Weekly Flylady Thread 25th April 2021

Valli

Hello all

wow - some deep thoughts...

If Dancemum's around - thinking of you and hoping you're ok

Won't be any flying from me - just had parents evening online...I'm done for  

Honey_Bear

Wow, Piggers!  That's a lot of house organisation on that list, and it sounds as though most people don't put themselves out to help you very much.  (((Hugs)))  I'd be tempted to tell Offspring that the next time they're in the house you'd be grateful (sic) if they'd sort through their gibble and decide what they want to keep, and donate/trash the rest.  But that's probably not the route you want to go down so I'll keep it zipped from here on in.

Well done on getting through parents evening in a lockdown way, Valli.  I should imagine your brain's pretty fried.  Just as well you had that mega Flying session the other day - are the two events related?

It is taking me Nearly All Wretched Day to organise the stationery to be decluttered from my office but I absolutely know the CS will be able to sell all of it so it's worthwhile, I suppose.  The shower curtains are hemmed, ready to go. 

Tomorrow I need to nip to the Foodbank to collect paperwork, and I need to see if I can use a set of silk curtains we inherited from the house next door, and then do the outstanding ironing, neither of which I'm going to have the time or energy to deal with after the stationery sort.  I repaired the shoe rack that came out of the bottom of my wardrobe, so that's now ready to donate too.  With that, the suitcase of bedding, the carpet back full of shoes the mugs and stationery that's definitely the other half carload I needed to declutter out of the house this week.  It's progress and no matter how great or small, every single step on this marathon is a step in the right direction. 

Empty boxes have been taken back up to the attic so I can see just how much difference the past couple of weeks have made.  It's very encouraging.

YORKSHIRELASS

Pigpen you sound completely overwhelmed.  I have this urge to scoop you up and take you away somewhere and just look after you for a few days.

I loved the Kon-Marie book, although I didnt exactly follow her system to the letter.  Over the years I have become ruthless about not holding on to stuff and my anxiety is so much better if the house is tidy, mind you there is only me and DH here so it really does make a difference.

Work is ridiculous, I gave up at half three and came home.  I cant just keep working extra hours because I will never be able to take time off in lieu.  I think I am only supposed to work 3 hours tomorrow.

I have also been to a meeting of my volunteering work outside in someone's garden.  I am now soooo cold so I am underneath my heated blanket which is on full.

dancemum

Sneaks in at back of FL class. Thanks Valli

It hasn’t been a good week. DS2 has rang me to collect him from college Tuesday and refused to go back to the home. He did allow them eventually to take him back but then went missing yesterday, he was found quickly. He now has a DO L order so they can lock the door.  He is extremely anxious and scared. I feel like the worst mum in the world as it isn’t safe for me to have him back home. Millions of meetings attended. More incidents that I can’t post. Feeling ill with it all. 

Tea cooked
living room vacuumed 
wm x 1 done 
bathroom cleaned
wheelie bin - recycling put out

ionafan

(((Hugs))) and calming vibes to you and DS2, dancemum - I am very sorry that things are so difficult for you all atm xxx

Six layers of cake have been baked, sandwiched together (2x 3 layers) and covered with roll-out icing.  I've washed the new set of alphabet cutters, sorted out the ones I need for the two children's names, and found a new set of candles and enough florist's ribbon in pink and blue.  Tomorrow morning I must make bears and birthday cards!

pigpen

HB .. I have told them.. and they do the whole yeah yeah.. but right I need to go to work/catch a train/just do this first (live another 5 years...) it just never gets done. OH will help do bits but as an example.. he picked something up the other da and asked me what he should do with it.. I asked what it was.. he said a used envelope.. I said is there anything in it.. no... so what do we do with used envelopes with nothing in them??? ... it should not be this hard!!

YL.. KM is a bit on the crazy side, if she was my daughter or sister I would be concerned.. I couldn't live like that, I need a bit of mess for it to be a comfortable 'nest' ... a clinical home would just be too stressful and unhomely.. I don't want to live in a show home, I want to have foors to walk on and sides to put vases of flowers or books or anything other than gym bags and multipacks of crisps!!

Joy.. OH just went upstairs and apparently tomorrow I will have another migraine. Third police report and council report going in regarding the drugs next door.. and of course copying in the landlord and letting agents.. So sick of it.

Dancemum.. you are doing your absolute best, you have tried so hard with DS, you have given the last many years over to his wellbeing and his care.. you could not have done more.. you have a right to be safe, you know he is as safe as he can be. I truly hope he can find a place of peace and calm and that you can too. You have done so much for everyone over the years, please give yourself the same love as you do everyone around you. ((((biggest hugs))))

Valli

The mega flying came from having lost a bit of weight and suddenly feeling lighter, more energetic and more positive.  Only 6lb.  Well that's my theory.
Sorry to hear all is not good, Dancemum, totally agree with Piggers.
Showertime.

dancemum

Thanks no news overnight but I did pop in the WAW club lounge. You have made it lovely.
I feel I should be seeing DS2 everyday but I don’t have the strength or energy. I have only been 3 times since he went. Partly prevented by COVID restrictions.

The traffic lights have been removed from outside my house so hopefully soon we can have our parking back.

Wm is on

I hope to plant some seeds and tackle me under sink cupboard 
I need to chase up Mum’s estate solicitor if I have the courage

DH is only working until noon

I wish I had sent a message to LW. I do think about her and other absent fly ladies 

kazwookie

Hugs all round , this weekend ladies you must make time for yourselves, some of you have so much going on in your lives, you need a break from it.

Last night I empties the 2 water butts, watering the flowers / veg etc, today it is raining slightly, the first time in ages, so fingers crossed they will fill up a little.

Last night the deer were grazing, when the little muntjac gave chase to the 3 roe deer, most odd, so I have a feeling it was protecting its baby / kit.  So over the next few days I'll be keeping a look out from a safe distance.

3 of my seeding spuds have made an appearance

General daily stuff done

Round 8 more items for eby, plus sold 2 more from 'offer' 

pigpen

dancemum said:

Thanks no news overnight but I did pop in the WAW club lounge. You have made it lovely.
I feel I should be seeing DS2 everyday but I don’t have the strength or energy. I have only been 3 times since he went. Partly prevented by COVID restrictions.

The traffic lights have been removed from outside my house so hopefully soon we can have our parking back.

Wm is on

I hope to plant some seeds and tackle me under sink cupboard 
I need to chase up Mum’s estate solicitor if I have the courage

DH is only working until noon

I wish I had sent a message to LW. I do think about her and other absent fly ladies 

Send LW a message now.. I will hold off posting. I knew my migraine was waiting for someone, it must have been you!

I have 5 more ebeast items to package so won't be going to post until this evening or tomorrow morning.

Could you look at other ways to communicate with DS so you feel better about visiting less often?? Would he facetime/zoom where he can be supervised his end if needed and you can connect without the emotional baggage being in the way? You could give him a time so he has something to look forward to and you can save some energy.

Would he write postcards or draw pictures? I know he has complex issues so it might be a bit much. What we have found is playing online games together has opened communication..  it has given us something in common to talk about. Especially if gaming is one of his things. I have children over 4 households and they all play Among Us together. If he will read anything maybe talk about a book or would he let you read to him? I know it all sounds babyish and he might hate all of those things. Speak to his care workers see if they have any idea about it.. it is really hard and so easy to fall out of touch.

One thing we have done over the last year is share our 'under £5' Amazon wishlist and randomly sent each other a little gift anonymously.. a few sweets or a piece of jewellry or a notebook.. he might like that. We build the list ourselves and share the link. It's really good fun.

No one blames you for protecting yourself, you have to do what you have to do and your feelings and safety matter too. It isn't all about DS, you are important.Your mental health needs care too. I hope you are getting support there, you have so much going on the last few years I'm impressed you are still standing! Please reach out for help, and remember we are always here for you

And YAY for traffic lights being gone!!!