Learning to walk before I run

glass_half_full

Hi Ed, I enjoy following your diary. Lots of wisdom here in the advice people are giving. Some time ago I think you mentioned about having an interest in coding and you did some studying. Have you considered going a bit further with maybe a Masters? There are a few hot areas at the moment such as Data Analytics, Cyber etc. Not sure about your background or what might be suitable. Its a big commitment with family etc, but personally over the years it has kept me sane and allowed me to make two career changes. Just a thought.

powerspowers

Agree with previous posters that you don’t need to solve everything immediately! You have 2 smalls and have had a lot on your plate in the last year, try to take the pressure off yourself. 

I also use the “3 small things” reflection (at least one is usually food based) and I love the concept of the 5 max to do
list. 

Local gov can be hard but there are so many jobs and teams that a change is always possible. It’s okay to have a break from job chasing though, especially when you are worn out! 

edinburgher

I feel bad that it has taken me this long to respond to @daisy_1571 - your posts were truly inspirational stuff - thank you

My generation (and the generation that came after me (think it's just one so far)) have lived through some fairly challenging times (as have all generations) and very much subscribe to a rather pessimistic worldview that the "luck" of past generations will not be ours. For example, we've missed house price inflation as a positive force, pensions have been watered down and a decade plus of austerity means that fewer and fewer employees are finding themselves generously paid off at an auspicious point in their career.

This isn't mentioned from the perspective of "woe is me/us" but it has definitely impacted on our thinking. It's largely why I find myself so driven and also why I find it difficult to relax. In short, I feel I have to make my own luck. In my view it's also the reason that every second person seems to have a "side hussle" these days, whereas previous generations might have had a hobby

The above also isn't mentioned to disagree with what you have said, I think there was warmth and wisdom in all of your points and I accept your message... I just find it hard to change

@glass_half_full - My short period of study re. coding taught me that I would probably struggle to study it full time. I think if I was to take on the cost and time commitment of studying again, it would probably need to be something linked to my existing experience, like a qualification in data protection law or the like.

@powerspowers - I am trying to set better boundaries at work and to respect myself a bit better but it seems to be getting worse before it gets better. I am trying to complete things that will reduce overall workload for the team (recruiting more staff and internal assistance from other departments) and this is nearly done, the ducks are in a row, we just need them to get to quacking. I have also made it clear that, while I have got new arrangements up and running, I will not be going beyond the 3 people I now manage in terms of responsibility for managing this. I'm the only individual at my grade in our team who manages anyone, which I don't mind as it bolsters my CV. I think job chasing is having a break from me - very little of relevance being advertised at the moment.

I have managed a relaxing (for me) day. Haircut this morning (more dapper gent, less hobo), a trip to the tip and a breakfast and read of the FT at M0rrison's. The lovely Mrs E is taking the children to the inlaws tomorrow afternoon so that I can watch the last Scottish rugby game of the Six Nations and we're taking Mrs E out for lunch on Mother's Day. DD2 appears to have a sickness/upset stomach bug, so I have returned home to a tornado of dirty nappies and vomiting

Small payments have been made to my LISA, signature updated. I'll make to a 10th of a percent soon, what's that called? A decent? 

daisy_1571

As with all posts on here, one can tell a story and can only hope even a small part helps somebody.   I definitely agree with the idea its good to look to yourself to make your luck.  I'm sure every generation thinks some aspects are better now, some better for the previous generation(s).  At the end of the day you can only live in the times you are in and make the best of them, which I think you are    I'm glad you took all I said in the spirit intended as it was definitely with warmth towards you and your readers.

My generation missed out on the good times of endowment mortgages but were still sold them and had to pay more towards them, we also had the 15% mortgages.  We had strict rules re mortgages (2 x one salary and 1 x the other etc) which meant you never got enough to buy the property you wanted - endless paying for surveys for property you didn't get.  We had the start of personal pensions with the subsequent pressure to pay in and worry if you weren't.  I was watching an old good life episode the other day (made mid 70s) and Jerry was getting sacked.  He couldn't get another job which he put down to his age - 42!  I remember that being a real worry still in the 80s and into 90s but I get the impression that age is not nearly such a problem these days.  My parents age group were buying bungalows for 4 to 5000 but there were also rules in lots of organisations (including civil service up to late 60s) that women had to give up work when they got married.  Later in their married life when mum was working again,  no building society would take the woman's salary into account for mortgages.  There was also the 3 day week in the 70s.  In my 70s childhood we had central heating but it was only on in the livingroom,  a child's bedroom didn't get heated as we didn't have the money.  Huge unemployment in the 80s, I remember endless news stories on TV and in the papers about the predictions of a whole generation of young people never having a job.  The worry my boyfriend would get called up for the Falkland war.  I've also been re watching Howard's Way (on TV between 85 and 90) and you can see the growth of greed is good/get a loan/buy on the never never, get a shiny glossy flash company car and constantly eating in restaurants.  The ever widening gap between the haves and the have-nots with the implied idea if you were a have-not it was only for the lack of trying as opportunities were everywhere supposedly.  The price rises in houses was at the wrong time for us as we were all in the first flat, first house upward trajectory.   Again the previous generations to me got the benefit of downsizing from a house worth £200k that they bought for £8k.

I agree also re the watering down of benefits- long standing civil servants older than me got incredibly nice payouts (I know cos I calculated them) but over the years there's been more and more caps on how much could be paid out.  I should have been getting my state pension in 3 years not 10 years.  Or possibly longer of course.  

But we also had the benefits of more equal pay, the start of proper flexibility time and more flexible working. Better maternity pay and rights.  Most of those dire predictions never came true however sadly the advent of the 125% mortgages etc and then the later credit issues has brought the tighter mortgages back.

I won't go on as everyone here is somewhere in amongst all these generations.  Again I just want to say I completely understand,  I was there too thinking we'd got the fluffy end of the lollipop, I won't ever pay off this huge mortgage,  I won't ever get a job I enjoy, I won't ever be able to afford to retire.  Its only in hindsight that I can see I had advantages as well as disadvantages.   Its only in hindsight you ever know how things turn out.  

Keep going ed.  You'll get there too, nothing is all good, nothing is all bad   

Dxx

badmemory

& don't get me started on women needing a guarantor for the mortgage.  My aunt earned more than my father & unlike him had no dependents.  But he needed to guarantee her mortgage, I just misssed him having to guarantee mine back in the late 70s.  As for the horrendous interest rates, fixed rates were not really a thing back then so when it went up, well it went up.  From 7 to 17% in a very short time.

edinburgher

Isn't it nice they're trying their best to recreate those heady days of bigh interest rates now that houses cost 10x as much?

Anyway, I feel point being missed slightly, I'm not playing the generational unfairness game, just explaining why I feel wired to be skeptical about luck

badmemory

I think we were just trying to make the point that there were other things.  30 years ago for example I had to buy my house insurance through my mortgage company.  I still pay less than a third of what I had to then.  So it was very much swings & roundabouts.  Frankly I would hate to have to have a mortgage now

South_coast

Ed, why still so many daily payments? I can't seem to quote posts any more, but I've screenshotted below a post you made before DD2 was born last year.

I do think Daisy made a good point about only making payments when you get paid and then focusing your attention elsewhere for the rest of the time. You can only control your actions, not the outcomes, so don't drive yourself mad overthinking it. You've got a fabulous home and family, let them be your focus instead of what may or may not happen with money in the future.

edinburgher

I get where you're coming from @South_coast but this feels totally different to last year, I've calmed right down with the finances, paid off all unsecured debt, saving an EF for the first time ever?

I get paid a lot of times for little amounts, that's why there are lots of payments, time in the market and all that.

Suffolk_lass

I still pay all the little surpluses into a savings account. It incentivises me to keep improving our financial situation and have the money there when we need it. This month is the worst with our house insurance and the solar installation but it is planned for and the money is there. I have always disagreed with the idea of only saving when you get paid. For me it is like switching off. As I say, the small Tilly Tidies, be they from rewards, sales or surveys; they are the little things that over time, really do make a difference. 

The big change since I stopped work is that I make do with what we already have in, rather than shopping for that elusive ingredient (because I could be participating in a sweep the shelves contest, let loose without a list). So the cake this week had double the sultanas and no cherries. Nobody noticed except me!

I also faced a lot of financial challenges, but I think we all do. What I had was a decent occupational pension and job security until relatively late. The race to the bottom, administered by the "haves", is the single thing I abhor. Where does that come from?

I say don't beat yourself up ed - you are doing a fantastic job.

And just returning from a little maths rabbit hole of percentiles, deciles and quadriles, thousandths just feels too distant so tenth-percentile works for me