We really can't afford the house we want/need will things get better for us or just forget it?

gettingtheresometime

lookstraightahead said:

What's happened to your buyers? 

Why don't you sell your property abroad and if the one you co own fell through why can't you remarket it?

I think from memory the OP doesn't want to / can't because of family history tied to the flat.

mrsmortgage

gettingtheresometime said:

lookstraightahead said:

What's happened to your buyers? 

Why don't you sell your property abroad and if the one you co own fell through why can't you remarket it?

I think from memory the OP doesn't want to / can't because of family history tied to the flat.

Correct.  The other is being remarketed, I'll work on that when my mum comes to visit. 

getmore4less

mrsmortgage said:

gettingtheresometime said:

lookstraightahead said:

What's happened to your buyers? 

Why don't you sell your property abroad and if the one you co own fell through why can't you remarket it?

I think from memory the OP doesn't want to / can't because of family history tied to the flat.

Correct.  The other is being remarketed, I'll work on that when my mum comes to visit. 

Don't forget you don't have any room so she will have to stay in a hotel.

lookstraightahead

Are the buyers still hanging on?

Tokmon

mrsmortgage said:

Tokmon said:

Yes indeed!.

I have not idea why the title is asking if things will get better for when in 8 years time they know they will be able to get a job paying £70k+ and have £500k+ cash.

They also own a property abroad which if sold would give them enough money for the house they want/need.


There aren't any financial issues here it's all to do with family and personal "issues"

You're indeed correct that it is more personal  issues than anything else, but 8 years to me do feel like an eternity (as much as I know there's light at the end of the tunnel).  But ultimately we need this bigger house NOW and that's something that no matter what can't be changed, nor the possibility to afford it. 

To clarify, one flat is solely mine, and the other two are co-owned. (Family business and home, which will be dissolved at some point). 

The only reason that you said you won't sell the flat you own is because it will upset your mother. So your effectively choosing to keep your mother happy instead of choosing to make yourself happy by selling it and buying a bigger house.

Sunsaru

Tokmon said:

mrsmortgage said:

Tokmon said:

Yes indeed!.

I have not idea why the title is asking if things will get better for when in 8 years time they know they will be able to get a job paying £70k+ and have £500k+ cash.

They also own a property abroad which if sold would give them enough money for the house they want/need.


There aren't any financial issues here it's all to do with family and personal "issues"

You're indeed correct that it is more personal  issues than anything else, but 8 years to me do feel like an eternity (as much as I know there's light at the end of the tunnel).  But ultimately we need this bigger house NOW and that's something that no matter what can't be changed, nor the possibility to afford it. 

To clarify, one flat is solely mine, and the other two are co-owned. (Family business and home, which will be dissolved at some point). 

The only reason that you said you won't sell the flat you own is because it will upset your mother. So your effectively choosing to keep your mother happy instead of choosing to make yourself happy by selling it and buying a bigger house.

You may choose to acknowledge this or not but there are some culture's where it is almost beaten into you at an early age that you respect your elders and you never go against your parents.... EVER.

If the OP's mum has said that then it might as well be law. Don't question it any further, it is what it is.

and no, I'm not being sarcastic. I come from a very similar upbringing.

mrsmortgage

Tokmon said:

mrsmortgage said:

Tokmon said:

Yes indeed!.

I have not idea why the title is asking if things will get better for when in 8 years time they know they will be able to get a job paying £70k+ and have £500k+ cash.

They also own a property abroad which if sold would give them enough money for the house they want/need.


There aren't any financial issues here it's all to do with family and personal "issues"

You're indeed correct that it is more personal  issues than anything else, but 8 years to me do feel like an eternity (as much as I know there's light at the end of the tunnel).  But ultimately we need this bigger house NOW and that's something that no matter what can't be changed, nor the possibility to afford it. 

To clarify, one flat is solely mine, and the other two are co-owned. (Family business and home, which will be dissolved at some point). 

The only reason that you said you won't sell the flat you own is because it will upset your mother. So your effectively choosing to keep your mother happy instead of choosing to make yourself happy by selling it and buying a bigger house.

It's not as easy as that. I won't go against my mother (and late uncle wishes). Ultimately (and it can be cultural) I owe the most respect to my mother / uncle etc... Also do I really want to get into a fight and not talking to my mother ever again? no thank you. I don't think any house is worth that.

My mum is staying under my daughter's captain's bed.

Yes the sellers are still hanging on, why wouldn't they? I'm still viewing one house on Thursday, and offering on the other one on Friday. 

Thank you very much @Sunsaru you explained it perfectly well  

Tokmon

Sunsaru said:

Tokmon said:

mrsmortgage said:

Tokmon said:

Yes indeed!.

I have not idea why the title is asking if things will get better for when in 8 years time they know they will be able to get a job paying £70k+ and have £500k+ cash.

They also own a property abroad which if sold would give them enough money for the house they want/need.


There aren't any financial issues here it's all to do with family and personal "issues"

You're indeed correct that it is more personal  issues than anything else, but 8 years to me do feel like an eternity (as much as I know there's light at the end of the tunnel).  But ultimately we need this bigger house NOW and that's something that no matter what can't be changed, nor the possibility to afford it. 

To clarify, one flat is solely mine, and the other two are co-owned. (Family business and home, which will be dissolved at some point). 

The only reason that you said you won't sell the flat you own is because it will upset your mother. So your effectively choosing to keep your mother happy instead of choosing to make yourself happy by selling it and buying a bigger house.

You may choose to acknowledge this or not but there are some culture's where it is almost beaten into you at an early age that you respect your elders and you never go against your parents.... EVER.

If the OP's mum has said that then it might as well be law. Don't question it any further, it is what it is.

and no, I'm not being sarcastic. I come from a very similar upbringing.

Yes i realise that but it's very clear the OP here respects her mother far more than she respects her daughter so I'm giving my opinion on the situation.

Just because the culture is to respect all elders doesn't mean it's right.

mrsmortgage said:

Tokmon said:

mrsmortgage said:

Tokmon said:

Yes indeed!.

I have not idea why the title is asking if things will get better for when in 8 years time they know they will be able to get a job paying £70k+ and have £500k+ cash.

They also own a property abroad which if sold would give them enough money for the house they want/need.


There aren't any financial issues here it's all to do with family and personal "issues"

You're indeed correct that it is more personal  issues than anything else, but 8 years to me do feel like an eternity (as much as I know there's light at the end of the tunnel).  But ultimately we need this bigger house NOW and that's something that no matter what can't be changed, nor the possibility to afford it. 

To clarify, one flat is solely mine, and the other two are co-owned. (Family business and home, which will be dissolved at some point). 

The only reason that you said you won't sell the flat you own is because it will upset your mother. So your effectively choosing to keep your mother happy instead of choosing to make yourself happy by selling it and buying a bigger house.

It's not as easy as that. I won't go against my mother (and late uncle wishes). Ultimately (and it can be cultural) I owe the most respect to my mother / uncle etc... Also do I really want to get into a fight and not talking to my mother ever again? no thank you. I don't think any house is worth that.

My mum is staying under my daughter's captain's bed.

Yes the sellers are still hanging on, why wouldn't they? I'm still viewing one house on Thursday, and offering on the other one on Friday. 

You have explained how you need a bigger and better house for your own happiness and to improve your children's living situation.

If your mother would get into a fight with you and not talk to you again when your doing it for the right reasons then she is the one in the wrong and maybe doesn't deserve as much respect as you give her.
Why does your mother deserve so much respect when you she doesn't respect you enough to want you to be happy and your children to have a suitable home?

If your late uncle cared about your enough to leave you a flat then surely he would want you to use that flat to improve your life and happiness?

mrsmortgage

Tokmon said:

You have explained how you need a bigger and better house for your own happiness and to improve your children's living situation.

If your mother would get into a fight with you and not talk to you again when your doing it for the right reasons then she is the one in the wrong and maybe doesn't deserve as much respect as you give her.
Why does your mother deserve so much respect when you she doesn't respect you enough to want you to be happy and your children to have a suitable home?

If your late uncle cared about your enough to leave you a flat then surely he would want you to use that flat to improve your life and happiness?

My mother hasn't seen this house, so I don't know what she'll think, but even then, I don't think I'd sell it, the rent (to us) is a fairly decent income and I might need that flat one day to buy my sister off the family home. 

I (as an adult) chose to marry a man with other children. I (also as an adult) chose to have another baby. That's why I think that ultimately I (as the adult who made those choices) be responsible for it. If ultimately that means sleeping in the living room, well so it goes. 

I also come from a culture were "children suck it up" , so definitely I wouldn't get any understanding from my mother. but ultimately, I don't hink the flat is worth selling, especially when one day in the not so distant future the family business will be sold. (I mean who know in the end, but at least I wouldn't have a fight with my family over it).

Tokmon

mrsmortgage said:

Tokmon said:

You have explained how you need a bigger and better house for your own happiness and to improve your children's living situation.

If your mother would get into a fight with you and not talk to you again when your doing it for the right reasons then she is the one in the wrong and maybe doesn't deserve as much respect as you give her.
Why does your mother deserve so much respect when you she doesn't respect you enough to want you to be happy and your children to have a suitable home?

If your late uncle cared about your enough to leave you a flat then surely he would want you to use that flat to improve your life and happiness?

My mother hasn't seen this house, so I don't know what she'll think, but even then, I don't think I'd sell it, the rent (to us) is a fairly decent income and I might need that flat one day to buy my sister off the family home. 

I (as an adult) chose to marry a man with other children. I (also as an adult) chose to have another baby. That's why I think that ultimately I (as the adult who made those choices) be responsible for it. If ultimately that means sleeping in the living room, well so it goes. 

I also come from a culture were "children suck it up" , so definitely I wouldn't get any understanding from my mother. but ultimately, I don't hink the flat is worth selling, especially when one day in the not so distant future the family business will be sold. (I mean who know in the end, but at least I wouldn't have a fight with my family over it).

Ultimately then if you don't think the flat is worth selling anyway and you made the choice to marry and have another baby because it must have been the right one for you (or at least right at the time), then just be content and appreciate what you have and not keep thinking what you could do if "x" was different.

There no point in thinking that your just waiting for 8 years to go by and then you can be happy in your life. If you keep looking to the future then you will never be happy in the present. 

45 pages of this thread has shown there isn't much you can do currently so just be happy with what you have and what you can realistically afford now. Don't put too much hope into potential future events being the thing that will finally make you happy because that only leads to disappointment.