Alchemausterity II

redofromstart

Thinking of you all, and sending much love.

savingholmes

Hi Alchemilla

Unless you want to return to work for you - I wouldn't be going back tomorrow. If they don't have longer compassionate leave I'd ask the doctor for a sick note. I'd certainly ask for some adjustments on a temporary basis. I appreciate that may feel too hard to do too. Hugs whatever you decide.

Glad the guinea pigs had fun. Hopefully they were a good distraction.

Watty1

Another one shocked by the return to work.  You may crave to get back to some sort of "normal" but that is going to take a while. If you don't have the option for compassionate leave then please consider a sick note and sick leave.    I know any option is going to be hard to do and sending love for you anyway.

Karmacat

Good suggestions there.  When my sister suddenly found herself in your situation a while ago, it was the start of a holiday between term times, and she worked at a private school, so it was a good long time.  But even so, the school made allowances with things like duties and assemblies and all the "extras" that teachers are actually compelled to do.  

redofromstart

I think it really does depend where you work as to what support is available. Statutory support is virtually non existent, public sector great with a 'bereavement' note that GPS are not supposed to issue but generally do, so it can feel like the pressure is on to go back. I hope you have the option of doing whatever is right for you and the children. 

Hope his pensions give you some support too - worth an ask if you haven't already. Most offers me kind of spousal benefit, and may have some child cover if defined benefit.

savingholmes

Hope 2023 is a much better year for you as you all grieve together and come to terms with your loss. I hope you get surprised by joy and not just waves of grief and allow yourself to laugh again.

Alchemilla

apple_muncher said:

Dear Alchemilla, I am shocked that you are going back to work tomorrow. And concerned. Is that what you want to do? Hugs xx

Hello. Yes my new job is WFH. I did my talk, caught up with a couple of people and did admin. 
I'm only doing two days this week. 

Alchemilla

Karmacat said:

A talk?  Whaaat?  Surely that can't be expected of you?  Do "they" know what's happened?  Any offers of help?  Even if you don't ask for help, you might conceivably ask for some consideration, possibly.  I was thinking of you early this morning, wondering how you were.  Thinking of you still xx

I volunteered. Honestly work have been amazing, telling me to work when I want and do the tasks I want xxx

Alchemilla

Thanks all for your thoughts ❤️

Pension-wise I have made all the applications and ditto life insurance.

I am so glad we listened to Dave Ramsey and bought level term life insurance. 

I also applied for and got bereavement benefit. 

I'm doing Dry January after a little more wine than was sensible over Christmas.

Today I have a massive list of jobs to do. The kids are back to school tomorrow, it is going to be challenging for DD2.

My Mum took the opportunity to kick me while I'm down. She did the same when I miscarried in 2010. I don't think she can bear not being the centre of attention.

greent

^^ Sorry to hear that, Al. I sometimes wonder why some people ever became parents (I have a very toxic mum) - though without them we would obviously not exist..

Sending strength and love and so many best wishes to you and the children xx