The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

stymied

You are useful Buffy!

Buffythedebtslayer

stymied said:

You are useful Buffy!

At work, where I can get on with stuff in my own way and be organised I am, at home I am constantly waiting and waiting and waiting. Everything is done on Mum's terms, but she hates that as well, so in actual fact nothing is done. The whole situation is a joke and I know I am in the wrong, that I should just get on with it all regardless of the fuss and anxiety it causes. 

I cannot stand being worried about mum all the time. It is crushing me. I am scared that making any major changes will make her more ill. Much of her symptoms are stress based. I am anxious, she is anxious. I try and think there are people with worse problems than this, sort it out, but she is my Mum and I cannot bear to be the cause of these problems.

Trying to talk to her is so hard. I tried to say something to look forward to might help but all she said was what about you? what do you have look forward to? And she is right, I don't have anything to look forward to.  

I am toying with planning a trip away for us, maybe near Christmas.... 

Buffythedebtslayer

Ok. 

I have booked a hotel for a few days near my best friend to look at houses - as in the area, see what I think about living there eventually, if I still want to do it. I do need something to look forward to and covid and mum being so ill has meant I haven't done anything about pursuing that particular dream for a long time. 

I couldn't find anywhere dog friendly for Mum and I and she wasn't keen I don't think. 

I have made an enquiry about a pet sitter for the buns too. 

Providing all goes well it should give me a plan for 2023 which is fast approaching. 

Willowtree222

That sounds like a huge step in the right direction for your house dream.
a little time away might also be good 

liselle

Terrific idea Buffy! This holiday has proved to be more productive in the long run, and you’ve made inroads into sorting your room.

milann

The trip sounds good 👍

beanielou

So pleased that you are doing something for you  xx

Buffythedebtslayer

thanks everyone XX 

Have spent the day at the hospital with mum, she is ok, another transfusion. It was hard work as it was so hot. 

Need to go back in a week - actually had a really good doctor today unlike last time, this guy was bothered and interested. 

I told Mum about the trip away and she was ok with it, I will plan her food and leave her pills etc out. Hopefully by then the back door will be fixed and I will have put extra locks everywhere. 

Willowtree222

Glad the dr was better. Hopefully these will start to make her feel better x

Buffythedebtslayer

She is very perky. Picking up on everything. It is good but slightly annoying.  

The exam results were ok. 

I am pleased for the students who did well, but I know my head wasn't in the game with everything with mum. I really need to work smarter at school, I also need to plan better. Still you live and learn. I need to do the stinky analysis and see what really is going on. 

3 days now which are mostly free aside from taking mum to a blood test. House is the priority. Tonight I will clean the kitchen after dinner and move out the stuff that shouldn't be there (!) 

Tomorrow I will do the conservatory. Saturday is my room and Sunday is the spare room. Then Monday will be the tip (!)and charity shop if it is open to finish up. I have done a bit of all of them really so please God I will get them sorted. FINALLY. 

I have some things to sell on the book of faces. Hopefully they will go quickly..... 

Tuesday I want to go to the bank and the chemist. Wednesday is hospital again and Thursday I go back to work. 

XX