Do you trust CAFCASS??

T.T.D

No

Hi labtec, your coming across as very frustrated as I pick up in your responses. 

Let’s calm down a little bit. 

Cafcass hasn’t suggested this to spite you or be bias toward anyone, your crushed you can’t pick up where you left off I get it fella I do. 

Stepped introduction in way of video/phone call is what a judge would order in the event of lockdown/full back log of contact centres near you and mum and video call per week is a good first step in working toward relations with your children, you’ve lots of thing to catch up on and this would be first opportunity and quickest to interact. 

you really would be shooting yourself in the foot if you passed up this opportunity if the cafcass adviser recommends it a Family court judge would frown on it too, so remain in honour my friend! 

Even if bed ridden you could have a mutual friend to bring the children to you and supervise if need be, anything for you to see the kids in person. 

Good luck! 

henry24

No

Most on here seem to think it's a good idea to speak first by phone rather than direct contact due to not seeing the children for 6 months therefore do they also agree the same should happen when soldiers come home or when someone works away for long periods 
If not why not it's just the same 

elsien

henry24 said:

Most on here seem to think it's a good idea to speak first by phone rather than direct contact due to not seeing the children for 6 months therefore do they also agree the same should happen when soldiers come home or when someone works away for long periods 
If not why not it's just the same 

Most aren’t saying that at all. They are saying that if that’s what the court suggests as a start, OP would be silly to refuse. 

Soldiers and people working away from home maintain regular contact with children via video, phone calls, letters,  whatever while they are away. OP does not appear to have done that, so it’s not a comparable situation. 

henry24

No

Maybe the court is wrong and they need to be recommending full contact just the same as the mother. 

sassyblue

Yes

henry24 said:

Maybe the court is wrong and they need to be recommending full contact just the same as the mother. 

The court's primary concern is the children.  Regardless of who ceased contact and why the court will be looking to begin contact between the children and their father and they may suggest a slow approach at first but will, soon, talk to the children about what *they* want.

btw 'full contact just the same as the mother' is called shared parenting (equal time with both parents).  OP isn’t asking for shared parenting he’s asking for contact visits.

henry24

No

But once again why should it have to build up slowly for the father as I said earlier it wouldn't if he worked away 

Labtec81

Definitely not....

_shel said:

Labtec81 said:

MovingForwards said:

Are you mobile yet or still bedridden.
Phone / video calls seem reasonable as a starting point in the circumstances.

Irrelevant, just because someone is bedridden they cannot discriminate and use that as a valid reason for me not to see my children.

 I'm afraid they can. Depending on the age and ability of the kids and if you have a partner there while they are visiting. They can definitely say a person doesn't have the capability to care for the children whilst in their care. 

No they can't, discrimination is illegal and my son is 8 years old and my daughter is 12 and no I don't have a partner here but can get into my wheelchair and mobilise using a walking frame right now and I am am having physio to make my mobility even better.

elsien

henry24 said:

But once again why should it have to build up slowly for the father as I said earlier it wouldn't if he worked away 

And as I also said earlier most parents working away keep in touch while away

Labtec81

Definitely not....

BrassicWoman said:

Labtec81 said:

BrassicWoman said:

depends a bit why the six month break and how you've kept in touch during that period, doesn't it?  no contact vs weekly FaceTime / letters and cards feels very different to kids.

The 6 month break wasn't a choice... They weren't given a choice and neither was I and before that I saw them in person. I know what letters and cards feel like to kids, physical contact and actual contact with their dad is far better than letters and cards FACT!

So did you write to them if all other routes were closed?

Yes many times but letters are very impersonal and not what should be happening, myself and my children have the right to see each other physically, for obvious reasons, the most important being I'm their dad.

Labtec81

Definitely not....

T.T.D said:

Hi labtec, your coming across as very frustrated as I pick up in your responses. 

Even if bed ridden you could have a mutual friend to bring the children to you and supervise if need be, anything for you to see the kids in person. 

Good luck! 

After not seeing my children for 6 months of course I'm going to be frustrated,  and absolutely correct and I would be more than happy having a trusted friend pick up my children and supervise if needs be, as you said anything to see my children in person, I'd happily do that.