Debt and Caring

Cherryfudge

Perhaps start by treating yourself to a notebook and tie some of those those thoughts down on paper? If that works for you. Then you can review and also keep track of any memos to yourself, without trying to sort it all out in your head. It doesn't have to be orderly or planned.

Baby steps are a wise move, and if you make plans and need to change them, that's all right, too.

Also... is there something where you are now that you can do that has a treat value for you? Just to give the day a positive point to focus on. Lunch at a gallery, a waterside walk, a favourite bookshop etc. Whatever might work for you. It won't cure grief, and that's not the aim anyway. You will go through grief and come out the other side, but little breaks will help you do that.

{{Hugs}}

CRANKY40

Try transferring your list to paper. It doesn't stop me from checking the list but it calms the "I must" loop in my brain 

doingitanyway

I'm with @CRANKY40 with the lists, especially before sleeping.
Sending a hug

savingholmes

I use a journal to keep me sane. Hope you find something that works for you.

WelshmansDaughter

Thank you all, I'm sure it will surprise nobody that I will be taking an unconventional approach to life from now on.
Slept in the flat last night, not particularly pleasant so first stop this am is the local charity shop where I will hopefully find a folding bed. 
I've ordered breakfast (no surprise there).
People are asking me what my plans are and my answer is simple. No plans. I'm taking each hour as it comes. My to do list is the next thing and perhaps the thing after that.
I won't be going all out spending all day cleaning and clearing. I'll do bits as and when I feel it. 

Cherryfudge

I know it's a cliché, but you have to do what's right for you.

Enjoy breakfast!

WelshmansDaughter

A rather bountiful day. Dad must be looking out for me. 
I had planned to go to the local charity shop for something to sleep on but they only had an £85 futon that appealed. Except that it was a lurid shade of purple, a colour that now traumatizes me due to its preponderance in my mother's house. 
So I continued on, having been advised that I would find exchange services in the next post office along. My feet however took me to the bus stop and the bus into town. Into the large bhf furniture shop I went and discovered a kneeling stool! 
I was so excited and even more so when the man told me he wasn't sure what it was so he only charged me £5. Have been looking at them for over a year but I haven't seen any in shops to try out. 
Off I trundled to try and find a bed in another shop only it was closed so I went to starbucks as lunchtime loomed. There I took advantage of their wifi (none in the flat) and applied for disability. It was possibly the worst application they will ever read and quite frankly for £68 a week they are taking the !!!!!!. So that will fill me with dread for the next however long only to find that I won't get it. On the way back to collect my stool I popped into oxfam and lo and behold discovered the art book I had been looking for. 
Back to bhf and still looking for a bed had another wander round where I picked up a small paper cutter (guillotine) and then discovered a sofa on sale for £10! I also remembered that I was looking for a fan as the air in the flat is so stale so I bought one. 
I did a brief bit of grass cutting but it was uncomfortably hot and then time evaporated. So morrisons delivery from deliveroo with dinner and breakfast and then sitting in the chair I have put up for sale on olio. Have started listing things there to break myself in. 
Reading the Yorkshire Shepherdess book now and gently dozing.

Cherryfudge

Some great finds there - those kneeling chairs are supposed to be really good.  I assume the sofa can be delivered somehow?

savingholmes

Take it easy.

Glad you had some lovely bargains.

doingitanyway

Wow you did well. I'd love a kneeling stool. 
The Yorkshire Shepherdess is a calming read. Enjoy.