Alchemausterity II

savingholmes

Sounds like a weight will be lifted come tomorrow am.

Alchemilla

I wrote this on 31st

Today I'm an ex host. Our guests arrived at the end of April, Mum and son (11).

On arrival she complained about things she deemed not clean enough (I was still cleaning as they arrived a day early), she demanded a loo brush, a shower squeegee, a shower caddy and better wifi that worked while she was in bed. She then started a load of washing. I was a little taken aback.

On our first trip by car she demanded I stop the car every ten minutes as she "vomit". When we reached our destination (late) I bought travel sickness pills. Three weeks in she had gained a job, worked three days and given up because it was too hard. Her son was rough with our junior dog, he had to be told multiple times. She did a lot of batch cooking, always borscht. She'd said before she arrived that she ate everything except paprika and mushrooms. This was extended to most veg and her son would not eat curry, veg, pasta or any veg I cooked as he didn't like them from my cooker.

She used the washing machine endlessly, and the tumble dryer until I intervened. She didn't trouble herself with washing up, and gradually took all her meals in her room, spilling tea and borscht on my wood floor and through the hall and my office to their shared, huge, ensuite room.

In May her ex and the little boy's father died, killed in action. She planned to go back for his funeral and also to make sure her son received a war pension. She proposed she left him with us, but I didn't feel this was appropriate as we're not foster carers. This was a good choice since she went for three days and stayed a month. She returned with her son in June and announced she didn't want a job, but to do "Coorses". These turned out to be two mornings a week. While she had been away, the primary school contacted me to say no application to secondary school for September had been made. I'd sent her the link no less than four times before the bereavement, her English is excellent, I applied for his school place myself. There was now a waiting list. We had a "welfare" visit from a local charity, employed by the council. After two hours of monologue from our guest, the charity worker emerged, saying she didn't need to speak to me. It turned out her advice had been to find another host in a city and to homeschool her son. The outcome was our Mum guest shitposting about how we had promised her a remote job, a school place for her son (which he had at the time in Y6) and how uncivilised it was in the country. She forgot we were fb friends. No one offered to re host her.

In July a job came up at the local school, I encouraged her to apply as it might help her get the coveted school place. She did, and got the job. I then suggested that as she was unhappy here and had lots of complaints, she should look into renting. I suggested that if she saved her UC (we were paying for food, diesel, utilities) she might be moved in and settled before the start of Autumn term. "But I have no furniture" don't worry, I said. Between recycle shops and donations we can manage.

Next up she planned a trip to Ukraine again, twice in two months. I told her "support" worker if she did that I'd consider my hosting job complete. Our guest changed her mind. Term ended, she found a place to rent and put down a deposit. I spent August fetching furniture for her. She spent August lying on her bed on the internet/phone, never bothering to get her son cooked food, exercise or play.

My Dad, husband and son took her son for walks, fishing, to a trampoline place.

Today I dropped her at her cute, fully furnished cottage in walking distance of school and work. She starts work tomorrow. 

Low points, being interrupted while I WFH, her overwhelming selfishness and monologueing, her neglect (in my eyes) of her son. 

High points -his face when he saw his birthday cake, him getting into the chosen secondary school at the last minute, and if I'm honest - being free of the constant demands. It was 4 months and felt like a lifetime. I'm glad we did it but I'm in awe of those who are doing it a second time.

Jellytotts

I'm in complete awe that you did it at all.  I can't even bear my own family staying with me let alone strangers.  Such a shame that your generosity was stomped over.

Alchemilla

Jellytotts said:

I'm in complete awe that you did it at all.  I can't even bear my own family staying with me let alone strangers.  Such a shame that your generosity was stomped over.

I can't abide family staying either!!

Much of the stomping was her chaotic upbringing I think, plus I think that 'sponsor' translates into Cyrillic languages as "slave" 

Alchemilla

Today for the first time in forever I have no commitments and no one in the house except me and the animals. Daughterofsatan is asleep on my foot and Puppylove asleep on the other sofa.

What to do?!

Karmacat

Jellytotts said:

I'm in complete awe that you did it at all.  I can't even bear my own family staying with me let alone strangers.  Such a shame that your generosity was stomped over.

Totally agree!  

Alchemilla said:

Today for the first time in forever I have no commitments and no one in the house except me and the animals. Daughterofsatan is asleep on my foot and Puppylove asleep on the other sofa.

What to do?!

You should absolutely brew some good tea or coffee and put your feet up.  When Daughterofsatan allows you to move 😺  xx

apple_muncher

Enjoy the peace and quiet x

savingholmes

Glad you are through the other side. Allow yourself time to rest and recover.

Fortune's guests were better behaved than yours but she still needed to reclaim her home and life after their stay.

Alchemilla

I must look at @Fortune_Smiles diary.

Going out for lunch today with children and parents. May be challenging

Alchemilla

I ordered each person in the family a thick, wool aran jersey and three arrived but two didn't. 

The post office says £57 duty needs paid...the company would like me to pay this myself and collect them then claim the money back from them. Is this OK?