Mortgage free in Forever Home :-)

KajiKita

Just making a list for this evening:

- Water the spring flowering plants I put in last weekend
- boil three eggs for Mr KK’s and my lunches tomorrow 
- Change sheets and take washing down to the cellar to put on on Friday morning 
- Find card, wrap present and pack for postage the book etc for my dad’s birthday next week, so I can post it tomorrow 
- Doing one of my twice weekly teeth ‘bleachings’
- Prep breakfast for work on Friday am

KK

KajiKita

I've been reading back over my diary, especially the events of last year. It has shown me quite how unpleasant and tough last year was, with so many bereavements (people and pets), losing my job via toxic boss the way I did (even reading back on what happened, I still can't make sense of why he did what he did - in many ways it doesn't matter to me any more, but it makes me wonder what external forces were impinging on him ... I know I will never know and I am at peace with that), the weird non-job at the medical devices company and Mr KK's health issues through the year. 

It's taken a while but I think I am slowly, finally surfacing from all of it. My friend who broke her femur is doing a gong bath in November (the first she's done in a very long time) - I have decided to go to support her and I am taking a friend who I think will enjoy it. I am hoping that dropping the PC will make space for me to go to a local garden club meetings on a monthly basis. I have quite consciously ended a connection I had with my ex Buddhist teacher in Japan as I didn't enjoy my calls with him and when we came to the ending conversation he said something about 'trying to keep a mix of people that he wouldn't normally want to mix with in his life' - made me feel like some kind of 'specimen' and that I had 100% made the right decision!

I think my relationship with my parents has finally shifted into something a bit less confrontational, tense and unsatisfying. This is helping a lot. 

This might be an odd thing to say, but I want my aim for life to be: that things / events / doings / books I read / people etc. bring me joy (of all kinds) or at worst are neutral on my heart, soul and energy.

This 1000 miles away from core MSE-ness, but I am aware how much support I got from people here over the last 18 months and I suppose this is a kind of 'thank you' and a sort of repayment of your efforts?  

KK

Cheery_Daff

I don't think that's too far from MSE-ness at all! Making sure you are getting joy from things definitely counts. Either you want to get your money's worth, or you are enjoying things that are free - MSE either way, and avoids spending on other things to cheer you up! 😀

It has rather been a rollercoaster of a year, hasn't it?

KajiKita

Cheery_Daff said:

I don't think that's too far from MSE-ness at all! Making sure you are getting joy from things definitely counts. Either you want to get your money's worth, or you are enjoying things that are free - MSE either way, and avoids spending on other things to cheer you up! 😀

It has rather been a rollercoaster of a year, hasn't it?

It has but at least it looks like it will end on an up! 😊

Done all of my last this evening apart from the watering - I will try and remember to do that tomorrow. 

Also had an attempt at claiming the mileage I’m due … unsuccessfully … the system only wants to pay me 12p per mile! 😳🙄😂 I have raised a ‘what the what’ ticket with the HR bods behind the system … 🤞 that something comes of it … 🤷‍♀️

KK

PennysIntoPounds

Oh very bloody Buddhist of him, what a disgrace to the zen! Good for you for making a self aware decision to not put your time and energy into a relationship that is minus rewarding. 

I also think your life aims are absolutely mse. Everyone is ultimately striving to be able to feel they have a secure, peaceful, and enjoyable life and state of wellbeing 

beanielou

Very not Buddhist. What a twit. 

KajiKita

Thanks @PennysIntoPounds, @beanielou, it helps to hear that. I met him when I was very vulnerable, being manipulated by another sociopath in my life (there have been a string of them!), who was my first Buddhist teacher. Whilst the guy in Japan helped me leave my first teacher which I needed to do, he then 'decided' to be my new teacher (I wasn't sure) and because I wanted the training and he was my only visible route into it, I gritted my teeth and went with it. 

I think the life lesson for me here, is if I ever find myself starting to 'grit my teeth', I need to stop and really look at whether what I am walking into is worth it or not. It may be for a short time but not for any kind of long term commitment. 

KK

KajiKita

Had a frustrating morning … There are two young women in the front office (one door away from me) who don’t have enough work to do or fear of consequences of not delivering what they do have to do, as every day there is loud music and raucous singing. It was ridiculously loud yesterday afternoon (time warp, wham and queen … 🙄) and it’s getting beyond. I’m going to have to speak to their manager when she gets back next week. They do this, along with lots of cackling giggles every time their boss is out of the room. I don’t like being a ‘snitch’ but it’s really affecting my concentration now and it’s affecting my quality engineer who is in the same office as me … Plus in all honesty, it’s just SO unprofessional. None of the shopfloor team would get away with behaving like this … 😡 

Once I got away from the nonsense, I had a productive afternoon 😊
- posted my dad’s birthday parcel 😊
- enquired about how to go about getting some images printed in the post office which has a digital printing, photographic concession as there is a local garden society show I might enter the photography section of … 😉
- banked the wayleave cheque at Nwide - the chap behind the counter smiled and said everyone had been doing that this week so they must have all come out together 🤷‍♀️ That deposit will help bolster our joint house savings a little 👏😊
- did a teeny food shop for my lunch and sides for dinner tonight 🍲 
- queried why the finance subcommittee summary that I worked hard(!) to draft yesterday hadn’t been sent out by the PC clerk … 🙄 Received a just-to-me thank you for the Chair for checking this … <sigh>
- cleaned the bathroom and the loo 
- got a load of washing out on the line and back in fairly dry in spite of what appeared to be no breeze and barely any sun 🌞 🤷‍♀️😊
- sent a long chatty WhatsApp to my very serious gardening friend who sends me new scientists after she’s read them ❤️
- meals list for next week written with Mr KK and Toscos shop organised 👏
- confirmed with hairdresser where we are meeting tomorrow (he flits between a hired seat in a salon and a small cutting studio in his garden) 

I was going to dust the living room but ran out of time. 🤷‍♀️😉

KK

savingholmes

Well done on the parish council resignation. 

Sympathies on all the carp you've dealt with this last year. I think reading back over diaries can be helpful - although I ended up blubbing reading back just over emails from a particular period of my life so yes sometimes it's also read with caution. It can help with perspective though too - as there are definitely times when I've felt personally victimised and later discovered there was a group of us feeling the same way so it was less personal than it felt if that makes sense.

Eek to the cat bringing mice in and then throwing up. I can't allow my cat a cat flap for that reason and rarely leave a door open. I used to get it to come in a window as it wasn't capable of jumping and bringing something in its teeth in at the same time.... 

beanielou

Enjoy your weekend.