Divorce and share of wealth.

Mojisola

burlingtonfl6 said:

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/can-a-stay-at-home-mum-be-a-feminist-or-is-that-a-fairytale_uk_5b158207e4b030f6cdad12aa
There's a UK based article asking the same question.

And the important word is 'asking'.

"According to the Fawcett Society, “Feminism is a commitment to equal rights, opportunities and choices for people of all genders.” "

While fathers don't take an equal share of responsibility for their children's care, women will have to keep doing the bulk of it, even at the expense of their careers.

For most fathers or mothers, the choice isn't there for them and they are forced to conform to the stereotypes but I find it encouraging among the younger generations in my family that, in the couples who want to, fathers are finding ways of being more hands-on and the mothers are getting more opportunities to keep a life outside the home.

burlingtonfl6

Mojisola said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/can-a-stay-at-home-mum-be-a-feminist-or-is-that-a-fairytale_uk_5b158207e4b030f6cdad12aa
There's a UK based article asking the same question.

And the important word is 'asking'.

"According to the Fawcett Society, “Feminism is a commitment to equal rights, opportunities and choices for people of all genders.” "

While fathers don't take an equal share of responsibility for their children's care, women will have to keep doing the bulk of it, even at the expense of their careers.

For most fathers or mothers, the choice isn't there for them and they are forced to conform to the stereotypes but I find it encouraging among the younger generations in my family that, in the couples who want to, fathers are finding ways of being more hands-on and the mothers are getting more opportunities to keep a life outside the home.

For both sexes, they mistake the word ''career'' when they really mean ''job''
https://www.south.edu/blog/the-difference-between-a-job-and-a-career/#:~:text=A job is more short,better paycheck and living status.

Pollycat

burlingtonfl6 said:

For both sexes, they mistake the word ''career'' when they really mean ''job''
https://www.south.edu/blog/the-difference-between-a-job-and-a-career/#:~:text=A job is more short,better paycheck and living status.

Lordy! Lordy!

We must really be in the USA...

Pollycat

burlingtonfl6 said:

Sorry, I didn't know feminists in the states were so different in their views ( just so you're aware, I'm being sarcastic. Their views aren't different you just had to find fault somewhere)
https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/can-a-stay-at-home-mum-be-a-feminist-or-is-that-a-fairytale_uk_5b158207e4b030f6cdad12aa
There's a UK based article asking the same question.

I'm sceptical of anyone trying to prove a point with non-national links that may or may not prove their point.

(Including the OP's link to a New Jersey legal website relating to gifts from parents).

As for the HP article:

I want to be proud to be a SAHM and a feminist, but does this sound less credible coming from me rather than a financially independent member of the social elite or a working mum?

No.

It doesn't sound less credible.

At least, not to me.

sassyblue

74jax said:

I come from an Estate Agent background, and then New Build/Construction.  So I know any deposit has be accounted for.  

Even if it's a quick chat that was had with the solicitor at the time 'I see there's a gift here for the deposit, what is the reason for this'. And if the passing reply was 'It's for my Son to help with the purchase but to also safegurd his future if it all goes t@ts up', that will have been recorded in file notes.  
Honestly, if they haven't already, it is really worth getting the solicitor to hunt out the file from when the house was purchased.
Honestly, if they haven't already, it is really worth getting the solicitor to hunt out the file from when the house was purchased.  I'd even ask the mortgage company for their records too.  
I have a pre-nup, we knew at the time it wasn't legally binding but the hubby was keen so we had it done.  

What’s in the notes is only paramount in the sense that if the Solicitor recorded the £100k as a gift to the son only, and did not then make sure a Declaration of Trust was entered into, then there could be a claim for professional negligence against them for not completing that Declaration of Trust.

as for prenups, they may not be legally binding but they should be taken into consideration if one was drawn up.

TBagpuss

justworriedabit said:

Btw, are pre-nups leagally binding now in England and have they been put to the test in your experience. Thanks again

No, they are not legally binding.
However, when a court looks at financial issues, the overriding aim is that they need to try to come up with a settlement which is fair to both souses, taking into account all the relevant cisumsntaces. The existence of a pre-nup is a relevant circumstance. 

How much weight is given to it will depend - generally speaking, the longer the marriage is, and the more that has changed since the pre-up was drawn up, the less weight will be given to it.
However,  the starting point is generally to look at the pre-nup and (assuming that it meets certain criteria, such as both parties having had fincial disclosure and independent legal advice before signing it) start from the presumption it should be followed, and then asses that in light of any arguments from either party as to why they should n be held to the agreement, what has changed, and what any alternative settlement should be,. 
Obviously significant changes, such as the birth of children, can be highly relevant, as can the passage of time - a pre-nup is likely to have more weight if you divorce after 5 years than if you divorce after 10 or 15, for instance. 

justworriedabit

TBagpuss said:

justworriedabit said:

Btw, are pre-nups leagally binding now in England and have they been put to the test in your experience. Thanks again

No, they are not legally binding.
However, when a court looks at financial issues, the overriding aim is that they need to try to come up with a settlement which is fair to both souses, taking into account all the relevant cisumsntaces. The existence of a pre-nup is a relevant circumstance. 

How much weight is given to it will depend - generally speaking, the longer the marriage is, and the more that has changed since the pre-up was drawn up, the less weight will be given to it.
However,  the starting point is generally to look at the pre-nup and (assuming that it meets certain criteria, such as both parties having had fincial disclosure and independent legal advice before signing it) start from the presumption it should be followed, and then asses that in light of any arguments from either party as to why they should n be held to the agreement, what has changed, and what any alternative settlement should be,. 
Obviously significant changes, such as the birth of children, can be highly relevant, as can the passage of time - a pre-nup is likely to have more weight if you divorce after 5 years than if you divorce after 10 or 15, for instance. 

Thank you for the detailed response.

justworriedabit

Just been reading this and it appears it is worth getting one.
https://www.equifax.co.uk/resources/money-management/prenups-and-divorce.html