Pay off mortgage and start having even more fun 😁

newgirly

Hey - fun fact, it's 50yrs since Sir Rod Stewart recorded and released the song 'Sailing'.  How's about you and the girls do your rendition on the boat? Just for fun 😁

Greying X

🤣 well we didn’t sing that GP but we did have a sing song in the “nightclub” on the last night, it was a good trip I think I was probably in a grumpy mood when I posted as I was just so tired the whole time. Late nights and waking up early very quickly takes it toll now! Bruges I have been to twice before we but arrived from a different spot and had the most amazing walk in past some stunning scenery, I’d now like to go back to Bruges with dh and have a longer look around 😬

Hi Ed, thank you 🙂 I don’t think he feels like that’s what he’s done, he feels he has caved in for family peace ☹️

There are four days left now and I’ve no idea how that will end really, dh feels deeply betrayed but is trying to “do the right thing for the family” but I’m not sure he can actually do that. For me it just feels like a pressure cooker, I’m out with dd, step DGD and mum today , we are going to Aunts for lunch which is a very rare occasion, I’m hoping the subject is swerved totally by all 😩

Hi Al, that’s very kind, it’s tough I must admit but I’m getting used to it quicker than I thought. Still unsure of whether we should move now they have gone but that’s not something we will decide on for a while yet. 

Finances need checking , but it looks like I’ve spent £36.53 as I added the parking to the split expenses (was £99) so not much spent, it’s time to now look at the main account and check everything, not 100% dh will get paid at the end of the month, I think he probably will now but I’m pretty  sure they won’t pay the extra month they committed to - apparently at the end of sept - which we assumed would have been in the last pay packet anyway…. 

In good news though I rang the gas/electric firm and they agreed to me setting the dd at £100 from the recently reduced £213, it doesn’t allow for heating really so I’ll see how we go 🤣

newgirly

It’s been such a busy week, only today and tomorrow left for dh at work 😱 he’s insisted my brother goes to the leaving do as he wasn’t going to. Things are still tough, I’ve not heard, seen or spoken to him since it all happened. I don’t think I’ll go over to the factory for the last day, it’s just too awkward but I will go to the leaving do. 

Next week dh has one week to decorate and renovate a 2500sq ft three level unit on his own basically, I’ve said I’ll obviously go and help but realistically I’m pretty useless both in talent and energy 😂  and that’s if it’s actually cleared in time, they are supposed to be out by Sunday. 

Anyway onto more pleasing things 😊 I saw a film last night with ds2 and dil and their friend which was good, got lost on the way home though as it was late and I was tired and the main road was shut, I had no signal for sat nav so I needed up goodness knows where with dh directing me home 😆 Also met dil earlier in the day and bought us coffee and cake and popped to the flat after to see how dodo the rescue baby pigeon is doing - he’s great and will be going to a pigeon person soon, not sure if he’s being released I believe he is. 

Time to check the finances , I just keep putting it off and it’s a bit hard to do not knowing if he will get his last pay packets and when and how much the new one will be, so I’ll do what I can! Perhaps a round up of debts and a rough plan is in order still though  🤔

South_coast

Remind me why DH only has a week to sort the factory 🤔? Has it been re-let? Or does he only have a week's break before he starts the new role?

newgirly

He’s got a week before he starts the new job SC, once it’s emptied and smartened we will get new photos taken - the last were so bad we told them to remove them and just have an outside shot, one was of a rubbish bin 😳 once they are done we will reduce the price and advertise what it is rather than POA. I’m hoping to get my hands on far more info about everything soon, access to accounts and what goes to the accountant who is also taking over the day to day stuff as there’s won’t be much to do. Maybe a clearer picture will emerge of our financial situation be it good or more likely bad! 

Last night I wrote a list of the major expenses we have coming up to the end of 2026 and this year obviously and when they are due if it’s holiday balances, then it’s all gone in order of priority. We have three trips booked for next year, the first is a one week cruise for just the two of us there’s a balance now left of £848.50 , this one’s a priority as it’s just the two of us 🤣 the second is the massive family 30th anniversary one with all the kids and partners, this is also a priority as apart from weddings it’s like herding cats seeing them all together and they an all make it and said yes, balance left is £9,172 if we also ask DGD as she’s not on the original booking. The last is the Arctic one that we cancelled after losing the original deposit and then rebooked at a very cheap price £1489 balance owing (it’s a lot of money I know but is the posh old fashioned cruise line we’ve never been on for 12 nights in the snow!) so we don’t want to cancel this one as I’ve spent money to get it a lot cheaper than the original booking. Oh plus a trip to York for a few days this October for a spooky show and potentially also after Xmas for a few days 🙄

Phew, it feels good getting it all out 🤣 we currently have £5000 on a 0% card until March 2027 and £4731 on a 0% card that ends November, as I said a few weeks ago it’s small mortgage territory eek! 

Alongside that we have the factory and it’s costs if it’s empty, in the £100s if it’s the first 6 months and I think well over £1000 pm once the business rates relief ends after 6 months empty. This is all stuff I currently don’t know and don’t have access to yet as it’s all be so stressful and chaotic lately, I think I’ll know much more very soon, dh has a large cushion for some of this but for how long for I’m unsure until I get my hands on it 😬

Anyway, I think the priority is major frugal living for the foreseeable in regards to day to day costs, I always find it easier in autumn/winter as costs mainly seem to involve food and warmth with the odd coffee out. I’m running the finances as if there will be no rent coming in, if it gets rented then we are all good but you can’t make a plan with a maybe. It must seem insane to have such huge holiday costs and not cancel but this was going to be our big year being mf and I’m going to try and make that still happen. We can clear it afterwards if we have to. 

I’m going to run it in a snowball fashion, cards are on interest only but one will of course have to be moved soon:



Cards one and two - £125/53 running along at just over minimum payments due each month (fixed amount not reducing) 

York spooky trip this Oct probably 3/4 nights  - £300 ( buying tickets for stuff and one meal out plus electric charge, it’s bit more spending than usual) 

Trip one in March balance due Dec 25   - £848.50 

Trip one March spending money - £600 (drinks, trips if any,  Wi-Fi, maybe parking) 

Trip two balance due June 26 £9172 or £7243 of DGD doesn’t go 

Trip two spending money £3000 😱 way extra due to taking possibly ten people, some won’t be able to afford stuff and we asked them  😂

Trip three £1489 due July 2026 

Trip three spending £1600 much dearer on this ship plus would like to book exciting trips of possible and it’s £££


Somehow I don’t think just my batch cooking is going to cover this crazy lot! If we live frugally and stick to our monthly budget we have a surplus after the minimum card payments and bills of £552 pm towards it all 😩 whatever else left still owing will be put on a 0% cc. 

Ahh, feels good to finally write it all down, I’ve been a bit scared to! 🤣

Time to get on now, it’s the work leaving do today where everyone is going including all the kids and partners, I’ve not seen or spoken with my brother since it all happened so not looking forward to it, he said he wouldn’t go but dh said he should, peak awkwardness! 

themadvix

They are quite some commitments NG! I think I'd be scrapping the York in October trip - it's not a necessity (when you've got all the rest to look forward to - weigh up whether this is worth more than some of the trip 3 excursions to you?), you're less likely to have rent coming in by then and you've not (as far as I can tell) committed to spending any of it yet.

As for the family cruise - what is the spending money for? Given food and accommodation is included, I think you could cut this too. Yes, you invited them, but they are adults and the basics are covered - I don't think it's unreasonable to expect them to cough up for extras to some extent (they've got time to save). If there's a specific thing you want to do with them all, then fair enough to pay for that, but I don't think you need to pay for their drinks packages, for example - if they want alcohol, they're big enough and ugly enough to pay for it themselves - you won't be drinking and will still have a good time, after all. (And they can always have just a couple of drinks and PAYG if they don't want to shell out for the full drinks package.) If the factory is rented, you can always revisit this, but I wouldn't stress about factoring this in at the moment.

Hope the leaving do goes off without any drama.

newgirly

Hi Vix, the spending money is not to for everything on their cruise just a bit towards it for some drinks (no packages) like extra meals and stuff. They don’t expect it but we would like to do it as it’s a one off and budgets are tight, it’s a trip we choose not them if see what u mean. Plus I still have memories of a couple of free holidays we went on when the kids were little that we couldn’t afford money to take as we were barely scrapping by, it ended up feeling like a stressful liability if I’m honest as we went 
in debt because of it 🤦‍♀️ Their situation is not the same perhaps but it’s kind of stuck with me. I think if we do an open invite of anyone fancy this it’s fair enough but this is more on our terms. I
may revisit this if we can’t do it though 😂

York is a good point but it’s a special one for me as I booked the show last year and it was one of the questions I asked the cardiologist before the op, would I be well enough to go? I was told yes so I kind of had that in my mind when trying to get through it all, it turned out I was still needing help getting up when the time came let alone a trip away 😆 I think they were humoring me. It’s one night only again this year so I have to make it this time 😁 I lost the tickets last year as when I couldn’t go they wouldn’t exchange and have already bought for this year a while ago. 

Basically this factory needs to be rented! 

themadvix

Ah, I see re the York trip - I hadn't realised there was a show or that you'd already paid for it.

I get where you're coming from re the cruise, and you're very kind to your kids. Assume you've worked out a spend per day? And I guess, as you say, this could be trimmed if necessary.

Let's hope that factory is rented asap!

Bargainhunter30

I would think of it as you could've saved up for these trips but chose to pay off the mortgage instead. It may not feel as overwhelming if you had an account there saved for trips and still 10/20k mortgage. You would just be tightening the reins to get the mortgage still paid off, as you are doing. After everything you've been through, you need to enjoy yourself and live life now. It might take a year or so to get rid of all debt but you'll also have priceless memories that you might not get again.

You've done so well, enjoy yourself and maybe think of the upset with the factory as a way of getting DH to live life too. Maybe he never would've made the decision for himself and your brother I'm sure will find out the true nature of his employers in the end - with questionable empathy from you!

daisy_1571

Its not unreasonable to get each couple to start saving now ?  £50 a month over the 10 months till the cruise would go a long way towards extra costs but is certainly not an unreasonable monthly amount for everyone to chip in.

I do understand about 'free' holidays.  We went multiple times to florida as 'free' from my inlaws but we paid for the car plus one of the trips for them each time.  Plus our ridiculous spending money each free holiday probably cost us 3grand.  I kinda resented it once we started trying to clear mortgage but I also loved the holidays.   Even now, more than 30 years after the first of the holidays we look at the photos and talk about the holidays.   Its even nicer to have had them as both inlaws are long gone so the memories are indeed precious.  However I also have always understood we willingly agreed to go, all the stuff we bought, trips and entertainment we went to, that was all on us.  We could have reined it in but we had fun on our terms.  You are more understanding than whoever you went on your free holidays with, you will understand and applaud your family if they choose to spend their holiday funds on this rather than that.

newgirly

Thank you for the comments everyone 😊 it does feel a bit uncomfortable posting a list of expensive trips on here but I’ve always tried to be honest good or bad 😆 

Bargainhunter30 that’s exactly how I feel, we did became quite extreme towards the end  to clear everything by the time I hit 50 this year. Plus I’ve  always had those what if thoughts, what if you leave it too late and regret not doing things earlier sort of thing but in the main achieving the mf goal has been more important. It still is important to be financially stable of course but I’ve had a strong burst of “do it while you can” mentality in recent times, more of a wake up a call I guess 🙂

Hi Daisy, they will have to take some money and will I’m sure, they don’t really expect us to pay for it all but I just want to, however if in future this seems like a good idea I will perhaps go for a waaaaay cheaper option like an air BnB for one night! 

Hi Vix, I’ve not worked out a spend per day, I was thinking we will just maybe pay for the extra cover charge on a meal out in a specialty restaurant one night - usually around £20-30pp and then just send them a few hundred per couple to pay for whatever they want, ds2 will maybe book a trip, dd more likely the spa and cocktails and ds2 beer 😆 they can then be very careful with it and not spend extra if they choose to or can’t afford to and if they can afford to they can splash out extra themselves. At least as it’s a ship you can get by without spending anything if you really need to. 

Well last night went ok, I avoided any proper conversations with little brother and kept it polite if not quite normal still, all the kids came with partners which helped with the awkwardness. Not sure where we go from here yet, but dh is very much insistent  that any issues he has won’t affect me or the kids. Didn’t fee well when I got home though, I’d had one Pepsi and a few waters in the pub along with some nachos and ended up throwing up in the early hours (sorry if tmi!), can stress make you actually sick I wonder 🤣

Todays plans are hopefully to do nothing! Dh is sorting stuff at work today and I think a day of slouching in front of the tv drinking tea might good idea, I may even dig out the stuff I night to make all the kids a Xmas wreath ages ago.