She doesn't wish to get a loan for her marriage

ZaSa1418

burlingtonfl6 said:

ZaSa1418 said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

ZaSa1418 said:

I am extremely glad that I am not part of the tinder generation and I dread to think what it will be like when my young daughters are at a dating age however, normal is opinion. What is normal for one person isn't for another. 

Would it be normal and healthy for your daughters?

Well their normal would be up to them and not for me to decide. If they were taking all the precautions to not damage their health and choosing this then yes it is normal and healthy for them. 
Teenage girls and boys in the 90's and early 2000's were the same.

Completely wrong. You need to see what impact social media, phones and dating apps have had!
Anyway, there's no point arguing my point who would be happy if their daughter slept with dozens of men by the time she was 20. 
And sleeping around damages mental health so taking precautions that you suggest won't stop that.

I have 2 older daughters too so have seen the impact of social media, phones and dating apps, that doesn't mean there weren't teenagers like it in the 90's and 2000's (or any other time)  it is just more in the public eye and everyone can now see it. Some of the things people got up to when i was at senior school is no more 'shocking' than the stuff happening now.  
In your opinion sleeping around damages mental health.

Sea_Shell

burlingtonfl6 said:

grumiofoundation said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Pollycat said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

With regards to the dating apps it has had a huge impact. Young women are giving themselves away on there and men (myself included) have easy access to something that only 10 years ago you had to go out and make an effort to get.
I know men who have met in person and she's made them wait for sex, yet they know men that she has slept with on dating apps at the drop of a hat......and they think ''why do I have to make the effort when he didn't''
If you increase the supply of sex (and thats what dating apps have done) it decreases the value of the act.

These's apps are a curse on society and aren't there to create relationships.....why would a dating app trying to make money want the pool of potential customers to shrink?

YUK!

I'm so glad I'm from a different era.

I agree. 
Only a decade ago you had to ask someone out in person, get to know them, go on dates etc
Now you swipe and as annabannana82 states above, the apps are fueling a hook up culture and damaging the potential to form meaningful relationships.
I personally know a girl, 19, stunning with a great family and everything going for her who is very active on the dating apps. Her and her friends all think it is normal to have slept with dozens of men!
I know it's not PC to say in this day and age but someone needs to educate these youngsters that the amount of people you share yourself with will have an impact on you ability to form a healthy relationship in the future. 

Since you get to define whats 'normal' and not anyone else what is 'normal'? 

Age of woman vs number of people they are 'allowed' to sleep with to remain within the bounds of normality/ remain able to form a healthy relationship?

Also is the number the same for men ?

It's not normal and I'm sick of this modern way of making everyone think it is by people like you.
I apply the same rules to men.
The girl in question has actually slept with 35 men, at 19. If you think that is normal and healthy then there's no point in arguing with you really.

The way this thread has gone has reminded me of that old line in "Four Weddings and a Funeral"...

"Less than Madonna, more than Princess Diana"

littlegreenparrot

burlingtonfl6 said:

grumiofoundation said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Pollycat said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

With regards to the dating apps it has had a huge impact. Young women are giving themselves away on there and men (myself included) have easy access to something that only 10 years ago you had to go out and make an effort to get.
I know men who have met in person and she's made them wait for sex, yet they know men that she has slept with on dating apps at the drop of a hat......and they think ''why do I have to make the effort when he didn't''
If you increase the supply of sex (and thats what dating apps have done) it decreases the value of the act.

These's apps are a curse on society and aren't there to create relationships.....why would a dating app trying to make money want the pool of potential customers to shrink?

YUK!

I'm so glad I'm from a different era.

I agree. 
Only a decade ago you had to ask someone out in person, get to know them, go on dates etc
Now you swipe and as annabannana82 states above, the apps are fueling a hook up culture and damaging the potential to form meaningful relationships.
I personally know a girl, 19, stunning with a great family and everything going for her who is very active on the dating apps. Her and her friends all think it is normal to have slept with dozens of men!
I know it's not PC to say in this day and age but someone needs to educate these youngsters that the amount of people you share yourself with will have an impact on you ability to form a healthy relationship in the future. 

Since you get to define whats 'normal' and not anyone else what is 'normal'? 

Age of woman vs number of people they are 'allowed' to sleep with to remain within the bounds of normality/ remain able to form a healthy relationship?

Also is the number the same for men ?

It's not normal and I'm sick of this modern way of making everyone think it is by people like you.
I apply the same rules to men.
The girl in question has actually slept with 35 men, at 19. If you think that is normal and healthy then there's no point in arguing with you really.

Good grief, I feel like I have wandered into a time warp. 
One night stands are not a new phenomenon by any means. These days people might feel more comfortable talking about it but it has always gone on. 

There are a number of issues with this, why do you know the ins and outs of this young woman's sex life?
How do you know it is true? It is not unknown for people to exaggerate their sex lives because they think it makes them look cool. 
Even if it is true, how is it anyone else's business? Or indeed why should she be bothered about the view anyone else has?

Regardless of dating apps and social media people are still able to make up their own mind about who they sleep with, in the same way that they could 20 years ago when I was going out on the town and getting plastered with my pals - if someone wanted to play musical beds it was perfectly easy to do so. 

CookieMonster

littlegreenparrot said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

grumiofoundation said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Pollycat said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

With regards to the dating apps it has had a huge impact. Young women are giving themselves away on there and men (myself included) have easy access to something that only 10 years ago you had to go out and make an effort to get.
I know men who have met in person and she's made them wait for sex, yet they know men that she has slept with on dating apps at the drop of a hat......and they think ''why do I have to make the effort when he didn't''
If you increase the supply of sex (and thats what dating apps have done) it decreases the value of the act.

These's apps are a curse on society and aren't there to create relationships.....why would a dating app trying to make money want the pool of potential customers to shrink?

YUK!

I'm so glad I'm from a different era.

I agree. 
Only a decade ago you had to ask someone out in person, get to know them, go on dates etc
Now you swipe and as annabannana82 states above, the apps are fueling a hook up culture and damaging the potential to form meaningful relationships.
I personally know a girl, 19, stunning with a great family and everything going for her who is very active on the dating apps. Her and her friends all think it is normal to have slept with dozens of men!
I know it's not PC to say in this day and age but someone needs to educate these youngsters that the amount of people you share yourself with will have an impact on you ability to form a healthy relationship in the future. 

Since you get to define whats 'normal' and not anyone else what is 'normal'? 

Age of woman vs number of people they are 'allowed' to sleep with to remain within the bounds of normality/ remain able to form a healthy relationship?

Also is the number the same for men ?

It's not normal and I'm sick of this modern way of making everyone think it is by people like you.
I apply the same rules to men.
The girl in question has actually slept with 35 men, at 19. If you think that is normal and healthy then there's no point in arguing with you really.

Or indeed why should she be bothered about the view anyone else has?

Since you asked: this will have a profound effect on her desirability as a marriage partner.
If she hopes to be married one day (settling down and having kids at 32-35yo seems to be the general idea these days) this will reduce her chances. 

burlingtonfl6

CookieMonster said:

littlegreenparrot said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

grumiofoundation said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Pollycat said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

With regards to the dating apps it has had a huge impact. Young women are giving themselves away on there and men (myself included) have easy access to something that only 10 years ago you had to go out and make an effort to get.
I know men who have met in person and she's made them wait for sex, yet they know men that she has slept with on dating apps at the drop of a hat......and they think ''why do I have to make the effort when he didn't''
If you increase the supply of sex (and thats what dating apps have done) it decreases the value of the act.

These's apps are a curse on society and aren't there to create relationships.....why would a dating app trying to make money want the pool of potential customers to shrink?

YUK!

I'm so glad I'm from a different era.

I agree. 
Only a decade ago you had to ask someone out in person, get to know them, go on dates etc
Now you swipe and as annabannana82 states above, the apps are fueling a hook up culture and damaging the potential to form meaningful relationships.
I personally know a girl, 19, stunning with a great family and everything going for her who is very active on the dating apps. Her and her friends all think it is normal to have slept with dozens of men!
I know it's not PC to say in this day and age but someone needs to educate these youngsters that the amount of people you share yourself with will have an impact on you ability to form a healthy relationship in the future. 

Since you get to define whats 'normal' and not anyone else what is 'normal'? 

Age of woman vs number of people they are 'allowed' to sleep with to remain within the bounds of normality/ remain able to form a healthy relationship?

Also is the number the same for men ?

It's not normal and I'm sick of this modern way of making everyone think it is by people like you.
I apply the same rules to men.
The girl in question has actually slept with 35 men, at 19. If you think that is normal and healthy then there's no point in arguing with you really.

Or indeed why should she be bothered about the view anyone else has?

Since you asked: this will have a profound effect on her desirability as a marriage partner.
If she hopes to be married one day (settling down and having kids at 32-35yo seems to be the general idea these days) this will reduce her chances. 

Exactly. 
Your actions have a direct impact on your future options. When she finally is ready to settle down she will realise no high value man wants a woman who has been promiscuous. 
Vice versa on the genders by the way.
Men want a woman with a good past, women want a man with a good future.

Pollycat

Lots of people are posting/have posted on social media stuff about themselves that may adversely impact their future lives, especially job prospects. Even if it's just a photo taken by someone else in a moment of madness.

IIRC, there was someone on Dragons' Den who presented an idea to 'clean up' after people like the above.

Mrs_Ryan

burlingtonfl6 said:

ZaSa1418 said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

ZaSa1418 said:

I am extremely glad that I am not part of the tinder generation and I dread to think what it will be like when my young daughters are at a dating age however, normal is opinion. What is normal for one person isn't for another. 

Would it be normal and healthy for your daughters?

Well their normal would be up to them and not for me to decide. If they were taking all the precautions to not damage their health and choosing this then yes it is normal and healthy for them. 
Teenage girls and boys in the 90's and early 2000's were the same.

Completely wrong. You need to see what impact social media, phones and dating apps have had!
Anyway, there's no point arguing my point who would be happy if their daughter slept with dozens of men by the time she was 20. 
And sleeping around damages mental health so taking precautions that you suggest won't stop that.

There was still online dating back then. I met my ex fiance through online dating in 1998 when I was 18 and he was 17 (we’re still friends, we’ve been friends now for 23 years, although we were only a couple for a relatively short time) If you think that it wasn’t around then you’re very wrong!  I knew of plenty of girls who went clubbing every weekend and picked up lads every weekend and slept with them every weekend so quite easily clocked up a similar amount. Sleeping with multiple partners is not a phenomenon of the dating app generation.   

I have a younger friend who is the Tinder generation and I personally think some of the stuff she shows me is hilarious, because I might be 40 and married but I was young once as well and I’m still young enough to understand how the social media, dating apps etc work. 

Granted- the way it’s done has changed but the general idea hasn’t changed one bit. I would concur with what ZaSa has said- from someone who was a teenager at that time so speaks from knowledge and experience! 

CookieMonster

Mrs_Ryan said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

ZaSa1418 said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

ZaSa1418 said:

I am extremely glad that I am not part of the tinder generation and I dread to think what it will be like when my young daughters are at a dating age however, normal is opinion. What is normal for one person isn't for another. 

Would it be normal and healthy for your daughters?

Well their normal would be up to them and not for me to decide. If they were taking all the precautions to not damage their health and choosing this then yes it is normal and healthy for them. 
Teenage girls and boys in the 90's and early 2000's were the same.

Completely wrong. You need to see what impact social media, phones and dating apps have had!
Anyway, there's no point arguing my point who would be happy if their daughter slept with dozens of men by the time she was 20. 
And sleeping around damages mental health so taking precautions that you suggest won't stop that.

... I knew of plenty of girls who went clubbing every weekend and picked up lads every weekend and slept with them every weekend so quite easily clocked up a similar amount. Sleeping with multiple partners is not a phenomenon of the dating app generation.   

....

Granted- the way it’s done has changed but the general idea hasn’t changed one bit. I would concur with what ZaSa has said- from someone who was a teenager at that time so speaks from knowledge and experience! 

In the Eighties, my local community was small enough that the curtain twitchers - and therefore everyone - knew who the promiscuous women (and men were).
Those girls were not 'wifed-up'. They're still single, usually with a couple of kids from different fathers.

Now promiscuity is being pushed as both normal, and okay;
men are being told that it should be acceptable for a woman to have a higher body-count than Falluajah. 

These women are one Facebook or Google search away from never being seen as 'partner-material', due to their own social media data.

burlingtonfl6

Pollycat said:

Lots of people are posting/have posted on social media stuff about themselves that may adversely impact their future lives, especially job prospects. Even if it's just a photo taken by someone else in a moment of madness.

IIRC, there was someone on Dragons' Den who presented an idea to 'clean up' after people like the above.

Onlyfans is the latest ''trend'' 
People are selling pictures of themselves to raise money but don't understand that there is a cost of publishing those types of images to anyone willing to pay. You have the ''you go girl'' brigade telling them it's perfectly normal.

Why can't people accept that their actions have a direct impact on their future options.
Single parents don't have the same choices on the dating ''market'' that people without do, just as those who have spent the best part of their 20's sleeping around don't get the same options as someone similar to them who hasn't.

Pollycat

burlingtonfl6 said:

Pollycat said:

Lots of people are posting/have posted on social media stuff about themselves that may adversely impact their future lives, especially job prospects. Even if it's just a photo taken by someone else in a moment of madness.

IIRC, there was someone on Dragons' Den who presented an idea to 'clean up' after people like the above.

Onlyfans is the latest ''trend'' 
People are selling pictures of themselves to raise money but don't understand that there is a cost of publishing those types of images to anyone willing to pay. You have the ''you go girl'' brigade telling them it's perfectly normal.

Why can't people accept that their actions have a direct impact on their future options.
Single parents don't have the same choices on the dating ''market'' that people without do, just as those who have spent the best part of their 20's sleeping around don't get the same options as someone similar to them who hasn't.

Because they don't think. At all.

I know someone whose marriage was torn apart because her friend posted - on Facebook, of course - a photo of her cuddling up to a bloke on a girls night out.

I didn't see the photo (I don't do Facebook or similar social media) but advised her to insist her friend remove it immediately. She said there was nothing in it but it was too late.

That was almost 10 years ago and changed her life and the life of her children.

I've not heard of onlyfans.