Curbing the ridiculous

badmemory

carolbee said:

I’d be cancelling her invite at Easter, what did your husband say? Poor little lad to witness that. What an absolute lioness of a Mum you are, well done

I wouldn't be cancelling her invite & would be cancelling her presence at any family occasion that she gets the chance to interact with your child.  But then my sister felt the need to tell our mother not to undermine my maternal role when I came to live near home again, so that may well tell you something.

moving_forward

Well I think you know my opinion on that #£&* face of a female dog your MIL is. 
Your son will be as wonderful as his parents are and make his place in the world. If you her round to Easter and spit in her food. Such a nasty insensitive thing to say to your and your son.

joeyjimbles

I am delurking to say how I share your fury. I have a neurodivergent child, it makes things different and sometimes difficult, but there is nothing more harmful than someone else limiting his opportunities especially someone who should be rooting for him but is saying hurtful, limited and ignorant statements.
Your wonderful child will be fine, more than fine, because he has you - MIL will have to live with herself and her own shortcomings. I'm so sorry you both went through that.

Humdinger1

@[Deleted User] you are utterly wonderful and so are your children and DH.  I trust he is incensed and 100% in your corner?  I think MILs Easter treat should be to meditate on her sins and low standing as a human being! You handled it brilliantly.  You do know what a posse of devoted admirers you have here and how much we love you?! Humdinger xx 

Four_Seasons

Hi Rebecca, hope you are ok today, I echo what everyone is saying, you are a fabulous Mom and have a lovely family, what that  person said was so !!!! words are not really enough.  I love your diary and now you are in your new house look forward to hearing how you are making it into a lovely home, not sure that there isn't a touch of jealously from that person!  Have a lovely day sending you love and hugs xx

Buffythedebtslayer

Four_Seasons said:

Hi Rebecca, hope you are ok today, I echo what everyone is saying, you are a fabulous Mom and have a lovely family, what that  person said was so !!!! words are not really enough.  I love your diary and now you are in your new house look forward to hearing how you are making it into a lovely home, not sure that there isn't a touch of jealously from that person!  Have a lovely day sending you love and hugs xx

I agree so much with this, (and everyone's posts) 

I just think your MIL is absolute !!!!!!  !!!!!! who needs to mind her own business and stop being so bloody judgemental. 

Horrendous thing to do. 

There aren't enough swear words really. 

astrocytic_kitten

Agree with everyone - she sounds way more concerned with appearances than people, what an unpleasant thing to say. I feel so much for DC1 having to listen to that, and I’m so glad he has you as his Mum to counteract it and protect him. Take care xx

Chrystal

Hope you're OK Rebecca, and that you aren't allowing her remarks to affect your family life... I'd imagine it puts DH in a hard situation.

It's being put forward that everyone is on the Spectum, in one form or another, and Einstien certainly was! 

 People in my family are aknowledged as 'on the spectum'.  They are brilliant at maths and physics, just not so good at interacting with people. Everyone is an individual, and everyones brain works differently, so enjoy your children, and celebrate their differences. ((((hugs)))) X

[Deleted User]

Deleted_User said:

*Delurking* you have my absolute sympathies regarding your MIL. Mine used to make regular unkind comments to me usually about myself and sometimes about my children. My DC2 had very delayed speech as a child. I remember her asking him a question, which he tried his very best to answer… her reply to him ‘what sort of a stupid answer is that”. He was 4 years old. She was never invited back to the house after that. 

My children are all now grown up and not one of them choose to have contact with her….somehow she doesn’t realise it’s all of her own making but thinks we’re a terrible family 😳 her loss not ours.

That's awful - a child should never ever be called stupid x

[Deleted User]

amanda_p said:

This is so so wrong on every level.As you say the nursery which he attends now will have a far better idea as to where he is at. If he is assessed as being on the spectrum, it will mean his brain is wired differently to others, it does not mean he won't achieve.
Your reaction when you got home is just lovely. He is a much loved little boy who will grow up knowing he is loved, that alone will lead to his achievements whatever they may be.

My youngest son was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate. My FIL thought this was the end of the world and he would be his exact words ' a cretin' as that is what his 1935 medical book told him.
He had many operations,speech therapy a bone graft from hip to mouth, plus 15 years with braces and orthodontic treatment.
He is now 33 and a Consultant Neurosurgeon. Such a shame FIL never saw the outcome!

I really hope you get the answers you need from his assessments, once you know what you are dealing with you will be able to form a plan and the way forward will seem clearer.
As for your MIL I would steer a very wide berth especially if all she does is compare your son to others whom she knows nothing about whatsoever. Perhaps a response to her would be 'didnt realise you had a medical degree to diagnose behaviours'.

Just hang on to the thought what you are doing is 100% right. Your son is lucky to have you, the love and encouragement you give to him is exactly what you should be doing with a 4 year old.  If she comes to lunch over Easter I would be inclined to add some extra salt to her portion!!

Wow, what an amazing achievement by your son!  You must be so proud.  So sorry that he had to go through so many operations.  Your FIL sounds like a dinosaur.  

Thank you for your lovely comments x