The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

RosaBernicia

When you say you have two back doors, do you mean you have a utility room or similar in between?  If so is there an option for the dogs to have pads in there for overnight emergencies?  Do they sleep with either of you so they can wake you to ask to go out, or are they downstairs?

A walker would seem a better solution as it would take the pressure off you and ensure they get a routine - and it doesn't seem things are likely to get less complicated, so it would probably be less stress for them to get them sorted in advance of any other changes.  If your mum can no longer be sure to let them out then that is a care issue, and I also don't understand why she would refuse to allow them care from someone else. 

Sun_Addict

Big hugs Buffster I know how challenging caring is 🤗  The person being cared for rarely bothers about how the person caring for them is in my experience. 

Jellytotts

Hugs from me too, it's very challenging if you're not on the same page. Luckily DH listens and accepts when I say things have to be done a certain way for both of our sakes.  I know he feels guilty about the amount of stuff I have to do for him but we have a good relationship and I can call him Mr burden if he's getting himself in a tizz.  Not easy to do with the older generation though.

What do you feel would be best for the dogs, I know a walker would probably stress them out but is a permanent puppy pad area the best idea for now?  

Let's hope the stair lift gives your Mum a bit of a boost. 

Buffythedebtslayer

I think they would be fine with a walker - I used one when Mum went away, she only came once or twice a week when I couldn't get home at lunch or my neighbour couldn't let them out. She gave up dog walking tho and it is expensive here. Mum is reluctant to hand the dogs over to a stranger. She thinks they are fine in the garden and to an extent dog 2 is, but Dog one would go anywhere with anyone if he got a good sniffing situation! 

I do put puppy pads down if I know I am going to be late home, soon I walk them more as it will be light, dog 2 gets freaked in the dark as he is getting cataracts, they are ten now bless them. Before Mum got sick they went out twice a day for a walk, they go out in the garden now - that lights up like a Christmas tree for Dog 2. Mum does mostly remember to let them out. Just occasionally she forgets or falls asleep too long. 

Everything is a work in progress with mum's illness. I think she is slowly realising or sometimes realising, today for example she emptied the fridge of the out of date food. and did the dishwasher - I was wrecked after shopping and went to bed. I have felt sick all day, and she knew that sort of job turns my stomach! It would have been a struggle, taken ages but she still did it. We will figure it out. 
thanks everyone XXX I appreciate your words and time XXX

beanielou

Come here for a break.
You could fly up xxx

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou said:

Come here for a break.
You could fly up xxx

One day Beanie! One day! 

I am hoping mum gets more steroids in the summer, and I can go away, I want to visit all friends! 

Forgot to say I took two bags to the charity shop today. That felt good. 

XX 

Grumpelstiltskin

Buffy you say the dog walkers are expensive.
That could be a reason why you should push your mother to claim Attendance Allowance.

Attendance Allowance: What you'll get - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

If you could explain it would help pay for a Dog Walker which would be an advantage to all of you humans and dogs.

I think you will have to put your foot down, maybe come at resistance from another angle to get her to change.

the_end_of_the_rainbow

Have a look at ‘Borrow My Doggy’ for people that will walk your dog for free.

greenbee

I know you don’t want to upset or worry your mum, but she needs to understand that if you break, there will be no one to help her. You are working full time, and want to enjoy the time you have with her, so help during the week with pets, cleaning, laundry, meals will mean you can manage. Talk to her about the fact that you NEED to be in bed by 10pm if you’re going to manage to keep your job, so she needs to think about how she can adapt to that - changing the locks/handles on the doors so they are easier for her, or installing a dog flap might be the answer. It’s probably hard for her to come to terms with what she can’t do herself anymore, but if she sees it as a way of maintaining her independence she might go for it.

Grumpelstiltskin

Greenbee I totally agree with what you say.

Buffy what would happen if you collapsed?
Laid on the floor unable to use your phone, could your mother ring 999, if she were asleep would she wake up? Who would come in to look after her and the animals?
The way things are going it could happen,