Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 5 - Trying to recover from the pandemic

crazy_cat_lady

I'm actually dying under my workload.
Teacher friends you will know it. There's still covid, then there's an awful lot of seasonal colds, plus norovirus and the shock to the system of relative normality after so much upheaval and not being near people. On top of normal work and exam work, and my tendency to procrastinate and then end up putting myself at the bottom of the pile for self care.
Good thing is that open evening for prospective students is over and done with (that 14 hour day wiped me out for 3 days afterwards).
Also good news is that dd has settled a bit at sixth form - she's made some friends so doesn't feel so lonely any more, but she's very busy and seems to be working every hour of the day. She's really conscientious but already very busy with the whole thing - and has a real issue with her chemistry teacher. 
There has been other, less good news as well. DS was the first to pick up the cold from hell at school last week - he ended up having 2 days off (more on that in a sec) but has now shared the love with his sister and me and we're both feeling a bit rubbish at the moment. I was going to get up and get on here first thing yesterday morning but day 6 of my migraine just refused to let me. It's not covid as we all had PCR tests (when the coughing started) which came back negative. Just the stress of destroying our immune systems by being in practical isolation for the past 18 months, so any illness makes us much sicker than it would have done in the past.
It was dd's birthday last week. She already had her car from me, and has saved enough money for driving lessons and put all of her birthday money towards it as well. I came home as early as I could from work as I'd promised her a trip to the dessert restaurant, and got home to find ds wandering round the kitchen with his eyes full of tears. Asked him what was up - he told me he was just feeling very emotional - so I asked why. He had seen his dad at the bus stop on his way home from school. For the first time in almost three years. Apparently his dad had been over to post a birthday card through the letterbox while we were all out and had coincidentally been at the bus stop when ds walked past. I genuinely do think this was an accident because ex would have no idea that ds would be walking that way at that time... but anyway. Apparently they chatted for a good 20 minutes or so but ds couldn't remember what they had talked about for so long. He just kept saying to me 'I really thought I would never see him again'. He was really upset and ill as well so really couldn't be bothered.
I woke up at just after 4am the next morning hearing ds going downstairs and not coming back up so I went to ask him what was wrong. He told me he was getting a drink for a sore throat and just checking that all of the windows were closed and locked. So not only was he shocked - he also remembered the trauma of the time his dad turned up drunk and throwing bricks at the house when I had to get the police out. I told him not to bother getting up for school the next day and went off to work with him fast asleep. He rang me at work at 11am, clearly quite unwell but also really upset and not wanting to be in the house on his own. So I ended up leaving work at lunchtime to get home to him. Couldn't tell if it was him being poorly or all of the stress but I suspect a bit of both. Took him for a PCR test then we watched a rubbish film together and he ended up sleeping in with me last night.
Stayed off school the next day waiting for test results but he was quite a bit better and insisted that I go back to work, which I did. I also contacted his head of year to explain the situation to her. He seems to have picked up loads as the week has gone on which is good as I have gotten more poorly, but the whole thing has clearly had a bit of an effect on him.
Never a dull moment in my life between running the house, being an A level chemistry teacher for dd, giving ds the extra love he needs at the moment, doing my own job, trying to prepare meals from scratch and finishing up some urgent exam work. I had planned a nice, relaxing weekend with just a couple of hours of work but then ended up spending most of the day in bed yesterday because I felt so generally rubbish.
Time to catch up now though.

f0xh0les

Oh CCL!  Poor DS how traumatic... and to know he is back somewhere nearby. 

crazy_cat_lady

f0xh0les said:

Oh CCL!  Poor DS how traumatic... and to know he is back somewhere nearby. 

I'm quite annoyed with myself that I didn't foresee how much it was going to affect my baby. He might be almost 13 but we all need our mams sometimes don't we?

foxgloves

That's a difficult one, isn't it, CCL. Your son had probably reconciled himself to the fact that his Dad would no longer feature in his life & may have kind of come to terms with that, at least in the everyday functional sense. So that impromptu meeting would really have shaken his equilibrium.
I have heard that there are some awful colds around atm. Sorry to hear your household has been afflicted. Take care. 
F xx

janb5

So ex hasnt given a birthday card or been in contact and suddenly decides to make an appearance?  Very creepy.

Honeysucklelou2

(((Hugs)))) CCL, that must have been a shock for you all, having thought the ex was elsewhere. There are some horrible colds going round at the moment...had a few off in my class and the younger DDs have gone down with it. Hope you all feel much better soon.

Baileys_Babe

Hugs to you and your family CCL. 

Last week sounds like it has been very draining for you all. Pleased ds was happy to get comfort from his Mam and didn't think he was too old to do so, another piece of evidence to demonstrate what we already know, you are a wonderful loving Mam, working hard for your family.

Wishing you all a full and speedy recovery.

crazy_cat_lady

Evening all
Still dying under my workload. I just can't get back into the swing of things at work and I just feel as though I'm tired and a bit unwell all of the time. I got completely wiped out by a migraine last weekend and then have spent the past week or more trying to catch up on everything I missed between being sick and sleeping.
I'm ok within myself - mental health not great and physical health a bit meh but I'm ok. Physically I seem to have a constant cold and headache, still all negative on the LFT front but just feeling a bit generally run down. Mentally I'm ok - stressed about my financial situation which feels like its starting to get out of control. I know what I need to do, but I just can't make ends meet with the missing exam work. I've worked out that so far I'm £7000 down on my earnings pre pandemic, which is just an awful lot of money to try and cut back. On top of that I'm stressed out about the price of everything - fuel for the home, fuel for the car, food, empty shelves etc etc. I can't see an end in sight and it's starting to keep me awake at night now. I have a couple of plans in place but I'm starting to wonder how much longer I can go on with things the way that they are financially.
I'm also due to remortgage the house and am dreading trying to sort this out because my ex is still on the deeds, and my finances have worsened over the pandemic and I think that it's going to be a lot more hassle than my tiny brain can cope with... I'm starting to feel like I did before I went into my DMP a few years ago.
Anyway, on with other stuff. DS has had his birthday and is still only ever angry or upset at the moment. I don't know how much is hormones, how much is seeing his dad and how much is angry boy playing too much exbox. It is worrying me a lot if I'm honest. I wish he had a positive male role model in his life - I think that's something that's really missing.
Work is still busy as well but it feels much better than last year. Although we still have massively high absence rates among both the staff and the students the atmosphere is much improved, and I really like being able to see other staff again - even if it is in meetings etc.
Don't think there's much else to say - two more weeks until half term. Can't come soon enough for me

WinterWarrior

I hope you feel better soon. Do you still need to keep ex on the deeds when you remortgage? Maybe a broker is the best way to go if your current provider (who know your payment history and should trust you) aren’t playing ball. There are usually deals out there, it’s just finding them. 

I’m sorry it’s rubbish right now, but it will get better, it always does.

f0xh0les

I have an L&C referral on my signature (plug plug) - you have your financials sorted with the court, do not blow this up into a huge thing, please, but it is the final severance of the thread.   There might be a small cost to have him removed, or possibly not at all as you are remortgaging - there are some sub 1% interest mortgage offers out there right now if you want to pay a £1K set up fee, but it you don't  want to pay one (I never do),  then the best fee free ones are 1.4%  2 year fixes (with the Nationwide!) which is not too shoddy.  L&C do whole of market, and are free, and know what is best for people in all kinds of circumstances, and are free, and 98% of it is over the phone in one phone call, plus they are free. 

and Martin's top picks https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/mortgages/best-buys/

Just had a thought, if you have equity in the house, what about wiping out your ambient debt by shoving  that £10k onto the mortgage, and then making a lump sum overpayment at exam time each year?   Just a thought. 

People do it when building an extension, why not for an ex-reduction?