just don’t have the mental bandwidth for anything more right now - and because you want a home to go back to. Go with your gut, and be gentle to yourself.

badmemory

I think that last sentence of AKs says it all really.