My 2 year battle to try to keep our home

savingholmes

Have a good weekend. Have you got anything nice planned for you? Does that feel impossible right now? I promise you - even if it's just taking a few minutes out just for you it makes a difference.

Tiredbutdetermined

Sorry if I sounded a lot down last night.
The kids just don’t take much responsibility around the house and it wears me down. It is hard when the ex does so little and lives his marvellous life now. His few times he has had all 3 kids over the last 9 months have been pitiful and a 30-45min trip to McDonald’s/KFC once every 3 months doesn’t really help me take any time for myself. 

January is an evil beast and I think chucking the mortgage application uncertainty in mid-January is testing my sanity! However, doing it now is better than waiting. I would love my valuation to come back with the dream figure and all is sorted so plan A can go ahead but I just want to know so I can try to devise a plan. Not knowing is frustrating and leads me to read too much into everything.
I am ok with knowing nothing is going to happen over the weekend but I will be back to my constant refreshing and checking on Monday!

My credit card statement has just appeared online. The balance should be zero next month but I love that my monthly minimum payment is now £5.78 when this time last year it was £122.52. It really brings home the power of snowballing and the money saved being able to impact on debt not interest. 

Onwards and upwards!

I am going to speak to the kids and ex today about access being more useful and meaningful so I can have more quality of life. He doesn’t give a tiny rats a?S but I think the kids need to hear it and understand life from my side.
I need to do something nice for me this afternoon. I am considering asking a friend if she wants to go for a glass of wine and a natter or maybe popping to home bargains. The drink won’t be cheap as there is often more than 1 but the home bargains is never a cheap option either! The cleaning aisle is my happy place

Jill12

Hello, defo take the friend up on the offer of wine and natter and a trip to HB might not be that bad. Sometimes it is just the getting out and looking at pretty things is whats needed. I was in the same position as you a few years back, The constant refreshing is normal and checking emails every 5 min also normal- well I did it too! It is what we do when we are stressed and anxious and desperate for things to move on. In the first year I was separated the dad seen the kids about once a week at my house! it was not until we were under different roofs/ divorced/ money and house divided that he started to take the kid every second weekend. Your life is in a state of flux so everything you are going through is normal for now. Divorce is a trauma to go through, no matter how much you wanted it. Be kind to yourself you are doing so well 

doingitanyway

I vote for the wine and natter. I am having a difficult time in a very different way but some wine and natter did me so much good this week. I hope you go for it.

savingholmes

You will get to the other side. I've been through that constant email refreshing too...  I hope you manage to get some childfree time.

BellaLasagna2018

The lack of control is unbearable when you are trying to take control of your life, isn’t it? I think it’s totally normal to keep checking/refreshing emails on working days. Not healthy because you are stressed but totally normal. 

I’m in the “wine and natter “ camp too. It will be good for you. 

Honeysucklelou2

Hope you’ve had chance to meet your friend or do something for you. Working full time, managing a home and raising a family on your own is a huge task, taking time out for yourself is important. I find just getting out for a walk as often as possible is a stress reliever and sanity saver🙂.

Tiredbutdetermined

Had a wild weekend. Did cocktails and wine but just went nuts and went to home bargains too. I think I may need to check into some sort of rehab facility now.

I almost daren’t type this as I don’t want to jinx it but it is starting to look
a little optimistic for the mortgage. I will be utterly over the moon if this goes ahead obviously but even if it doesn’t then I will have fallen at the final hurdle so I am still pretty chuffed to have made it this far and it gives me promise that, if not now, maybe next time.

I might have to change my diary title! This might not be a 2 year battle.

SusieT

Fingers crossed for less than 2 years wait

savingholmes

Well you could always start a new diary with a more optimistic title. Hope it works out for you for the mortgage.