Money Moral Dilemma: Should I charge my boyfriend rent, even though I don't have a mortgage?

grandmafromnorth

Is he your lodger or your boyfriend? Why would you charge rent, if he’s your boyfriend, you’ve chosen to live together and you own the house? 

Are you living together as a couple? If the answer is yes, then you cannot and should not charge him rent. 

If the answer is no and you just want a lodger then charge him rent by all means.
you’ve got some serious thinking to do about your relationship.

Ringo90

Brigantia4444 said:

 Yes, funny how it's an "outdated religious concept" when free money, accommodation or sex are involved for one of the parties.

Who says the sex is advantageous only for the boyfriend? The only thing he is he is getting for free here is the accommodation, but how can you say that he's taking advantage of her without even knowing them?
Sharing accommodation, expenses and having sex (and loving each other, as this is the case, I assume) are some of the things that make a couple, not paying a priest to sign a piece of paper to recognise you as married.
It's 2022 for goodness' sake.

Gycraig

Personally would rather live on my own in rented or in a hmo with all the protections that entails than pay half a lovers mortgage when she can kick me out at any time. 

Not worth the risk of being made homeless at any time. 

Half the bills is fair or whatever your usage is whatever is higher. 

Say I get with someone who bought a house the week before I moved I could spend 5-6 plus years paying half there mortgage, they get a property that could have doubled in value, they have another 10-20k equity from payments and I have fk all to show for it, no thanks. 

My mortgage is 450 a month, can’t imagine being cheeky enough to ask a partner who isn’t on the mortgage to pay half while I take all the benefits 

gloriouslyhappy

Gycraig said:

Personally would rather live on my own in rented or in a hmo with all the protections that entails than pay half a lovers mortgage when she can kick me out at any time. 

Not worth the risk of being made homeless at any time. 

Half the bills is fair or whatever your usage is whatever is higher. 

Say I get with someone who bought a house the week before I moved I could spend 5-6 plus years paying half there mortgage, they get a property that could have doubled in value, they have another 10-20k equity from payments and I have fk all to show for it, no thanks. 

My mortgage is 450 a month, can’t imagine being cheeky enough to ask a partner who isn’t on the mortgage to pay half while I take all the benefits 

If you can prove you've paid towards their mortgage, then you have a 'beneficial interest' and will be entitled to a share of the equity. As always, seek proper advice where finances are concerned, not from a chat forum.

gloriouslyhappy

SuseOrm said:

I have absolutely no desire to trap a man I released one back into the wild recently I believe it got eaten by a fox 🦊 

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

JamesyMac

carooley said:

geordie1234 said:

Yes in theory (mates rates with written agreement)- what's the difference if you'd mortgage the place to the max and squandered the money (or invested in some assets, even). You'd expect him to contribute  then, and rightly so.

"Profit" as some peole said is not what's happening- you're currently getting no compensation for sacrificing your space

The sacrificing your space is a very valid point! 

If living with someone you’re supposed to want to spend more time with, is seen as sacrificing space, then you shouldn’t do it in the first place.

Harleyg98

I'd suggest yes.

There may be some legal issue on ownership if you don't charge rent.

If you feel guilty you could always save the money he pays and pay for a holiday out of it.

I'd suggest taking legal advice - your kindness could very well come back to bite you.

primrose_penguin

Schwarzald I said my daughter is well rid of him because she was committed to the relationship, but because he owns the house she had no rights even though she paid half his mortgage + bills etc, which meant she had to leave with nothing to set up a new home for herself. Since found out he has done this before and has already moved on to the next, luckily she has her own home - hope she doesn't move in with him too!!

Polarkitto

This just seems like a really simple thing to me.

Did you ask him to move in with you, or did he just not leave one day? The answer to that is a massive missing context piece IMO.

Assuming you asked him to move in, if he's paying what you believe to be his fair share of the bills and maintenance, asking him to pay rent AFTER he's moved in seems...strange at the least.

I'd suggest you take a good hard look at the relationship and ask yourself if you're looking for reasons to drive him out of your space, or if you value having your partner on hand. If you love him and want him to stay in your home with you and be a couple, but feel as though he is capable of contributing more to bills while still saving himself, then simply ask him.

Short version: Rent is greedy if you WANT him to live with you and fairly share bills/chores and be on hand for cuddles/intimacy. 

Gycraig

gloriouslyhappy said:

Gycraig said:

Personally would rather live on my own in rented or in a hmo with all the protections that entails than pay half a lovers mortgage when she can kick me out at any time. 

Not worth the risk of being made homeless at any time. 

Half the bills is fair or whatever your usage is whatever is higher. 

Say I get with someone who bought a house the week before I moved I could spend 5-6 plus years paying half there mortgage, they get a property that could have doubled in value, they have another 10-20k equity from payments and I have fk all to show for it, no thanks. 

My mortgage is 450 a month, can’t imagine being cheeky enough to ask a partner who isn’t on the mortgage to pay half while I take all the benefits 

If you can prove you've paid towards their mortgage, then you have a 'beneficial interest' and will be entitled to a share of the equity. As always, seek proper advice where finances are concerned, not from a chat forum.

Beneficial interest is also a reason for a partner not to charge rent. 

Either beneficial interest is a thing in which case I wouldn’t want my new ish partner to potentially get a share in my house/what’s the point charging when they will just get it all back if you break up anyway. 

Or it’s not a thing / you get an agreement drawn up in which case it’s not fair on the person who’s moving in having to pay for someone else’s mortgage. 

Ultimately I wouldn’t feel comfortable charging my partner rent in either situations, or paying rent in either situation