Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask the bride-to-be for my money back?

JJC1956

Pollycat said:

JJC1956 said:

Pollycat said:

JJC1956 said:

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

I paid £150 towards a hen weekend away but the bride-to-be has now decided to have the hen do in her garden instead. Originally she told us she'd return the money, but has now said she's put it towards the cost of her new hen do. While I don't mind paying £30 or so towards it, I think anything more than that is unfair.

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. Remember that behind each dilemma there is a real person so, as the forum rules say, please keep it kind and keep it clean.

If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.

Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.

If she originally told you that she would return the money, then one would assume she isn’t having a big bash in her garden (excl Coldplay and Kanye west being invited). 

Lots of ifs, buts and maybe being posted on here, where was the original Hen Party being held, were you as a male actually invited? Or were you just chipping in with the cost to help her out, more importantly will you be uninvited from the wedding if you ask for your money back? 
If she has decided to hire a Marquee, Caterer, DJ etc then your £150 will obviously be used to pay towards the overall costs.
What did you actually pay the £150 for in the first place, (accommodation, travel, food, drink etc)? 
And last but not least can you please answer some of the posts on here and put everyone out of their misery.
Good Luck

There will be no answers to any questions.
That is the nature of MSE MMDs.

Sorry, didn’t realise.
Pretty pointless exercise, loads of suggestions or opinions for a Topic where there is so little to go on, and not knowing the outcome.

Yes. If you read this it explains it.

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. 

As I stated earlier, Pretty Pointless exercise, especially when there is so little to go on, thanks for pointing this out to me, I now know not to waste my time with never ending debates with no possible solutions in sight.

kimwp

JJC1956 said:

Pollycat said:

JJC1956 said:

Pollycat said:

JJC1956 said:

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

I paid £150 towards a hen weekend away but the bride-to-be has now decided to have the hen do in her garden instead. Originally she told us she'd return the money, but has now said she's put it towards the cost of her new hen do. While I don't mind paying £30 or so towards it, I think anything more than that is unfair.

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. Remember that behind each dilemma there is a real person so, as the forum rules say, please keep it kind and keep it clean.

If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.

Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.

If she originally told you that she would return the money, then one would assume she isn’t having a big bash in her garden (excl Coldplay and Kanye west being invited). 

Lots of ifs, buts and maybe being posted on here, where was the original Hen Party being held, were you as a male actually invited? Or were you just chipping in with the cost to help her out, more importantly will you be uninvited from the wedding if you ask for your money back? 
If she has decided to hire a Marquee, Caterer, DJ etc then your £150 will obviously be used to pay towards the overall costs.
What did you actually pay the £150 for in the first place, (accommodation, travel, food, drink etc)? 
And last but not least can you please answer some of the posts on here and put everyone out of their misery.
Good Luck

There will be no answers to any questions.
That is the nature of MSE MMDs.

Sorry, didn’t realise.
Pretty pointless exercise, loads of suggestions or opinions for a Topic where there is so little to go on, and not knowing the outcome.

Yes. If you read this it explains it.

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. 

As I stated earlier, Pretty Pointless exercise, especially when there is so little to go on, thanks for pointing this out to me, I now know not to waste my time with never ending debates with no possible solutions in sight.

What was the point of this post?

Pollycat

JJC1956 said:

Pollycat said:

JJC1956 said:

Pollycat said:

JJC1956 said:

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

I paid £150 towards a hen weekend away but the bride-to-be has now decided to have the hen do in her garden instead. Originally she told us she'd return the money, but has now said she's put it towards the cost of her new hen do. While I don't mind paying £30 or so towards it, I think anything more than that is unfair.

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. Remember that behind each dilemma there is a real person so, as the forum rules say, please keep it kind and keep it clean.

If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.

Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.

If she originally told you that she would return the money, then one would assume she isn’t having a big bash in her garden (excl Coldplay and Kanye west being invited). 

Lots of ifs, buts and maybe being posted on here, where was the original Hen Party being held, were you as a male actually invited? Or were you just chipping in with the cost to help her out, more importantly will you be uninvited from the wedding if you ask for your money back? 
If she has decided to hire a Marquee, Caterer, DJ etc then your £150 will obviously be used to pay towards the overall costs.
What did you actually pay the £150 for in the first place, (accommodation, travel, food, drink etc)? 
And last but not least can you please answer some of the posts on here and put everyone out of their misery.
Good Luck

There will be no answers to any questions.
That is the nature of MSE MMDs.

Sorry, didn’t realise.
Pretty pointless exercise, loads of suggestions or opinions for a Topic where there is so little to go on, and not knowing the outcome.

Yes. If you read this it explains it.

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. 

As I stated earlier, Pretty Pointless exercise, especially when there is so little to go on, thanks for pointing this out to me, I now know not to waste my time with never ending debates with no possible solutions in sight.

These Money Moral Dilemmas are posted every week by MSE staff.
They appear in the MSE weekly newsletter and are intended (I guess) to attract new posters to the website. Clickbait, I suppose.

There are always lots of new posters on these threads that are posted on various boards, depending on the type of 'dilemma'.

tfdodo

Bride is WAY out of line. Whether or not she never intended to have the original hen do (and it rather sounds like it) she absolutely should refund most of your money as promised.

LKAY

I'd be angry (inwardly) that she had used your money for an entirely different purpose (it's not her decision to make how to use your money)... but outwardly, be pleasant but firm when  you ask for your £150 back minus a much smaller (£20-£25) contribution towards the garden party. 
I find her actions the utmost in cheek!

CapeTown

bumblebee_tuna said:

Unless Kanye West is playing in her garden, I'd be asking for the money back.

Even if Kanye West was playing I would ask for my money back

Pollycat

CapeTown said:

bumblebee_tuna said:

Unless Kanye West is playing in her garden, I'd be asking for the money back.

Even if Kanye West was playing I would ask for my money back

Especially if Kanye West was playing, I'd ask for my money back. 😃

dw1945

You miserable !!!!!!

ARB1957

A friendly chat to find out what exactly she has planned for the garden party and then agree a refund of a reasonable amount of the £150.  A true friend wouldn't be looking to profit from her friends in this way.

crmism

Looks like your friend took your money by false pretences and is looking to profit from her alternative arrangement. Short of asking her directly when the party’s over, it looks like you’ll have to wave goodbye to your money and maybe wave goodbye to her too.