Three years to get debt free

daisy_1571

If this forgetting arrangements is a regular thing,  do you not send a text or call an hour or two before each drop off to save yourself time?  Or put the onus on him and say you won't drop off without a text from him an hour before expected drop off time?  No text and you just go home and waIt on a text an hour before the next agreed time. If he thinks you should be the adult then he should find it easy to also be the adult.

Willowtree222

I often message saying on way, but as we'd only agreed it Tuesday and was going from club, as well as back pain from driving , I just drove. 

I'm expected to remember all the changes in time yet the expectation is on me is to ensure I remind him all the time. I often do, but there's the odd time I don't for whatever reason. I don't understand why I'm expected to ensure he knows what he's agreed and changed because he's forgotten. 

I'm beyond words for this guy anymore. He's a constant let down, makes promises that he never keeps such as , going to a hotel every month, taking her on holiday, going to London, taking her skiing once a month, and theyre just a handful of things, just says yes and then never does anything. His answer to letting her down one Friday was to say he doesn't agree to any Fridays and then when he's there, it's a bonus. 

I'm just so done with him. DD deserves a dad that won't let her down and actually understands her needs and supports them. 

Sorry, not money saving at all, but I'm so frustrated. 

Sarahwithlove

He sounds like a real piece of work. I mean seriously telling you that you are the adult when he can't even remember plans he's made regarding his own child. Has he never heard of a calendar 

Willowtree222

Last time this happened, he said it was because I'd failed to communicate. 

He'd changed the time as he was picking up his gf and couldn't be as late as normal so arranged an hour earlier, obviously forgot, DD phoned him and he was still at home, so when he arrived 50 minutes late, DD refused to go with him.

She's so particular with time and being on time. I've tried to explain about traffic and she is ok with this, but the forgetting what's been agreed, she refuses to accept. 

He wants me to text him constant reminders about what's been agreed. Sunday wasn't different to the other weeks so didn't think this would be an issue. Last weekend she was with me and the weekend before was the same timings as this weekend so not a new change. 

The level of responsibility he takes is 0. He is the most selfish person I have ever met on my life. Everything revolves around whether it suits him or not. The irony is that he would argue that this isn't the case. I have countless examples of him putting himself before anyone else.

Last Christmas he went away because he "needed time" after the year he had had. No thought about seeing DD. I don't get time. I'm working full time and managing on my own with DD. Where's my time? 

I'm so angry with him. Absolutely no reflection on how he behaves and the impact this has. 

Sun_Addict

How annoying 😡 One say he’ll realise how rubbish he’s been when DD is older and isn’t interested in him anymore. 

Honeysucklelou2

“Co-parenting “ with people who have little or no concept of responsibility is exhausting.  My sympathies…

Willowtree222

Thanks everyone,

I was just upset yesterday. I'd never be without seeing DD at Christmas when she's young. She makes it magical.

I was upset because my back nerve has flared up and I'm in so much pain. Driving is the worst at the minute and I could have done without the extra hours drive. Then DD was upset so having to support her.


All big bills came out, just the little ones now and the savings on fuel etc will also start to kick in too.  X

Willowtree222

I keep looking and think I'm doing well with money, but it's only 3 days after payday! I got paid last Friday with the 15th being the weekend. I'm a long way off saying it has gone ok! 

Willowtree222

A bit of a spendy day today. 
We do.a birthday collection in work for my team and it's my turn to collect and buy. Unfortunately, nobody has paid and it's his birthday on Tuesday so I've had to buy something otherwise I'd have nothing.

Shopping was £57. £12 was wood for the log burner, and £10 was part of his present so actually not that much really on my things. I just needed some lunch items for DD. 

Fuel needed today £54 to fill up again. That's £106 since the 7th September. I predict it will be around £150 a month so the £90 saving is accurate. That's Just gone on DD's dinner and pocket money, but I'm OK with that as it just means I don't have to find other money. Shopping last week for £40.45 so pretty much on budget. I'm meal prepping so feeling more on top of things. 

The next bit savings will be my phone in December. Currently averaging £48. Will go to SIM only for maximum £10. 

Little savings are adding up too. Dd's club has changed from a sat to a Sunday. It usually costs £2.30 to park but nothing on a Sunday. That's currently paying for one week of logs for the burner a month. 

I believe my industry are getting a payrise too. It always comes in December as the change and then a lump sum backdated from September. Hopefully this will cover and cost increases there will be on bills. My mortgage is due up next November. It's a worry. 

tealady

He said "you fail to communicate" Sounds like controlling to me so I would suggest you get advice about how to deal with this.