Money Moral Dilemma: Should I charge my boyfriend rent, even though I don't have a mortgage?

SuseOrm

MalMonroe said:

theartfullodger said:

If (presumably ) he's not even offered  "rent"  he's clearly not worthy of being anyone's partner, regardless of gender, IMHO.  (That you then politely decline is a different matter).

However, beware, partners who do contribute (somehow..) have the right to claim so sort of interest in the property - see..
https://england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/relationship_breakdown/housing_rights_of_cohabiting_sole_homeowners/occupation_rights_if_one_partner_is_the_sole_owner

Many, including me, would suggest regularising  this sort of relationship over the property through a solicitor. 

Obviously relationships never go bad: Artful, 2 divorces, 3 marriages.. 

Best wishes, hope it works out.

"If (presumably ) he's not even offered  "rent"  he's clearly not worthy of being anyone's partner, regardless of gender, IMHO" 

Gosh. That's hard. 

Two divorces, three marriages. Wonder why?  

It’s no real difference from doing the check dance at the beginning of the first date I would always offer to pay half and I would always expect for that offer to be declined.  I think it paints a picture and gives you an indication as to the thought process behind how people see money.  

hazyjo

SuseOrm said:

I think it depends on where you see your future with this person if he’s somebody that you wouldn’t mind handing over 50% of your money to right now then there seems little point in charging him rent but he should be insuring your lives are very comfortable i.e. he pays every time you go out for a meal theatre etc.  
if you’re not 100% certain that you would happily handover half of everything that you own then you probably need a more formal arrangement and put it under the rent a room agreement.  

You can't use the scheme if you're sharing a bed/in a relationship.

Really not sure what you mean about 50%. Why would he be entitled to that? Or are you saying if they get married?

SuseOrm

hazyjo said:

SuseOrm said:

I think it depends on where you see your future with this person if he’s somebody that you wouldn’t mind handing over 50% of your money to right now then there seems little point in charging him rent but he should be insuring your lives are very comfortable i.e. he pays every time you go out for a meal theatre etc.  
if you’re not 100% certain that you would happily handover half of everything that you own then you probably need a more formal arrangement and put it under the rent a room agreement.  

You can't use the scheme if you're sharing a bed/in a relationship.

Really not sure what you mean about 50%. Why would he be entitled to that? Or are you saying if they get married?

HMRC you don’t ask if you’re shagging your lodger …. 

Exactly if they got married that would be the situation I always say you should never date anybody that you wouldn’t marry but that’s just me.  

theartfullodger

MalMonroe said:

"If (presumably ) he's not even offered  "rent"  he's clearly not worthy of being anyone's partner, regardless of gender, IMHO

Gosh. That's hard. 

Two divorces, three marriages. Wonder why?  

Thank you for your kind words. Best wishes to all.

gingercordial

In an ideal world he would take the amount he'd otherwise spend on rent, and save it so that if things go well with the relationship he can make a contribution to a new, joint family home together, or if things don't go well he has his own safety net/deposit.  Hard to force a grown adult to do that though.

YoungBlueEyes

Same as the situ I'm in really.

I own my wee house. Met a fellah, he moved in. All the bills are in my name (except council tax as that's joint now). He pays me 'house-keeping' every week. (Aye I know, and we do actually call it house-keeping too ha haa!)

We've never sat down and worked out if it equates to half the bills, or if I'm profiting from him or if he's getting a bargain. He earns plenty and I don't so it's sharesies really. 

Works for us. 

TheJP

Gycraig said:

TheJP said:

Yes perfectly reasonable to charge rent, you paid for the house why should he pocket money that he would otherwise spend on rent elsewhere.

In theory, probably not the reality when a year or so from now the partner wants to move out and is able to claim beneficial interest due to paying rent. 

Half of all bills is already making money off your partner 

Not if you have an agreement in place.

benedictadams

wonder if the person asking the question would be happy if her partner owned the house and then was charging her rent,

As people have already said splitting the bills 50/50 is already saving her money as the energy bills are not doubled if you get a housemate/ lodger/ partner

TheJP

benedictadams said:

wonder if the person asking the question would be happy if her partner owned the house and then was charging her rent,

As people have already said splitting the bills 50/50 is already saving her money as the energy bills are not doubled if you get a housemate/ lodger/ partner

Not doubled but they will increase.

Mimi123456

I wouldn’t ask him to pay rent. To be honest if I lived with a partner who owned the place and he asked me to pay rent i would not take it well 😅 if I have to pay anyway I’d rather have my own rented place

But I think the bf should cover most bills. Not 50/50. Just out of courtesy given he’s saving so much on rent.