Money Moral Dilemma: Should I charge my boyfriend rent, even though I don't have a mortgage?

Emerion

When I moved in with my then boyfriend, who had no mortgage, it never occurred to either of us that I should pay rent. I paid half of all bills and that saved him quite a bit of money. It did mean that I saved a lot of money of course, which eventually went towards buying our first house together. If we had split up, he wouldn’t have resented me having gained something from my time there, because it cost him nothing and he’s a nice person. I asked him his opinion on this and he has said that because he had no rent or mortgage to pay, it would have felt money-grabbing to try and profit from a newish relationship, and also stupid because it would  have given me a bad impression of his attitude to me.

Because your boyfriend isn’t paying a mortgage on a house of his own, he’s not securing his own future. So being able to save a bit will give him some security without costing you a penny. 

 I don’t think that him paying you rent would result in a financial claim on your house in the same way that paying half of a mortgage would, but you should check that out if you are thinking of doing this. 

I wouldn’t risk it if you want to keep him. 

JayD

As long as he is paying half of ALL the outgoings - including council tax and any maintenance needed on the property - just what would you be charging him 'rent' towards the cost of him living there? Or are you just being a tad greedy???

Lee131

Ive been in this exact position.  
Me and my gf were living in my house paid off before we met. I never told her my house was paid off. 
She paid 400 a month to me for rent and 200 into the food account.
We intended to buy a house together later. 
I saved her 400 a month in secret and when we started house shopping i explained id got her 400 a month to one side for her to put back towards a deposit so she felt like she was contributing some more and i didn't need it. 
We now have a nice house with a good deposit.   

Sincerelyours

Would you like to charge your boyfriend rent? If you do then you should, but is it right to charge rent  if he is going to be sharing your space rather than having his own?
If he is to have his own room then that is his own space and it would be right for him to pay for that space.
If he is living in your space then it is by your invitation for him to share your space. He would of course be saving money on rent, so that would be a very generous gift. If he respects you, he would want you to know he values your gift and use a good proportion of the money he is saving to make your lives sweeter. 
You would be a saint if you let him stay for free without worrying that part of your attraction is free accommodation - hugely valuable.
What happens if at any stage you want him to move out? 
Have you thought to rent out your place and rent elsewhere with him on a 50:50 basis? When you know each other better you this issue won't be one you have to worry about. The fact you are worried suggests that it's rather early to be opening yourself up in a way that makes you vulnerable. 

Slithery

Brigantia4444 said:

Alternatively, why don't you just do the right and moral thing if you want to live together, and GET MARRIED!!

If he doesn't want to marry you and just wants to shack up for free access to sex-on-demand 'because you love him', then there's your answer: Kick him out or charge him market rent.

It isn't wrong or immoral to live together without being married.

And who said the partner doesn't want to get married? It could be the OP that's against it.

Plenty of couples spend a lifetime together without feeling the need to buy into an outdated religious concept.

Brigantia4444

 Yes, funny how it's an "outdated religious concept" when free money, accommodation or sex are involved for one of the parties.

DontBringBertie

Since moving in to my house, my girlfriend has been watching the TV which I paid for.

Should I make her pay 50% of the original cost?

eastmidsaver

yes i think it is reasonable to charge rent.   maybe not full amount you'd get from a lodger,  but a good deal.

Schwarzwald

I think this is never a matter of mortgage or not, taking this perspective is IMO a very financially uneducated view. Your equity in the house is worth even more than the mortgage.

The property has a market value for rent (say £2k pcm). If you share that property 1:1 with your partner, at least in theory, your partner gets a 50% benefit on the market rent, and your partner needs to acknowledge that (£1k pcm). 

That’s just the factual numbers and rationale view.

The emotional situation might be different and you and your partner might think it doesn’t “feel” right. 

Instead of “charging your partner rent”, maybe phrase it as an ask for “paying for the utilities and food shopping” or similar.

You contribute the house you live in together, your partner contributes the utilities and food that you consume together. 

If you cant have that conversation at all, I might be wary what the futures holds and you might need to ask yourself if you okay having a partner who does not financially take on their fair share.

Scbarns

For me, it would depend on how I had managed to be the outright owner.  If I had spent years scrimping and saving to get up the housing ladder, then I would expect him to pay something (although that could be occasional treats or petrol or other bills rather than rent).  If it had been dropped into my lap via an inheritance, for example, I would certainly feel guilty expecting him to pay rent.  But to be honest, I think he should pay something anyway, without you having to ask for rent - why should he get something for nothing?