Do you trust CAFCASS??

Labtec81

Labtec81

Definitely not....

The reason I ask that is I had my first meeting with the cafcass family court advisor the other day who had already met with my ex partner and I never expected him to try and twist what I said to suit his agenda nor did I agree with him saying that because my children haven't seen me for 6 months that perhaps they should just contact me by phone or video calls to start with rather than in the physical sense.... which I completely disagree with....

gizmo111

You may disagree with his opinion but he is entitled to voice a way forward.  You have the right of reply through court proceedings if you do not agree with his recommendations.  His agenda will be the safety and wider welfare of the children.

[Deleted User]

Yes

Labtec81 said:

The reason I ask that is I had my first meeting with the cafcass family court advisor the other day who had already met with my ex partner and I never expected him to try and twist what I said to suit his agenda nor did I agree with him saying that because my children haven't seen me for 6 months that perhaps they should just contact me by phone or video calls to start with rather than in the physical sense.... which I completely disagree with....

 Suddenly spending lots of time with a person after zero contact over several months can be very confusing and upsetting for children. They need stability and reassuring the visitor may stay around. The welfare and emotional health of the children is top priority not what you want. Advisor has to take this into account in their Court recommendation.

BrassicWoman

Yes

depends a bit why the six month break and how you've kept in touch during that period, doesn't it?  no contact vs weekly FaceTime / letters and cards feels very different to kids.

TBagpuss

Cafcass's role is to look at the Children's welfare, rather than your  or your ex's agenda.

It's pretty common to have a phased introduction / reintroduction of contact where children haven't seen the non-resident parents for a while, especially if there was no indirect contact during that time either.

It may well be appropriate in the circumstances

in what way did the Cafcass reporter twist what was said or have an agenda? Part of their job is to tell you what the other parent's concerns or suggestions are, and it's possible that they misunderstood or were seeking to clarify your points, rather than twisting them.

Have you seen their initial safeguarding letter yet? .

Obviously if you feel that the children would benefit from resuming direct contact straight away you can say so, but bearing in mind that the court will be looking at what is right for the children, you may be better advised to agree to some short-term indirect contact with a view to then progressing quickly to direct contact , and if you think going straight to direct contact is best for the children, be willing to set out why you think so. 

Cafcass reporters are people, so of course it is possible for individuals to be prejudices or to make mistakes, but as a whole, they ae normally pretty good, and are usually quite good about correcting mistakes or misunderstandings where these are made. 

sevenhills

I wasn't happy with CAFCAS when they dealt with myself and my ex. They seemed biased towards the mother, but that was 20 years ago. I hope they have changed.

sassyblue

Yes

Labtec81 said:

The reason I ask that is I had my first meeting with the cafcass family court advisor the other day who had already met with my ex partner and I never expected him to try and twist what I said to suit his agenda nor did I agree with him saying that because my children haven't seen me for 6 months that perhaps they should just contact me by phone or video calls to start with rather than in the physical sense.... which I completely disagree with....

Are you sure he didn’t offer you the chance to have phone or video call contact whilst the court proceedings are ongoing, leading up to proper physical contact?

Are you having any phone contact at the moment?

gizmo111

sassyblue said:

Labtec81 said:

The reason I ask that is I had my first meeting with the cafcass family court advisor the other day who had already met with my ex partner and I never expected him to try and twist what I said to suit his agenda nor did I agree with him saying that because my children haven't seen me for 6 months that perhaps they should just contact me by phone or video calls to start with rather than in the physical sense.... which I completely disagree with....

Are you sure he didn’t offer you the chance to have phone or video call contact whilst the court proceedings are ongoing, leading up to proper physical contact?

Are you having any phone contact at the moment?

He can only offer that if the Mother is in agreement with this indirect contact.  He can recommend it to the court as an interim measure until Final Hearing, but only the court can order it.

sassyblue

Yes

gizmo111 said:

sassyblue said:

Labtec81 said:

The reason I ask that is I had my first meeting with the cafcass family court advisor the other day who had already met with my ex partner and I never expected him to try and twist what I said to suit his agenda nor did I agree with him saying that because my children haven't seen me for 6 months that perhaps they should just contact me by phone or video calls to start with rather than in the physical sense.... which I completely disagree with....

Are you sure he didn’t offer you the chance to have phone or video call contact whilst the court proceedings are ongoing, leading up to proper physical contact?

Are you having any phone contact at the moment?

He can only offer that if the Mother is in agreement with this indirect contact.  He can recommend it to the court as an interim measure until Final Hearing, but only the court can order it.

Yes she must have been in agreement because the Caracas officer offered it and the OP refused it…

MovingForwards

Are you mobile yet or still bedridden.
Phone / video calls seem reasonable as a starting point in the circumstances.