The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou said:

You are worth it though Buffy & you do need a break. xx

I might try for a night away...........just locally. 

Jellytotts

Rheumatoid arthritis is hideous.  It runs in my family and I watched my aunt go from a very active, sociable lovely lady to a virtual recluse when the pain hit. Not being able to do something simple like brush her hair, put a bra on and the steroids bloated her to almost unrecognisable degrees.  Your poor mum.  

Please get away for a break whilst you can, the ride ahead is going to be very bumpy x

Buffythedebtslayer

Jellytotts said:

Rheumatoid arthritis is hideous.  It runs in my family and I watched my aunt go from a very active, sociable lovely lady to a virtual recluse when the pain hit. Not being able to do something simple like brush her hair, put a bra on and the steroids bloated her to almost unrecognisable degrees.  Your poor mum.  

Please get away for a break whilst you can, the ride ahead is going to be very bumpy x

I know this sounds a bit dramatic but it already is bumpy. Mum struggles constantly, she was really good on the steroids but they do damage. And that description of your aunt is very like Mum. She used to do things. Cards, cooking, walking the dogs. Looking after people. She put make up on today but it hurt her to do it. I know she will go to a home eventually even tho she will fight with fibre of her body not to. It is heart breaking beyond words. 

I am going to buy a wheel chair so I can take her to the garden centre at Easter. And maybe take her on a walk somewhere nearby. As in I will walk and push lol. Try and get her to enjoy small things again. 

Scottiedog_3

@Buffythedebtslayer You should be able to borrow a wheelchair at first, to see if it's useful for what you want. The Red Cross used to lend them. Other charities may do that in your locality. You could also look in your local Facebook Marketplace to see if there are any going spare. I did this with my mother but found it very tough going continually loading and unloading the damned chair. It was easier to get a wheelchair at the place we were visiting and leave it behind us without wrestling it into the boot. Our local garden centres and National Trust for Scotland properties have bookable wheelchairs free of charge.  Did you ever look into your mother getting Attendance Allowance? It's Not means tested and you could use it to get help for your mother for an hour or so a day. It's about £360 a month. If you paid  a carer £15 hourly that would buy you a good few hours a month. What else did you ask Social Services to help you with? Did you see if you can get respite care for her  for a few days or a week at a time? 

beanielou

The standard amount of AA is £240.
Well worth applying 

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou said:

The standard amount of AA is £240.
Well worth applying 

Mum got annoyed last time I suggested it. I appreciate I don't have to tell her but it didn't feel right. I will apply. 

Suffolksue

You should be able to have a wheelchair supplied ,need  a physiotherapist and occupational therapist assessment .they work together and the OT can advise and supply lots of aids as necessary 

in_need_of_direction

Unless you are your mum’s appointee, the claim would have to come from her.  Could you sell it that it’d mean someone available to be with the dogs while you work

Scottiedog_3

in_need_of_direction said:

Unless you are your mum’s appointee, the claim would have to come from her.  Could you sell it that it’d mean someone available to be with the dogs while you work

Somebody who is unable to take care of her own teeth is unlikely to be able to fill in the many pages of a form. It is perfectly acceptable to fill in the form on her behalf, explaining why her daughter is doing so. It would be even better to get a welfare rights organisation to do it as they will use all the correct buzz words. Using the dogs as an incentive is a brilliant idea! 

milann

A night away would do you the world of good. 

I’d definitely apply for attendance allowance and ask for an assessment for a wheelchair. I know a relative of mine gets an allowance to use toward a wheelchair. They are measured for them too so they fit the person properly.  My sister in law bought a cheap chair for my mother in law and it was awful…..too big for my mil and very uncomfortable. A chat with your GP and referral to the right professionals could be beneficial.