Money Moral Dilemma: Should I charge my boyfriend rent, even though I don't have a mortgage?

mws08

You’re in a relationship with this person... shouldn’t you be discussing this with that person!?
Do you feel he is a burden to you? Would you feel the same if you were married?
I would never dream of asking such a question of my other half on a forum... I think I would simply air whatever I thought 💭 directly to my other half actually .

whenever

The first thing that is wrong here is that you both have not already discussed it and come to a reasonable arrangement that fits both of your circumstances. This suggests communication issues and maybe you are worried about how he will react which doesn't really bode well for the future relationship. It is vital for there to be balance in a relationship where both parties contribute equally in some way either financially or otherwise depending on what they both have to contribute. Providing a roof over the other person's head without a meaningful contribution in the opposite direction could mean he is mooching off of you and doesn't really like you. It is going to eat at you for good reason and result in a toxic imbalance and lack of trust. If he can discuss it openly and make a reasonable contribution then the relationship has a future but if he's a manbaby who mooches off of his partners then it's adios and don't waste precious time on a relationship which isn't right for you. Other people might not see it this way but this is about what is right for you personally. It's fundamental to have open communication with your partner in order to meet the challenges ahead. There's nothing wrong with needing  balance, reciprocity and to feel you have a future together.

kids9698

It's not right to make money out of anyone you love and who loves you. He pays half the bills which is fair. BEWARE, he can gain an interest in the property if he pays you rent or even if he just does DIY etc. 

kevinsmithies

I'm just thinking of tax implications, if she charges him £300 pm £3600 py. Is that classed as a second income and then taxable ??

YoungBlueEyes

Gycraig said:

YoungBlueEyes said:

Just to play devil’s advocate - 
Through my own hard work/good fortune, and misfortune/inheritance, I am now mortgage free. Why should he live somewhere rent free having spent years pishing his wages away on cars and flash holidays, just because we’ve got together? 

He’s just about tripled my bills, why should I pay for that when I’ve deliberately made my life small and simple? 

How long would you expect him to pay “rent” on a house you own outright ?. 

5 years ? 10 years ? 20 years ? I’d rather live in a hmo than live with a partner who views me as easy money. 

By all means charge him the difference in bills, charging him “rent” on a house you own outright especially for a long period of time will just leave a sour taste in his mouth. 

Are you open to him buying into your house with you or is he just paying rent for the rest of his life ? 

He doesn't pay me rent, it's "house-keeping". He makes a financial contribution to the bills because he has a more expensive life-style.

I'm more long walks and library books, he's sky TV  and powerful wifi. I have a shower once a week and then strip washes, he has a shower most mornings and a bath every night. Etc etc etc.

He offered to contribute to the jump in bills and I agreed. The difference in single person's council tax and half of the full rate doesn't cover it. This'll be for as long as we live here. And no, I'm not letting him buy into my house. 

gekkobabe

I too am in a similar situation, I own my own home,  met a guy, he moved in, didn't pay me any money towards household bills or anything for 2 years. I then lost my job told him he's going to have to pay towards bills, he begrudgingly pays me £500pm, however, for me the relationship is pretty dead as we just tolerate each other, sad but true. (have to share bed tho. As no other rooms, but nothing intimate for last 4yrs) 
The biggest problem I have is I only earn 500pm as I can only work part time now due to an injury, he's on lots more. I can't kick him out because I need his "contribution' to afford to live there myself as because I own my own home I'm not entitled to anything from the benefits office, the only discount I would get is 1/3rd off council tax, not enough to live off believe me, been there done that. Got t-shirt.
I wish I could get rid of him because he makes me so unhappy, but I cannot live without his money, WHEN we do split up I don't want him to have any claim on my house, its mine, I still do everything in it, pay all the bills, his money barely pays for food and such,  so,
my question is, if I use a rent book does that mean he has claim to my house if we split up,  when I used to rent I didn't have claim on that person's house when I moved out. Isn't it in principle the same thing??? 

SuseOrm

kids9698 said:

It's not right to make money out of anyone you love and who loves you. He pays half the bills which is fair. BEWARE, he can gain an interest in the property if he pays you rent or even if he just does DIY etc. 

Oh right okay in which case I think I own two properties because I’ve rented them and I had to paint and decorate them as well I’m gonna go and get back in touch with the agent and let them know what percentage I will agree to of ownership 🙄

SuseOrm

@gekkobabe owning your own house would not prevent you from claiming benefits so my suggestion is that you contact the benefits office or CAB explain that you are basically in an abusive relationship,  I know is not actually but that’s the only way you’re gonna be able to get any advice out of them and get them to do the calculation as to what you would be entitled to if he wasn’t there….  that is what’s currently stopping you from getting any help from the state.  Then when you have your finances in order you can give him his marching orders.  

gekkobabe

@SuseOrm
Thanks for that, however before he moved in I asked benefits office and cab for help in paying bills etc, they told me because I had more than £16k in savings I am not entitled to anything, no financial support at all.
the savings I have is my inheritance from my mums passing for my retirement and possibly towards a new home closer to family one day,
So unless I am totally destitute and have no income at all, lose my house and any savings I have I will not be entitled to anything.
I'm stuck I think.  

Tinker0880

I have been with partner for almost 10 years, he outright owns the house we live in and I pay half for all bills/food shopping etc however I don’t pay “rent” and he has never asked me to, over all I contribute over £600 a month, which includes finance on our new kitchen, we take it in turns to buy food if we go out,  however with this in mind there is house exactly the same as ours on our estate with a room to rent with own bathroom, all other rooms are shared, all bills included for £400 a month, so personally I would be better off living separately and in my mind I pay my fair share and spilt everything equally, I will also add that when we first got together and he moved in with me in my rental property, he never contributed to any utilities or rent, he paid for food shop every fortnight, so I guess it’s a personal choice on whether you feel he should pay “rent” as such.