NST May MISCHIEF AND MAYHEM

mothernerd

I've had a strange day. When I went to put mum's bin out yesterday, I checked for post - still dribs and drabs coming through. Had put them in my bag so opened them this morning - one was a red final reminder for her electricity and gas account. This is the first communication I've had from them so not impressed (and a different company from the ones I had info on). Phoned straight away but it was too early. Waited an hour and phoned back just after 8 am.  Went through all the multiple choice questions and then got put on hold. They offered to hold my place in the queue and ring me back so went with that option. No ring back.

Tried again later, opted for making a payment but then realised that wouldn't get me much further forward, so cut the call and redialled. On hold for ages, finally got a person, gave the account number, answered a couple of others then cut across her as she launched into her 'can only speak to the account holder' spiel. She transferred me to the bereavement team and I was put on hold again. It kept telling me my waiting time was 10 minutes but I was on hold for over an hour (worrying that my credit or my phone's charge would run out). I went downstairs to get food and twice to the bathroom, taking my phone, the letter, my notebook and pen with me.

Set up ready for my CBT session. Eventually reached a pleasant helpful person who was kind and efficient. Offered to pay the amount due but their system didn't get along with my phone so asked if they could send a paper bill which I could pay at a bank (battery was on red by this time). Finally sorted 7 minutes before my session. Scrambled to set up my little table and get the phone plugged in for charging so a bit flustered. I'd also been passing messages with DS1 who was hunting his dad's flat for the will and some indication of his funeral wishes (received a message yesterday morning saying the boys' dad had died - learned last week that he'd reached the 'no intervention' stage). I told DS1 I thought his dad had already given him the will and a letter several years ago, which rung a bell with him.

Did my CBT session (depression up 1 point so from moderate into severe, anxiety down 1 point so mild). She seemed quite willing to abandon the session on hearing my news but I said to go ahead. Last week was a baseline diary, this week I have to build on that, taking care to alternate demanding (red) tasks with green and amber. Lots of material to read through.

Knew I should phone asking for an extension on the PIP paperwork but having gone to the wire on the utilities call (was close to pulling my hair out), I wasn't sure I could summon any more energy. DS3 brought the post up and the PIP people had decided to give me a 2 week extension without me asking for it. Then soon after the phone was charged I received an email and nearly simultaneously a phone call from the Probate Office saying they had granted Probate (paperwork is on it's way).

Then more messages reminding me that I have a UC appointment at 4pm tomorrow (wasn't sure if it was this week or next), 3 meetings in one week may be my limit especially as I have to organise an eye test, blood tests and then a return visit to the Practice nurse to see if all my efforts over the past 3 months have been successful. Not sure if I will be signing off UC tomorrow - legally I can spend some of the money in my account (mum's) but that puts me above the £6000 capital limit for UC - been granted probate but don't yet have the paperwork. I haven't been to bring mum's bin back in, will have to do that tomorrow.

Grateful for progress - really moved things on this week, having access to money (I want to book holidays if there are any places still available but will wait a bit to see what other hoops I must jump through - thinking I need to stay over to get through a funeral in North Wales, ex OH's parents' funerals were exhausting doing it all in one day and I was much younger and more mobile then, deciding not to go and bring mum's bin in (less a choice than a 'need to lie down and get unfrazzled').

ldee2111

Hello turtles

I’ve not caught up with everyone’s posts yet but I’ll read this evening with a cuppa. Thought I’d post my update before I get too tired.

Got home from London last night.  Had a lovely time at friend’s wedding and a day in the city - went up Tower Bridge which was fantastic. And we stayed under budget (not by much but still under). Very pleased with that! Stayed at the Purple-logo Inn and stocked up at the continental breakfast - they did advertise ‘unlimited’ so I didn’t feel awkward leaving each morning with a small pile of food - bananas, yoghurts, pastries, and spreads.  

Received our recipe box today and had the first of the four dinners tonight. It was very good and we’ll definitely have it again. Indian style fish and chips - basa fish marinated in lime, spices and nigela seeds alongside sweet potato chips, and a ginger and garlic curry sauce. 

Grateful today for Mum looking after DS who’s loaded with the cold, for colleague taking on my work while I was on annual leave, and for a tasty dinner and a new recipe that I’ll use again. 

beanielou

Mothernerd~~great news on probate finally.
I hope the rest of your week goes well.,

apple_muncher

Mothernerd, I reckon that bin is the least of your priorities at the mo. Take care x

Today I am grateful for plodding on with things (do I hear a cheer from beanie??), for having time to work on something for Friday, for finally handing over everything concerning the orals, for dh prepping tea, for dc doing their art hwk, for my bed, for a friend unexpectedly lending me the latest Rivers of London book, for generally feeling better than of late.

beanielou

A big cheer apple_muncher 

Thrifty_Taylor

@apple_muncher it might come close-ish to what I'm currently earning now, if I did it full time, but I'd miss working with other people & it'd give me back ache being rounded over at my sewing machine constantly! At the moment I work 27 hours at school, then do a sewing job nearly every night to top my wages up, as DH is a house husband, I'm the only wage earner.
What film did you see @Toni'sfriend? Hope you enjoyed it.
What a day you've had @mothernerd! Think you need a rest on the chaise lounge for a few days.
Forced myself to get up & do an exercise video, but was pleased I had afterwards. Had a good day at work, dropped sewing off on the way home, stopped to send an airmail card at the post office, then went a walk round the block in the warm sunshine. Replaced a coat zip after tea, then started cutting out memory bear pieces. DS3 asked me to order some things for him, just off to bed now.

Grateful for exercising twice, spotting more baby rabbits & butterflies on my walk, a gorgeous sunset

greent

@Thrifty_Taylor that sunset is amazing! What a gorgeous picture 😍

Deni_debt-free_dreamer

Morning all

Thrifty - stunning pic
Mothernerd - glad to hear of all that progress
Hugs where needed or wanted.

Been very busy with RL, covered some extra work on Tu eve and stayed late at FT job yesterday - was partly lured by free food - i got 2 cubes of tofu!!  Normal route home was closed so followed a diversion and panicked about running out of petrol - got home at 11 just as petrol warning light came on, phew.  Had some toast and went to bed.  WfH the rest of this week and clocking in FT job at lunch as i have lots of hours owing to me.  Will catch up on some of my other jobs.
DD2 messaged yesterday that some hospital tests were ok and she doesn't need to be on medication - very relieved.

Gratitudes - found a bargain M£S jacket in a CS, quick 10 minute catch up with work friend, DD2 getting good news from hospital

Love Deni 

f0xh0les

I am off to volunteer today, so am wearing a very nice  frock, as it costs nothing to wear what is already in the  wardrobe, and the zip went up like a charm, which is always a surprise for the top heavy.  Will have to spend the rest of the day fielding the question 'where are you off to later?'  and see the disappointment when I say, 'the school car park and the kitchen sink'.   

Congratulations on getting probate @mothernerd

It is the slow slide into the weekend!!

mothernerd

Thursday 19th May 2022

Thankful Thursday
Let's be thankful for:
Help and kindness you receive
Friends and Family that support you
Time you have to make it happen
Life lessons that make you wiser
(OurMindfulLife.com)

Less is more,
unless it's kindness, sleep or toilet paper
Happy Thursday

E   Energy - we all have limits, We need to simplify, organise, delegate  (more on this later)

Laura Moore (Clutter Clarity) advocates gentle decluttering "pottering through your stuff". It's not about 'getting rid of your stuff' but about 'choosing what's best for you'. The stuff can be a distraction, we hurl ourselves into chucking, clearing, sorting - busy work to avoid addressing the things that are really bothering us. Then we get overwhelmed. 

Laura's Tips on Time Management
1  Hurry is an option, not a lifestyle
(If I'm near to beating a level in a game, I often find myself speeding up and making mistakes, instead of stepping back, considering each shot - we're talking bubbles here, not bullets - and making each one count). 
2   Don't override your emotions
If you're getting worried or anxious about a decision, stop and work out what is bothering you about the situation. Even a ten minute break can help - come back to the problem with fresh eyes. Carrying on leads to overwhelm or being stuck. (I've felt stuck for the past month to six weeks and I've come to the conclusion that my body was protecting me)
3   How do I get everything done?
The simple answer is you don't, you have to prioritise. A long to do list is helpful in not forgetting stuff or having it cluttering up your head but be wary of putting too much in any one day or beating yourself up when you don't get through it all - celebrate what you did get done, don't make yourself miserable over the 'one that got away'.
4    If you prioritise and still have far too much on your list use the 5 'D's'
* DO your top 3 tasks (or just one if it's a frog or an elephant)
* DELEGATE Is it possible to hand this over to someone else? I found this useful when dealing with mum's stuff. I have eczema and dermatitis, don't even wear a watch (because if something get's stuck under the watch, by the time I take it off at night, I'll have an outbreak) and have zero interest in jewellery. Mum hadn't much of value so I gave the whole lot to my elder niece, told her to take anything she or her sister wanted and pass the rest onto a cs (younger niece ended up with my grandma's wedding and engagement rings - grandma's was the one I used for my wedding ceremony and then handed straight back to my mum afterwards).
* DROP There are always some things that aren't really that important.
* DEFER Move a task onto another day, next week, next month. This can apply to pleasurable things - something you really want to do but just don't have time (so my holiday will happen next year, I want to spend a whole day working my way round this gallery not just see a little bit - although that can work too if the alternative is to see none of it). Most housework tasks can be deferred if you're struggling.
*  DIMINISH  'I can't sort all my clothes but I could do the trousers'. Just because you can't do all of it, doesn't mean you can't do any of it. One shelf, one drawer, one patch of floor at a time. 

If you're incapacitated (either temporarily or permanently) lots of 'simple' tasks become challenges. I saw this today


It illustrates what dealing with chronic conditions including MH is like for many people. there are many versions of this and in many the central space is 'free space'. In this one the centre space is the most important. So when your rushing through your morning routine and don't need to think about brushing your teeth or work out how to get in or out of the shower (or settle for a quick wipe of the most important bits), be thankful. 

I once trapped my index finger in a very old very heavy wrought iron gate. I couldn't fasten or unfasten my bra, brushing my teeth was very ham fisted, I had to go to my mum's for her to wash my hair (and comb it) and I bought frozen roast potatoes for the first time ever because I had no idea how to tackle peeling potatoes.

For the past 2 weeks I've counted every day I resist the urge to pull the covers over my head and stay there until the world gets better, as a win (I'm okay now, woke up feeling good, several frogs dealt with or resolved themselves - some challenges do that0