Mortgage free in Forever Home :-)

f0xh0les

Is there a military themed weekend event near your parents house?  Then you could rock up in an armoured vehicle and have no gear of 'incoming' ....
We have a tank driving ... erm...  racecourse?... playground?... facility?.....  Experience centre in our county.  Could you bribe him with similar on the way back? 
I feel your pain, DH is the same with his parents 48 hours is too long in his book.  Mr KK probably can't bear to see how they act toward you. My DH reverts to stroppy 15 year old within 100km of his sister.  It is amazing to observe how his whole demeanour changes near his family.  
You are in control, you can go when you like, you can leave when you like. They are not going to change now, but (and it is a big fat w0bbly but) they are no longer able to hurt you if you can accept you will never be whatever it is they wanted you to 'be', and they are not going to turn into the loving, proud, fabulous parents you deserved. 
You turned out well enough to care how they are getting on.  

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.  

You Rock- we can see it. It shines through KK

KajiKita

beanielou said:

If I was nearer I would come with you. As the buffer. 

Oh Beanie, that is so very sweet of you. Thank you x

KK

KajiKita

f0xh0les said:

Is there a military themed weekend event near your parents house?  Then you could rock up in an armoured vehicle and have no gear of 'incoming' ....
We have a tank driving ... erm...  racecourse?... playground?... facility?.....  Experience centre in our county.  Could you bribe him with similar on the way back? 
I feel your pain, DH is the same with his parents 48 hours is too long in his book.  Mr KK probably can't bear to see how they act toward you. My DH reverts to stroppy 15 year old within 100km of his sister.  It is amazing to observe how his whole demeanour changes near his family.  
You are in control, you can go when you like, you can leave when you like. They are not going to change now, but (and it is a big fat w0bbly but) they are no longer able to hurt you if you can accept you will never be whatever it is they wanted you to 'be', and they are not going to turn into the loving, proud, fabulous parents you deserved. 
You turned out well enough to care how they are getting on.  

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.  

You Rock- we can see it. It shines through KK

Nah, it was more that his best mate might have wanted to go to a big militaria show deep down south. Best mate doesn’t want to go, so now Mr KK is prepared to go on the dates we said last night and my mother has confirmed that we should book accommodation …

I’m going to try really, really hard to not rise to my father’s baiting and rude comments about me being vegetarian - the usual flash point. Mr KK and I will prepare a list of topics between us to ask about or discuss with them. That always helps. 

Thank you for the cheer leading ❤️

KK

PennysIntoPounds

Turn up with some fake blood on your mouth and say you couldn't possibly eat any more meat as you've just ripped the head off a passing squirrel

Brie

beanielou said:

If I was nearer I would come with you. As the buffer. 

I'm sure we could form a nice posse to really buff things up!!!

SandyShores

Family - they always seem to know what buttons to press.  I like this phrase from Mel Robbins/Jefferson Fisher: Just because they throw a ball doesn't mean I have to swing. You just let the pitch go by. Nobody can make me say anything that I don't want to say the same way. I don't have to respond even if they send a zinger at me.

They also talk about breathing, letting your shoulders go down and relaxing.  Easier said than done I know, but now I don't even try and connect life is much easier with my difficult family.  They ask me about a difficult subject, I take a breath, smile and talk about something else.  Its a bit like dealing with a toddler - if the toddler says why have you got wrinkles, its funny, you don't hold it against them.

skint_spice

Oh goodness, it sounds like it will be a relief to get the visit over with!

LadyWithAPlan

KajiKita said:

LadyWithAPlan said:

PennysIntoPounds said:

Aw glad Chloe is enjoying her life

I think 'thongs' for flip-flops is an Aussie/NZ thing, I know the term having worked in NHS where there are loads of Aussies and New Zealanders. Obviously much hilarity ensues every time they say it and someone hasn't heard it before!

All this talk about wool and tapestry makes me nervous. I enjoy looking at others work but am leaving it there.

#confused .... Why? I think you are going to have to explain this one .... 

KK

Needles, making a mess of the wool, accidentally stabbing myself...

Brie said:

beanielou said:

If I was nearer I would come with you. As the buffer. 

I'm sure we could form a nice posse to really buff things up!!!

Can we swap buffer duties, my father also drives me nuts constantly questioning my life choices from decades ago .. I do my best to breathe and chant..

SandyShores said:

Family - they always seem to know what buttons to press.  I like this phrase from Mel Robbins/Jefferson Fisher: Just because they throw a ball doesn't mean I have to swing. You just let the pitch go by. Nobody can make me say anything that I don't want to say the same way. I don't have to respond even if they send a zinger at me.

They also talk about breathing, letting your shoulders go down and relaxing.  Easier said than done I know, but now I don't even try and connect life is much easier with my difficult family.  They ask me about a difficult subject, I take a breath, smile and talk about something else.  Its a bit like dealing with a toddler - if the toddler says why have you got wrinkles, its funny, you don't hold it against them.

This is very sensible advice SS - we do all play by the polite rules.. 

KajiKita

@LadyWithAPlan, you’ve made me smile with that as your reaction reminds me of one of my friends. She has a very similar lack of faith in herself 😊

Have a look at the below. I don’t think anyone could ‘stab’ themselves with a hook this big 😊😉 (biro just added for scale)



KK

Watty1

Having only ever made a mess with wool despite the efforts of a grandma and a very talented knitter mum I would not lay bets on an injury even with a crochet hook that large.