My 2 year battle to try to keep our home

Spendless

Tiredbutdetermined said:

I am just having the tea with 5 days out of date milk! I have just been to Tesco this morning as my delivery is coming tonight but my lovely daughter just expressed her urgent need for sanitary products! I resisted buying milk as I have 8pints coming tonight. I picked up some reduced festive snack whilst I was in so that is extra frugal. I have had a chat with the kids about £150 a month on parent pay being too much so we are going for a bit of a hybrid packed lunch and school dinner mix. The snacks will be ideal for the packed lunches

Ahh yes, feeling your pain here as mine has done this too since she's been home for Christmas. A shout from the bathroom, just as though I'm Mrs Weasley and can conjure something up with the wave of my wand (I did say something to that effect too!). Mine is 18, so the law says she's an adult, though I think a competence test wouldn't always agree that she is. No mine did not think to pack any in her bag when coming home from her student accommodation because 'her bags were too full' and 'she thought I'd have some'. Not sure what she'd done if she needed them on Christmas day!  

Pick some up in Home Bargains next time you're in. I find them really reasonably priced in there. 

Parentpay wasn't something used when DS was at school but was when DD was. I used to find she would be generous with her account to friends whose parents didn't have enough money to put on their own account , so I was paying for others too. A lovely thing to do but not when you're trying to watch the pennies too. Just be aware this can happen.   

Tiredbutdetermined

Spendless said:

Tiredbutdetermined said:

I am just having the tea with 5 days out of date milk! I have just been to Tesco this morning as my delivery is coming tonight but my lovely daughter just expressed her urgent need for sanitary products! I resisted buying milk as I have 8pints coming tonight. I picked up some reduced festive snack whilst I was in so that is extra frugal. I have had a chat with the kids about £150 a month on parent pay being too much so we are going for a bit of a hybrid packed lunch and school dinner mix. The snacks will be ideal for the packed lunches

Ahh yes, feeling your pain here as mine has done this too since she's been home for Christmas. A shout from the bathroom, just as though I'm Mrs Weasley and can conjure something up with the wave of my wand (I did say something to that effect too!). Mine is 18, so the law says she's an adult, though I think a competence test wouldn't always agree that she is. No mine did not think to pack any in her bag when coming home from her student accommodation because 'her bags were too full' and 'she thought I'd have some'. Not sure what she'd done if she needed them on Christmas day!  

Pick some up in Home Bargains next time you're in. I find them really reasonably priced in there. 

Parentpay wasn't something used when DS was at school but was when DD was. I used to find she would be generous with her account to friends whose parents didn't have enough money to put on their own account , so I was paying for others too. A lovely thing to do but not when you're trying to watch the pennies too. Just be aware this can happen.   

I am glad it isn’t just my daughter! However, I blame myself as a parent. I just need to learn how to crochet sanitary products

I discovered the parentpay generosity of my children when I found them spending £6 a day of their £12.50 budget on buying their friends snack and drinks. The deeply annoying thing is those kids parents are not exactly struggling themselves!
I think it will be good for the kids to play a role in our cutting back and saving. I was very resistant to the idea of them not having a school dinner each day but it gives them an understanding of managing a budget and planning ahead financially.

SusieT

Just read through this, you are doing amazingly well with the way the ex has behaved - are you sure his latest "bin lady" is not your solicitor as yours does not seem to understand that she is working for you rather than wanting you to say yes to near enough whatever he suggests!
Very good luck with getting the debt gone and hopefully the loans will naturally come down to the point where they make your utilisation lower and look better for a mortgage.

Steerpike88

I just want to say that your kids seem genuinely lovely to buy their friends snacks out of their own money. Although I'm sure if you explain that the money situation has changed a bit and they need to start being a bit more money conscious than they were they'll probably understand. I dunno how much of the situation they know but they'll probably need to hear that things won't be financially the same for a while. 

CRANKY40

My son preferred taking a packed lunch as he could eat it straight away at lunch time instead of having to wait his year's turn then stand in the lunch queue. He had money available for breaktime snacks although I had most of that back when he finished school. 

Suffolk_lass

My son was mugged during his first week at Senior school and all his lunch money and bus fares were stolen. Then the jar of pound coins that had been accumulating by the oven to pay for outings and treats at half term was gradually emptied as he bought lunches for his "friends" who spent their lunch money in the sweet shop on the way in on Monday, "...but you said it is really important to eat a proper lunch!" When we moved here, not a single one of them ever contacted him again. I think they thought we were rich, when in fact we had to downsize to a less affluent area because DH was retraining

Tiredbutdetermined

I have been back to work for 2 days and I am shattered already! I am also back at the side hustle, which is exhausting but great to have the extra income.
I emailed my solicitor on Tuesday and the has responded today so I feel a lot more confident in her now. I am glad I don’t have to start all over again with a new solicitor.
My mortgage advisor has submitted a mortgage application for me this morning and the valuation is next Wednesday. I am very nervous as the advisor has put the house value down very high to create a deposit so hoping the valuation goes well. Fingers crossed as the market seems strong and rapid at the moment.

savingholmes

Good luck with the mortgage application. Glad that things seem to be getting back on track with the solicitor. On the budget side - the kids will adjust. 

Spendless

Glad the solicitor has listened! Good luck and fingers crossed with the mortgage application

Blackcats

Sounds like good progress this week.  

Your solicitor needs to understand what you want to achieve and enable you to achieve it by being assertive with your ex's solicitor rather than receiving the demands of your ex and using those as a starting point.  I hope that makes sense ....