Weekly Flylady Thread 25th April 2021

Valli

You're right there Honey Bear ... two things make me so angry - that here, in a supposedly first world country, there are Foodbanks and they are needed and that people everywhere do not yet have access to clean water.  I've been a regular donor to waterAid for years and now donate to the Foodbank.

pigpen

Valli said:

You're right there Honey Bear ... two things make me so angry - that here, in a supposedly first world country, there are Foodbanks and they are needed and that people everywhere do not yet have access to clean water.  I've been a regular donor to waterAid for years and now donate to the Foodbank.

Absolutely, it is a disgrace..  and worst of all that we know as long as foodbanks are being provided and filling a need the government will do absolutely nothing to address the root cause which is poverty and low incomes and high cost of living all of which is set to get worse as food prices rise without EU subsidies for our farmers and loss of EU contracts and increased import times and costs. I grew up in poverty, I had a brief period of being ok and now we are right back in poverty again and I despise it, there is no escape. I was angry we were poor when I was a child and I am more angry we have not progressed as a society and have in many ways gone backwards. *dusts soapbox and puts it back under the table*

The childrens school raised hundreds of £'s for Wateraid a few years ago, they have one charity each year they raise funds for but I can not remember what it is this year, my head hurts.. lol.

I've taken loads of meds and I still have a headache and my face feels numb but a bit fizzy and itchy.. but the actual pain is less but my right eye can't see. I still feel a bit nauseous so eating is out of the question and I am starved.

Washing brought in by OH just before the rain started but it is sunny again now.

I am incapable of anything else right now

School appeal forms arrived but I can not read them because I can't see the words so they will wait. they have 31 additional children in year 7 currently.. so my 1 next year will fit in easily!

ionafan

Afternoon all.  What happened to the morning?  And where did yesterday go?

I can report that it has taken me hours and hours to sort out a few bits of paper, move some money around, update computer spreadsheets and shred just a few little bits.  It is a once-a-year job that I hate because I have to make decisions (and the older I get, the less I like making decisions - my brain is definitely slowing down :sad:) and yet I love it because it leaves me knowing that I have everything set up for another 11 months, IYSWIM.

I have just been out for 10 minutes to deliver my 2 weeks' worth of  BP readings to the surgery, and resisted the temptation to go shopping while I was in the "village".

The Lidl shoe boxes sound like some that my DH was throwing out of his man cave last year.  Without the lids, I use them for storing F&V in the fridge and things in the cupboard under the built-in oven.  Basically they act like drawers - you can pull them out and see what's at the back.  But I'm still wondering what I could use the lids for...???

This afternoon I need to bake and have fun with moulding icing   We need to eat lunch first: the meal plan says lemon chicken soup, so that's what it will be.

Hope your horrid migraine goes soon, pigpen x
You have achieved a lot today, Fayolle - rage cleaning, I suspect, but it all counts!  I hope the phonecall is helpful to you all xxx
Kaz, I'm jealous - I'd love to go beachcombing x

And guess what - I've just had another phonecall from my bank's fraud team.  Now I've got to ring a customer service person and explain what I've been up to....

Goodintentions

Good afternoon!
Thanks HB that was really useful. I tried the Marie Kondo way with my clothes a few years ago. It did work for me - I got rid of loads, and then lost weight and had nothing to wear! 🤦‍♀️ I got stuck on paperwork - there is no way it could be reduced to the amount she says!! 😱 The problem with her method is definitely the pulling everything out at once! That is fine if you (a) have the space and (b) have a decent amount of time to go through it (I don't have either) I can't sort my toys like that because the dog would pinch them! I will look into your suggestion 😊 The trouble with picking the most obvious/annoying thing is that it DHs stuff that annoys me most!! 😂 Fayolle I feel your pain! 
On the subject of dogs..... I made the mistake of putting my hand near grumpy dog's lump to see if it was hot (when it is infected it gets hot) while I was out with him this morning. I knocked the scab off and he started bleeding! 🤦‍♀️ I had to leave him in the kitchen while I went out with the kiddies this morning.

Back home now. The children are playing nicely and I managed a hot cuppa while the baby slept 😁 I should finish in about 45 minutes....It can't come soon enough because I think I have pulled something in my neck/shoulder whilst baby wrangling with pushchairs & car seats! 

pigpen

Gi, it is toys annoy me most.. and I can not bin them I need thm to go somewhere because most are like new.. but most are also part of a set and I can't send them 'somewhere' unless I have the full set.. I spend HOURS sorting them and turn my back and the girls trash it all again.. shovelling snow in a blizzard comes to mind.

Honey_Bear

*Healing vibes* for your migraine Piggers.

Ionafan, I keep plastic box lids (in the attic, with the other plastic boxes not currently being used) for as long as the boxes are in the house.  They don't seem to have an alternative use, and that's what the attic is for - storing stuff that you know you might need at some point.  I've re-used all my plastic storage boxes dozens of times, and the kitchen ones, thousands of times.

The rest of this post is about 'stuff' so skip it if decluttering isn't part of your agenda at the moment.

Belovéd is not on board at all.  His office is his own space and it's crammed full of stuff but that's not my concern, and neither is the fact that his office has spread on to the landing with a bookcase, a lot of pictures and a filing cabinet - it's all contained at the top of the house.  I rarely try to clean in there because frankly I can't be arsed with all the crap all over the place.  Areas of it are inches deep in dust.  It's his space, he's responsible for it and I can live with that.  He has three full bays in the attic which are nothing to do with me, and he has put masses of stuff up there over the years but nothing of his ever comes down. I can't stop him keeping cardboard boxes and random bits of wood no matter how much I regard all of that as utterly, utterly useless.  I don't tweak his wardrobe (5' of hanging space as opposed to my 3') or his shelves of clothes in the bottom, or his chest of drawers (crammed full),  although I do have the occasional snigger when he says he hasn't got anything suitable to wear.  He's got shoes everywhere in the house, tucked behind curtains, a shoe rack just inside the front door, two pairs continuously near there, and piled up at the bottom of his wardrobe.  He finds most of them uncomfortable but he can't bring himself to let them go.  (Yet, as far as I'm concerned but softly, softly catchee monkey.)

Shared space is a different matter.  We both like it clear of clutter and that is helpful, but he finds it really, really hard to let anything at all go and there has to be a lot of negotiation when I'm on a mission, as now.  The fact that he's 74 and we don't have kids means we're tackling our wills again and that has resulted in him being realistic about what's important because it'll all be trashed when we're gone.  He's come to realise now is the time to decide what's important but it's taken me years to get him to this point.  The fact that he sees me carting stuff out every week now has also resulted in him realising life's a lot better when there's space in cupboards and drawers, and I think he's getting to the point where he might be willing to ask for help to sort out what he can let go. 

However, if I tell him I am decluttering something very specific, like mugs, I set out the perameters and it's his choice which ones we keep.  I genuinely would just get rid of whatever I didn't like if he didn't go along with it, because I cannot stand this amount of stuff any more. I spend my life managing it, and frankly I've got more important things I want to do with my time.  So - the shelf can hold nine.  That's all.  We have a very small kitchen area and he knows that.  There's stuff on every surface because we're so short of space and consequently it's hard to work and to put stuff away.  We'd got a lot of mugs, and also some in the attic.  I told him there was no point in keeping any in the attic, that I would rather they were donated so that someone else could use them and that nine was all we had space for.  There was a bit of, 'But we've always got two in use so that's eleven really' nonsense so I re-iterated, 'We have space for nine, so nine is all we can store and we never use all of them at the same time anyway.'  I got them all together, picked the two I actually wanted and made him choose the ones he actually wanted.  After that we chose the rest turn by turn.  I now have two pretty mugs in the bathroom for my toothmugs, and four are going to be donated.  He's happy with what we've kept and I finally found out which ones he really likes, and which ones he doesn't care about.  The Chelsea mug (he's a huge fan, season ticket holder etc) which is too small to be of any use, but he couldn't bear to part with even though it was a total waste of space, is now a penholder in his office.  There are nine in the kitchen.  If any of them break we could get another one if we needed to replace it - from a charity shop!

Clothes that don't fit are a waste of storage space because we can't wear them.  When someone's gone to the trouble to lose weight, let's be honest, do we really want to wear clothes that we had when we were last skinny people?  Things have moved on, we're a bit older, fashions change and it's time to get something that fits the new you. 

Toys - I don't know.  Mine were regularly culled when I was a child and the only thing that really mattered was one doll, and a book on flowers.  I deeply resented my plastic teaset which was 'put into storage' when we moved abroad when I was about six, not because I didn't have them but because I never got them back when we returned to the UK so I worked out what had happened to my stuff when I was very young.  I can still remember the texture of some of them, too.  For the next move I had to choose three toys and the rest disappeared.  As long as I had the doll (Susie when I was very young but at some point she went missing, Floppy when  bit older, and I still have her) I was okay, mainly because the cat survived all the moves and culls.  Much as I enjoyed having toys most of them weren't important to me and that was just as well!

Our stuff matters to all of us, but we're now living in a society where everyone has been led to believe buying stuff and having stuff solves problems.  I've found it rarely does, so I'm letting a lot of it go and because I now find it a burden.

Goodintentions

Thanks again HB you are inspiring me 😊
My issue with toys are that they are in essence my business! I have some toys that were my children's that are still being used regularly now (mine are 29, 25 & 22). I need a variety to cover all ages, stages & interests. However, I have decided not to have school age children, so some can go, along with some books probably. Also, I don't buy the latest characters that the children are into - they can have them at home! We have a lot of d!sney characters, because I like them! I am trying to get more loose parts, natural toys & open ended resources. They look beautiful, and I would like to have them on display - but that is where the dog is a pita! I am not letting him get his teeth into expensive wooden toys! 
Pigpen I agree about missing parts! I will hang onto something because I know the bit I am looking for will turn up one day! 🤦‍♀️ 
On that note, I think I am going to fill a bag with toys from the summerhouse! It all helps 😁 
WM x1 done, DW done. I should empty that before his lordship gets in....and put some chicken on for my dinner. The boys are having tacos which I don't fancy.

pigpen

HB , my 'stuff' is not really mine.. it is everyone elses.. my understair cupboard is ALL DD2's.. she lives in Wales, does she even need this stuff which has been in my cupboard for nearly a year? My middle room is DS1's stuff and the pushchairs which I am heading towards selling/donating I just can not get to them right now. I have had the paint to decorate that room for 3 years. Boogs room.. not my problem. DS2's room, he wants it decorating but it is full of childhood stuff.. a 15 year old beanbag.. WTH does a 25 year old want with a smelly old beanbag? So long as he doesn't sort it I can not decorate it and he has bunny rabbit pictures on the walls and glittery sequin curtains.. Moomins room is beautiful.. and any mess is hers to deal with. The girls room... oh my, is a total pit.. toys, clothes, more toys, There is a box of photographs I have wanted on the wall on the landing since we moved in in 2006.. they are STILL in the box.
The landing has the girls chests of drawers on it so they don't  have them in their room and have room to play *laughs hystreically* the christmas present stash and 4 boxes of 'between sizes' of clothing for the girls to grow into.. 4 girls, 4 boxes.. my (unused!) sewing machine. the back landing is absolutely rammed with storage boxes of trash from the older ones.. DD2, DD3 mainly.. some underlay for DS2's room IF I ever get his room decorated. My room, is a shed, it doesn't store tools but stores bedding and clothes and the multiple boxes of ebeast stuff.. most is listed so I am on with it but I can not put my clothes away because I cannot access the cupboards.  The loft is full of OH's ancient comics, christmas decs and a squillion boxes of toys and gibble which have been up there for 15 years.. we don't NEED any of it.

It makes me mad that we have all this space and it is just full of rubbish and it spoils how we live, it dictates whether we can have guests over or friends.. I just loathe it all but I am so overwhelmed I do not know where to start.. I need someone to come and say right we are going look in this box today.. i want them to filter out the actual rubbish and just leave me with stuff I might want to keep.. I'm not one of those who can not let things go, I just can't put good things in the bin. But are they good things if no one really wants them?

OH doesn't help, and is clueless and is just quite happy to keep everything forever so long as he can eat food and sit to play on his computer.. I need staff.. or another few me's.

I want the second freezer in the kitchen to go to the shed where it used to be. I want the pictures on the wall. I want the mirrors on the wall.. I've had them 13 years, I rather wish I had let CF have them when he asked and I said no because he was being a cf and I was reacting by being difficult... I should see if I can sell them. I want the alcove on the landing repainting and shelving .. full width so I can put the towels on them with folding doors... I may just measure it up and get the wood and make demands.. it is a massive space. I want the back and front doors replacing, I have replacements, I have had 1 3 years and the other 1 year.. OH is a joiner.. *says nothing*. I NEED new kitchen taps.. the cold water doesn't turn off fully, it hasn't turned off for maybe 2.5 years.. I want a boiling water tap because it will make my life easier, not just for cuppa of tea but for soaking pots and cooking and it is filtered water so I might be able to drink it, our tap water is nasty.. Only 1 of those costs money (the tap) nothing else there costs money..

I don't have the attention span or the mental or physical energy to get it done alone.


This is probably the most flyingish thread in a long time.

*sigh* I hate myself..

I asked OH to just fling beans and toast at the children and the bigger ones can deal with themselves because my head hurts and feel rather queasy.. so.. its Dot has scrambled egg isn't it? Who likes fried eggs? Who wants beans and who has hoops?? do we have hotdogs, I can do those too?

I'll just do it myself.. it requires less mental energy than explaining who eats what.... I will do pack ups while I am standing.. My head hates me as much as I do I think.

mumof3.12kindebt

Mental health assessment appointment done. 

Skip run x2 done 
Cardboard to teaco recycling done 
Recycling boxes done 
Dwx1 
Wmx1 
Td x1 

Lounge Hoovered 
Lounge tidied 

Clean laundry taken upstairs. 

Roof fixed - hopefully 🙏

Kitchen decluttered , tidied and s/s 



Tomorrow morning i need to do a skip run or two again. And then that should be all the skip runs for now... 


Going to ask ds1 too Hoover the dining room ... 

DP helped today with some jobs and I feel like we have made some good headway 

Dw refilled 

pigpen

OH managed beans/spaghetti with toast and even a few fried eggs.. I have sent 3 emails to the council, ate soup.. it was gross.. and drank tea. I cannot bend down or move from sitting to standing and I have put the heating on nuke because I am freezing now everyone is whining they are hot... tough, it is my house and I'm cold! I was so cold on the school run I was vibrating. I hve 2 jumpers and a big winter coat on.

I got a note through from the speech therapist Dot is seeing... apparently.. 'She was fidgetty and distracted and needed many verbal prompts to get the task done.' and.. 'She speaks so fast it makes understanding her difficult and she refuses to repeat what she has said' ... no !!!!!! Sherlock!!!! I do wonder if the school have even bothered to tell her why she is seeing Dot inthe first place and that it is a part of her ADHD assessment/referral. Given it was the SENCO who the SLT has spoken to and a teaching assistant from a different class who is not a very nice person and 'doesn't believe in autism' I very much doubt this has been communicated. I am thinking the new Head may be about to be acquainted with my joyous self and brought up to speed with the ineptitude of the SEN staff. Why is it always me who has to do this?! lol.