Money Moral Dilemma: Was I wrong to pay my mate back in fish and chips?

llamakitten

MalMonroe said:

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My mate recently lent me £5. Last week he came over for dinner in the garden, and I'd bought us both fish and chips. He asked if I had the £5 I owed him, and I said that was what I'd spent on his meal. He got upset about me "charging him for food", and said he'd do the same when I next visit him. But we usually cook for each other and don't make each other pay. Was it wrong to pay him back in fish and chips?

Yes. He lent you a fiver and you didn't return the fiver. You didn't even ask him if it was okay to buy him fish and chips instead. No wonder he was miffed. 

And this is yet another example of why we shouldn't lend or borrow with friends. Or anyone, if you can help it. Not even such small sums. Trouble ensues. 

Give him his fiver and let's never speak of this again.

Yeah. This is how I would see it as well. For all you know, he might have needed that fiver to feed himself for the rest of the week or to put on his electricity or something like that. lIt's his money, he should have the right to decide in what format he receives it back.

fifty-something

You invited him for a meal for which he had to pay?!
Very glad you are no friend of mine.

Sallyp2

!!!!!! it’s £5. Pay it back if you borrowed it and don’t be a first class bell end!

NevereverDave

Daft to risk resetting your relationship in an act of thoughtlessness. 

Back when I earned £30 per month as an apprentice, a pal borrowed £5 off me. I never forgot that he never paid it back - all forgotten and I haven't seen him in decades. It's meaningless today but the echo remains.

Simple rule, borrow a note give back a note and make it memorable with a firm handshake and thanks as it meant something to you both.

JayD

No. You should have asked him first if he would prefer that to you giving him cash. He didn't dictate to you what the £5 he lent you should be spent on - and you shouldn't dictate what his £5 repayment is spent on either!

Aleann

You said it yourself, ‘we don’t normally charge each other for food’. Don’t make choices for people and always recognise a debt. Pay him the fiver.

Clarity2

As you say, you usually cook for each other and don't make each other pay. So it was wrong to pay him back by giving him something he would usually get for free. 

richardw

Try Nectar points next time.

Buspass

Definitely wrong. If you borrow cash, give back cash. A small gift or token of appreciation can be added. To hold on to this friendship do both immediately - together with an apology! 

Margaretw55

I think that's incredibly cheeky.