Do you trust CAFCASS??

Labtec81

Definitely not....

henry24 said:

Most on here seem to think it's a good idea to speak first by phone rather than direct contact due to not seeing the children for 6 months therefore do they also agree the same should happen when soldiers come home or when someone works away for long periods 
If not why not it's just the same 

Good point, soldiers away for months even years get to see their children because you see it all the time when soldiers come home their children meet them at the airport and go running up to them, there's none of that nonsense because they haven't seen them physically for 6 months plus that they can only see them via a video call to slowly reintroduce themselves into their lives. I'm very glad you mentioned that about soldiers 👍

Labtec81

Definitely not....

elsien said:

Soldiers and people working away from home maintain regular contact with children via video, phone calls, letters,  whatever while they are away. OP does not appear to have done that, so it’s not a comparable situation. 

Incorrect, until December last year I saw my children regularly and did maintain regular contact including by video calls, the lack of contact since December isn't because of me it's because of their mother.

Labtec81

Definitely not....

henry24 said:

Maybe the court is wrong and they need to be recommending full contact just the same as the mother. 

That's what I think should happen but I'm realistic that it won't, this is my point, before me and my ex split up because she chose to leave I saw my children EVERY DAY so to go from seeing them every day to much less is a killer,  and those suggesting seeing them once a week whether that be in person or by video call, how can you seriously think that's enough !? 4 times in 28 days is nothing and extremely damaging to both the children involved and the alienated fathers. And seriously all fathers are supposed to have the same rights as the mothers by law since December 2003 if they're on their childrens birth certificate so why is it never enforced....

Labtec81

Definitely not....

sassyblue said:

henry24 said:

Maybe the court is wrong and they need to be recommending full contact just the same as the mother. 

The court's primary concern is the children.  Regardless of who ceased contact and why the court will be looking to begin contact between the children and their father and they may suggest a slow approach at first but will, soon, talk to the children about what *they* want.

btw 'full contact just the same as the mother' is called shared parenting (equal time with both parents).  OP isn’t asking for shared parenting he’s asking for contact visits.

Exactly  therefore I'm being more than reasonable just asking for contact visits not shared custody so I don't see the problem..

Also the next court hearing isn't until July and the cafcass officer spoke to both my children today. 

Labtec81

Definitely not....

elsien said:

henry24 said:

But once again why should it have to build up slowly for the father as I said earlier it wouldn't if he worked away 

And as I also said earlier most parents working away keep in touch while away

I wasn't given a choice because of my bitter ex, and I shouldn't be penalised for her unreasonable actions when it comes to our children. 

sassyblue

Yes

Labtec81 said:

sassyblue said:

henry24 said:

Maybe the court is wrong and they need to be recommending full contact just the same as the mother. 

The court's primary concern is the children.  Regardless of who ceased contact and why the court will be looking to begin contact between the children and their father and they may suggest a slow approach at first but will, soon, talk to the children about what *they* want.

btw 'full contact just the same as the mother' is called shared parenting (equal time with both parents).  OP isn’t asking for shared parenting he’s asking for contact visits.

Exactly  therefore I'm being more than reasonable just asking for contact visits not shared custody so I don't see the problem..

Also the next court hearing isn't until July and the cafcass officer spoke to both my children today. 

Glad the cafcass officer spoke to your children already and July isn’t too far away so that’s good. I really hope you get contact arranged then.

in response to the post above mine, you know you do share equal parental rights with the children’s mother but of course that isn’t the same as equal contact.

[Deleted User]

Yes

Labtec81 said:

_shel said:

Labtec81 said:

MovingForwards said:

Are you mobile yet or still bedridden.
Phone / video calls seem reasonable as a starting point in the circumstances.

Irrelevant, just because someone is bedridden they cannot discriminate and use that as a valid reason for me not to see my children.

 I'm afraid they can. Depending on the age and ability of the kids and if you have a partner there while they are visiting. They can definitely say a person doesn't have the capability to care for the children whilst in their care. 

No they can't, discrimination is illegal and my son is 8 years old and my daughter is 12 and no I don't have a partner here but can get into my wheelchair and mobilise using a walking frame right now and I am am having physio to make my mobility even better.

So you are not bedridden and it's a moot point 🙄

henry24

No

Cafcass speaking to the children isn't necessarily a good thing depending on what the mother has told them to say before the meeting.
In my dealings with cafcass they always appear to be someone young without any experience of life so they see everything though rose tinted spectacles 

T.T.D

No

@labtec81@henry24

soldiers overseas get to video call or
phone, some soldiers find it very difficult to adjust to home life when on leave or discharged. Many are stopped from seeing their children by their ex’s and go through the same processes in stepped reintroduction whilst having to go under the family courts microscope of many a psychological and psychiatrical assessments just to gain supervised access every other Saturday.  

Labtec you will get the opportunity to out your views on this at family court. 

henry24

No

But soldiers aren't automatically stopped from seeing their children because they haven't seen them for 6 months as in this case.
Across the road from me a man has gone away on a 5 month contract should he be allowed to see his children when he gets back home