Money Moral Dilemma: Should I charge my boyfriend rent, even though I don't have a mortgage?

Happy_saver33

Hello,

There have been some pretty harsh responses here. As for me, it sounds as though you've made some really great choices in your life to have been able to own a house outright, so well done you!

I can think of many reasons why you might be wondering whether it makes sense to charge your bf a bit more than just bills to live there. As several people have said, what would be helpful to know is the motivation behind it, and that's something only you know.

Do you see yourselves living in that house forever, or would you like both of you to build up savings and move on/add another property to your investments? If so, does he share that wish? If all of that is a 'yes', do you see him saving up what you feel is an appropriate amount for his earnings? Or, are you getting wound up by seeing him frittering all his spare money away and not saving anything?

Think hard about the relationship if that is the case. I had sacrificed many 'fun' things to be able to buy my own house in my 20's (with a mortgage), and a bf came along with no savings, but seemed to turn around that attitude and started saving. He earned more than me and assured me he wouldn't dream of taking anything away from me. After a certain time, we married.

A few tricky years later, we are divorced and he demanded a percentage of my house. That demand was successful because I had been totally naive and didn't have a leg to stand on, legally, to defend ownership of my property. That's a hard thing to swallow when it happens, so make sure it's not going to happen to you at some point in the future if you jointly invest.

The moral of the story here is to make sure you are confident that he has the same attitude to money as you. It is the thorn in the side of many relationships.

Mad_Woody

Had this same situation with a partner a couple of years ago. I offered to cover all bills, including council tax, but that wasn't enough, and they wanted another ~£200 a month on top of that. I owned no property at the time, and wanted to save a deposit towards one which would either have been a) my safety net for things going wrong, or b) a secure investment for our future. Probably worth mentioning they worked three days a week out of choice, while I worked five days out of necessity, and they had >£50k in savings, while I had about £5k. 6 months later, having reached a compromise monthly "rent" amount, I found myself single again anyway...

If you really love someone, and want to be with them, earning money from them shouldn't be a factor, especially if you don't need it.

2702

That's fine that you split the bills, but you both benefit equally from this. The property you own needs to be maintained.If the boiler breaks will they pay half? or replace a carpet or redecorate etc. If yes then I would not charge rent, if no then I would.
It is all down to your personal situation.The fact that you asked the question suggests you think he should.

Gycraig

SuseOrm said:

kids9698 said:

It's not right to make money out of anyone you love and who loves you. He pays half the bills which is fair. BEWARE, he can gain an interest in the property if he pays you rent or even if he just does DIY etc. 

Oh right okay in which case I think I own two properties because I’ve rented them and I had to paint and decorate them as well I’m gonna go and get back in touch with the agent and let them know what percentage I will agree to of ownership 🙄

Why are you pulling sarcastic faces, it’s the law not an opinion if a partner pays rent / does up your property without an agreement they can build up beneficial interest 

SuseOrm

Gycraig said:

SuseOrm said:

kids9698 said:

It's not right to make money out of anyone you love and who loves you. He pays half the bills which is fair. BEWARE, he can gain an interest in the property if he pays you rent or even if he just does DIY etc. 

Oh right okay in which case I think I own two properties because I’ve rented them and I had to paint and decorate them as well I’m gonna go and get back in touch with the agent and let them know what percentage I will agree to of ownership 🙄

Why are you pulling sarcastic faces, it’s the law not an opinion if a partner pays rent / does up your property without an agreement they can build up beneficial interest 

It isn’t the law at all and anyway shape or form if you’ve ever been through the family court absolutely everything is it the judges discretion everything.  

HCM2007

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My boyfriend lives with me in a house I own outright. While we split household bills equally between us, he doesn't pay anything to live there. I've been wondering whether to ask him for money for rent - or would that just be greedy?

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. Remember that behind each dilemma there is a real person so, as the forum rules say, please keep it kind and keep it clean.

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Why don't you suggest that you both put the equivalent amount of what the rent would be into a joint account and see how much you can save up. You could use it for a fabulous holiday together

SussexM

When my partner moved in, we agreed it was only fair for him to pay me something so neither of us would ever feel he was using me for free accommodation, he wouldn't have a financial incentive to stay in the relationship, I wouldn't feel resentful that he was unfairly benefiting from my position, and to reflect the fact that he would have to pay for accommodation if we weren't together. We looked to see how much it would cost for him to stay in a house-share locally and both came up with a figure - mine was lower than his and so we split the difference. We shared bills 50/50. When I later reduced my working hours, he increased his contribution (I didn't ask him to) because he was still getting a good deal and he is a decent man. We had a frank conversation from the start about what would happen if we split up and agreed he would never have a financial interest in my home, but I also encouraged him to ensure he would be all right by having a contingency. We have split up, we never argued about the money side, and we are still on good terms.

Ringo90

No. If I was still paying a mortgage on it, I'd certainly ask for or expect him to contribute (not 50/50 because he's not buying the house with me, just to contribute). But if you're not paying anything on it, then I don't see why you should charge him, he's not there as your lodger and if you live in a one bedroom flat you wouldn't be able to take a lodger anyway.
Depending on the situation, it'd be nicer if he offered to pay more bills or even all of them, or if he put the money he is saving from rent towards something for your future together. Maybe you can discuss that.

Let's see it this way: if in the future you had kids and needed a bigger place, you would probably either sell your current place or let it. Would you give him the money you made off of that? I don't think so. Although again, it would be nice if you partially used it towards the expenses of your family, but it depends on the situation, just like the above.

Havealittlefun

Hi,

If you're asking the question then you probably know the answer.  Regardless of your reason for charging rent and your relationship remember once someone starts paying rent you've changed the dynamics and it turns into a tenant/full relationship.  

some relationships can't be broken eg joint bank accounts

christopher1955

Absolutely not. I have been married for 31 next month how could I in the name of love say to her I've paid off the mortgage sweetheart so now I shall charge you rent. Ain't gonna happen and I sincerely hope you and your boyfriend are as happy as we are. Good luck