Money Moral Dilemma: Should I charge my boyfriend rent, even though I don't have a mortgage?

iyhr

Why would you want a boyfriend who lives with you and hasn't OFFERED a fairer deal?
In lots of couples I know, one pays the mortgage, the other pays the bills and/or food. You don't have a mortgage but are still providing the home you both live in.
If he pays you rent, he will have entitlements - much better for you if he pays bills and/or food.
Perhaps you could work out what half the going rent is and he could pay whatever equals that
and split the rest?
Look at the wider picture - what might happen in the future that this could affect.
You're not his mother - treat him like a man and let him pay his way fairly.
If he doesn't want to, you might be better to CHANGE him rather than CHARGE him!

Marvel1

Let's go with fixed bills that you would/may pay alone:

TV licence
Broadband service
TV service

Council tax let's say to make easy, 2 people £100, 25% discount is £75.  So now it's £50 as you split it.

Your saving alone from above.

neilmorgan

NO!
The house itself isn't costing you anything so why charge your partner? They won't like that. Just share the bills.
If he pays rent you pay tax. That tax can go into holidays and social outings instead.
If he pays rent he gets a rent book. If you split up he gets to carry on living there.

squirrel59

I will be respectful, but the truth is my jaw dropped.  The short answer is' Yes, it would be greedy'. Not to mention incomprehensibly unloving. If he's your lodger, charge him rent. If he's your boyfriend and you still want more money out of him  then ask yourself whether you actually care about this guy.

YoungBlueEyes

neilmorgan said:

NO!
The house itself isn't costing you anything so why charge your partner? They won't like that. Just share the bills.
If he pays rent you pay tax. That tax can go into holidays and social outings instead.
If he pays rent he gets a rent book. If you split up he gets to carry on living there.

Just to play devil’s advocate - 
Through my own hard work/good fortune, and misfortune/inheritance, I am now mortgage free. Why should he live somewhere rent free having spent years pishing his wages away on cars and flash holidays, just because we’ve got together? 

He’s just about tripled my bills, why should I pay for that when I’ve deliberately made my life small and simple? 

REJP

If he pays half the bills presumably he pays half the council tax?
You are not paying rent, why should he?
Once he starts paying rent he gets rights you might not like if your relationship breaks up.   Sorry to say that you are not thinking this through.  You make him a lodger, how do you think he would feel about that?

carooley

I’m in this situation. My partner owns his home and I moved in. He does not charge me rent nor do I pay towards regular bills. I consider myself very fortunate here. He does earn significantly more than me and I have asked! However we are building a future and I put more than the equivalent of my previous rent and bill cost into a joint savings account and from here we take our holidays, have a fallback for the unexpected and out of the norm spends things like fixing the garden fence, gigs etc etc.
It’s about contributing to a life together and on this topic conversations are had. You should ask ‘what’s in it for me?’ but the answer does not have to be a financial one, I do significantly more household stuff and most all the garden maintenance, social organising……... Life should be better with a partner, at a minimum your relationship shouldn’t cause you financial harm but beyond that enjoy your good fortune. Well done on having your home!  
Do have a conversation about money with him though, if you’re asking then it’s on your mind. In my experience money resentment has been a symptom of larger issues and not having each other’s backs and different life expectations in general.   

geordie1234

Yes in theory (mates rates with written agreement)- what's the difference if you'd mortgage the place to the max and squandered the money (or invested in some assets, even). You'd expect him to contribute  then, and rightly so.

"Profit" as some peole said is not what's happening- you're currently getting no compensation for sacrificing your space

Afourteen

No, you shouldn't charge him 'Rent' unless you intend to 'regularise' your relationship. Even then why? unless you intend to move to a different residence in which case it's savings towards that bill.
When I lived with my G/F we had a 'household' account which we both paid into equal amounts and all bills was paid out of that. On separating we paid off all the outstanding bills and the remainder we split equally, along with the household goods.  

zsolmanz

geordie1234 said:

you're currently getting no compensation for sacrificing your space

Don't people willingly sacrifice their space in relationships because the proximity is preferable?

I vote for three things:
1. Don't charge "rent", it turns your relationship into a transaction
2. Do explain that upkeep (inc. bills and maintenance) costs money and that he needs to make a commensurate contribution
3. Do make a plan for a future property and set the expectation that you will each pay half, so he needs to start saving for a deposit to match yours (seperate to point 2) (this should cut down on the frivolous spending and emphasise that the current house is something you've worked+saved hard for).

I can't comment on what other people have said about staking a claim on the house in the event of a breakup; it doesn't seem at all reasonable to me that someone could save a small fortune in living costs and also try to sweep the rug from under you but I've heard of divorces going that way.