We really can't afford the house we want/need will things get better for us or just forget it?

mrsmortgage

purplebutterfly said:

For 7 years at senior school, I left the house at 7.10am and got home at 5.30pm with a bus journey of an hour.  Plenty of us did the same route.  Thinking kids are too precious to spend time on public transport and need ferrying around in a car is ridiculous.  How do they meet up with their friends out of school?  Surely they don't get driven everywhere they want to go?  

Earlier on in this thread people have mentioned that it sounds like you live in a child-run dictatorship.  It is not the fault of the children - they've clearly been brought up to be spoiled and it isn't going to help them get on in life.  I'm afraid they will soon realise that the rest of the world considers them of no import whatsoever and it is going to come as a damn shock.  I feel sorry for them.  

In this case it's not the children themselves but the other parents who are setting up those rules.  Which are bizarre, they won't let us take them to Florida because they want to do it first... But that's a completely different issue! 

purplebutterfly

So your REAL issue is not that you can't afford the house you want but that the parents of the oldest children are placing restrictions on everything.  Until you sort those issues, it's unlikely you'll ever find somewhere that suits everyone. 

tooldle

Ok, i speak as someone who left the house at 7:15everyday to catch a train. On arriving at the destination station i would then walk across town (20-25mins) to the location where the school bus would pick me up for another 20min journey. On many of those mornings i would be waiting for at least 10mins in the rain without shelter, for the school bus. 
I’m really not that old. It does amaze me how little life experience some kids / teenagers are exposed to. 
If you really have to ferry them everywhere, can they not wait patiently and safely in the gap between after school club and whatever time it is that you can sensibly get there? 

mrsmortgage

After talking to my mother, she's of the same conclusion as me (and with some friends who've known me for years). It will definitely give me a lot more fulfilment to go on holidays than having a bigger house.
My mom (and husband) say they've never seen me as happy as since we started living in this town and that I shouldn't take take that for granted.
We're going to wait to see what other two houses that some EA has mentioned to us look like and if it they aren't what we'd look for, then we're taking our house off the market and try to find a way that works for everyone in our current house. 

Anyanka1

So either you want to stay in the town in which you currently reside or you want to move and earn, in your estimation, £75k.  I would love to know what you do that is worth that kind of salary.

Do you really need other people to tell you when you are happy?  Something about this just does not ring true.

mrsmortgage

I've been an Operations /Outsourcing manager for a big .com (with a strong focus on Product Management) , the offer came from one of the biggest .com's out there (these guys offered me the job not once, but twice!)  At the moment I'm a Sr Product Manager .

I don't need people to tell me I'm happy... They were saying it a way that I shouldn't try to make everyone happy at the expense of my own happiness. 

getmore4less

What makes you happy where you are?
Does not seem to be the house.

mrsmortgage

getmore4less said:

What makes you happy where you are?
Does not seem to be the house.

Here? Nothing (location wise). I'm only here because I have to. I'm overall VERY happy, but it's the type of happiness that it's irrelevant of where I'm located. Obviously I can even dislike where I live even more, I used to walk the dog and pretend I lived somewhere else, I haven't done it since I moved to this town, which obviously is a massive improvement. 
But yes the house isn't a massive variable in my overall happiness. 

Anyanka1

Well, I have to agree with that last bit.  Can you make everyone happy in your job or do have to decide on priorities?  I suspect the latter.  

Just my opinion but don't you think it might be time to teach your/whoever's children that, while they are in your house, they do as they are told and are grateful for what they are given?  Yeah, it's 1850 where I live and boy, was adults' quality of life better then?!

Scotbot

Anyanka1 said:

So either you want to stay in the town in which you currently reside or you want to move and earn, in your estimation, £75k.  I would love to know what you do that is worth that kind of salary.

Do you really need other people to tell you when you are happy?  Something about this just does not ring true.

75 k isn't a particularly high salary, yes higher than average but not exactly megabucks. With a few years experience medics, lawyers, accountants  head teachers, hospital department heads, advertising execs  will all be earning at least that. Senior nurses get around 70k.