Mortgage free in Forever Home :-)

KajiKita

Weights and squats done before going to work this morning and got a lot done. Feel like my mojo is returning a bit. 
Hit my 8K steps at 8.7 😉

Had an NSD today 😊

Chucked a thread up on my FB page yesterday asking for cheerful, positive, even ethereal reading recommendations. Mentioned it to a colleague in work this morning and she immediately lent me a book she thought I would enjoy that she’d lent to someone else and just had returned 😊

QM33 has been going better this week - should be £12.## or so to the mortgage tomorrow. Pleased with that 😊

Mr KK is still off work …. He reckons he will go back to work on Monday. I doubt it ….. 🤷‍♀️

Hoping for a quiet weekend, at home, so I get to have a sensibly paced time and some garden head space as the forecast is meant to be kind. I MUST do serious budget catching up and YNABing this weekend - I am sooooo behind atm 😢

I have clean sheets and hope to sleep like a tree tonight 😊

KK

KajiKita

Oh, mildly frustrating, the grocery shop this week came in quite high compared to what I was aiming for. We have bin bags and toiletries on that which should last a while though. 

KajiKita

Woken up with my sinuses feeling like they are full of lead …. Ugh ….

£12.50 sent from QM33 to our mortgage 😊

Off out for more tyres shortly - I’m starting to think my wheels are breeding …. 🤔😂

KK

KajiKita

Got the tyre (£69 all in for a midrange) - they told me I would be waiting at least an hour as they were triple booked this morning …. I was in and out in 30 minutes 😊 Gave me time to finish my 6th book of the year 😊

KK

KajiKita

Just a post on its own, and then I shall blatter on ….

Mr KK is still struggling and not back at work. He is getting periods of pain through the day, especially in the mornings - I’m guessing something to do with gravity acting on the kidney stone? And he’s constantly exhausted - unsurprisingly. As he’s self employed he’s not getting any pay and he’s utterly frustrated as he’s normally so active. I’m trying not to worry but it’s grim watching him go through all this. 

My uncle, my dad’s next youngest brother has Parkinson’s and has recently had surgery for lung cancer. The surgery - I think they went down his throat - has further damaged his ability to speak and swallowing ability and after several weeks in hospital he has come out completely unable to communicate, walk and very stooped. My aunt, who absolutely adores him, is fighting hard for him to eat, to have speech therapy, physiotherapist whilst the medicos are talking hospices etc. It is absolutely heart breaking. I also adore this man - after my grandpa died (his dad) I realised that he was the only other member of the family who loved me unconditionally. He has a wry and dry sense of humour within a truly compassionate and non judgemental view of the world and people. 

I googled end stage Parkinson’s and I sounds to me like the medicos are probably right, but any talk of that type sends my aunt absolutely hysterical with rage, fear and pre-emptive grief. I would like my uncle to have a gentle peaceful eol process, but I guess it’s not my place to interfere and all I can do is keep sending my aunt daily texts saying how much I love them that she never replies to. I get the not replying btw, after what I have been through recently with Mr KK, which is barely 10% of what she has been battling with for months and months - you just don’t have the headspace, the words, the energy or the time to communicate very often. But in her last call to me early last week, she mentioned how damn lonely the whole thing is. 

I am so very, very grateful that we went down to London to see them, before he got this sick / incapacitated last October. He was weak, slow and not very intelligible but he was still him enough that we enjoyed each other’s company. 

Enough. This is hard. I’ve put it down and now I need to look after me for a bit.

I will go and knock over my cleaning chores and then get out in my garden! 

KK

Tescodealqueen

Just wanted to send hugs xxxx

KajiKita

Tescodealqueen said:

Just wanted to send hugs xxxx

Thank you TDQ, much appreciated.

KK x

KajiKita

Got my cleaning done, mostly. Couldn’t clean the bath as by the time I got to it, it had been requisitioned to soak a head gasket for the 1939 Bedford …. 😂 I will have to catch that up tomorrow 😉

Wrangled the Tesco shop, though the vegan bacon is quite short dated so I need to break that down into two portions and freeze them tomorrow. 

In between, spent a couple hours in the garden. Got the bean pole structure straightened up and secured with new string so it’s not in danger of falling through the greenhouse anymore. Pruned all the roses, quite hard as they all went bonkers in the hot summer last year. Also, chopped back the purple berberis that is trying to take over the old scrub bed. 

9.5K steps
Did a bit of reading of Jasper Fforde’s ‘Shades of Grey’ - loan from colleague. 

Tried to catch up on all my transactions this evening. Managed to do c. 2/3rds of what I have spent since 21st January when I last updated, but there is a tranch of monies moving around that I can’t unpick as yet - my brain is too tired now. I did discover that I spent £25 just on hospital parking over the three days we were in and out …. 😳

KK

Suffolk_lass

I am so sorry to hear that your DH is still struggling and I sincerely hope the big stone passes in the next day or so. If not, you should press for him to be seen again. That is so sad with your Uncle, and your Aunt's living grief, as he approaches eol. I really didn't cope well when my Dad was ill (we only bottomed out that he had pancreatic cancer 12 days before he died). We knew he was very ill and dying really, before this. For me, I went to see him (450 miles away) while he was still able to talk to me and we were able to tell each other how much we loved each other, and how proud of each other we were. My Mum and sister sat with him as he died and to be honest, this was a relief for me, as I have a more positive memory of his illness. So very hard though

KajiKita

Thanks @Suffolk_lass

I tried talking to him when he was in hospital over the phone a few weeks ago, but literally couldn’t understand him at all. It was grim as at that point he refused to engage any further and stopped trying to communicate with me. The way he is, the way my aunt is describing it, makes me think of an animal in a trap, writhing around and lashing out in its agony. This is not the man I have known all my life. I have consciously stepped back as, if I’m not helping and am just causing more frustration/suffering, I can’t do it to him or me. But what I can do, is creep along the narrow precipice of doing my best to support my aunt. 

KK