Declutter Mind and Declutter home

BarbCh

Some fabulous insights from you ladies....
It's amazing how this thread flits from one thing to another as we all respond to each others posts and lend support.... highlight different aspects of our lives and find that we all have so many similarities. 

Every now and again  like to bring the thread back to what the origin of this forum  is all about MONEY SAVING EXERT! 
and this section of Old Fashioned Money Saving....... yet our discussions rarely mention money! 
But it does feature in a very subtle way....flying under the radar of the discussion!

So I'd like to bullet point a few things to ponder on:
CLUTTER - we keep things so that we can use them at a later date.... hence money saving by not having to spend money buying again! 
The problems occur when that clutter is not organised or/and we have too much of it for the space available to us! Otherwise we would not define it as clutter! 
MIND CLUTTER - The same principle ... we store thoughts, emotions, habits, rituals, memories, principles etc etc.

And often if the mind is overflowing with clutter, then it can affect our environment physical clutter.... and visa versa.... hence an unhealthy cycle unfolds.

So I  believe this thread has developed into a way of us all being able to unload that mind clutter and by doing so, not only feel a relief by sharing, but also gain perspective, support and confirmation that we are on the right track

helensbiggestfan

Thanks for  the hugs Barb.  Your thread is definitely keeping me on track.  😁.  

I'm finding that as I offload both the physical and mental clutter it is making space for the good stuff.  A tidier house definitely but also by saying my final goodbye to the past, the future is rushing forward to meet me and it's starting to look a lot rosier.  

Keep up the good work and the words of wisdom.

  Hope you are "on the mend" and feeling a bit better today.  ❤️

helensbiggestfan

"When you are lying in a ditch, look up at the stars". 

BarbCh

@helensbiggestfan thanks. I'm getting better but a long way to go yet.
I'm glad that the thread is keeping you on track and you are now seeing a brighter future.

Siebrie

I really need to declutter my home, as it is likely to be just mine in the future. I have started a thread elsewhere on this forum, called 'Divorce, slowly', because my husband is cheating on me. I am taking my time to get the paperwork in order, collecting proof of purchase of several items in the home and pieces of land in his homecountry. I also need his income to apply for an extended mortgage for renovations to our home. I can afford the higher mortgage on my own, but would never qualify, so we need to qualify and be finished with the financial paperwork before I can initiate divorce proceedings. I also need to make any necessary spends now, rather than wait until after the divorce, so my dds have both started online typing lessons, I need to submit our health related bills to his insurance to make sure the money is reimbursed to both of us, our pensions schemes are filled for this year, the benificiaries on all his pensions are our dds, etc.

So, the need to declutter my mind and declutter my home go hand in hand. It's a good exercise to get back to listing all income and expenses; I kept track religiously when I was in my old job, it's just when I was let go, and at home for 8 months, and then never restarted when I started this job 18 months ago, that my husband apparently realised he had leeway He now has 3 credit cards I don't have access to, and has blocked his phone and almost all apps with face ID.

Apologies for the hijacking of this thread, it's just that I need to keep my head very straight at the moment to make sure dds and me have the best possible outcome.

BarbCh

@siebrie.  WOW I absolutely empathise with you and am also going through a divorce, so I  will look at your thread! 
I'm pleased that you posted here because many people can take something from your experience.... and also check out your thread. 

YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING! 

My situation is that after 25yrs marriage.... my husband decided that he 'wanted to find himself he gave the impression that he would be back. I though he might be depressed and tried to reach out yo him, but he would never respond! After 2 years I  decided to let go.... but that has turned into r years because  was I was resisting divorce due to worries about finance and the house etc. So I  allowed him to 'push for it' so the divorce papers are in ....
I needed that time to get my head around it all... and now wonder if I've wasted 4 years of my life.
All of these issues impact on our lives in various ways....so thanks for sharing your story and please continue to contribute as I'm sure you have valid words of advise and wisdom.... 💚

Siebrie

My husband is from a culture where it is normal to have a second (third, fourth) wife as a sign of wealth, however, his marriage certificate in Belgium says that he is only allowed 1, and I refuse to be a numbered wife

BarbCh

OMG siebrie..... I just read your thread and replied... but it is so complicated, the sooner that you get out the better! 
I am not surprised that your mind is cluttered. I'm sorry but can't help wondering why the multi wife issue didn't flag up as no go situation from the start.....
I am no way qualified to comment but do empathise with you and hope that you get things sorted soon.
I can't  help thinking that you might need to cut your losses to save your sanity!  Take care x

helensbiggestfan

Sorry to hear this Siebre.   Sending you virtual hugs.  

I did read your thread, as you so rightly say it's is a very complex situation.   Hope you can wrap it up quickly for your health's sake and for your daughters safety.  It might mean taking a financial hit of course because he might use them as leverage.  

Get your ducks in a row as soon as you can and then go full steam ahead.  The sooner it's done, the sooner you can get your life back on track.  

helensbiggestfan

BarbCh said:

@siebrie.  WOW I absolutely empathise with you and am also going through a divorce, so I  will look at your thread! 
I'm pleased that you posted here because many people can take something from your experience.... and also check out your thread. 

YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING! 

My situation is that after 25yrs marriage.... my husband decided that he 'wanted to find himself he gave the impression that he would be back. I though he might be depressed and tried to reach out yo him, but he would never respond! After 2 years I  decided to let go.... but that has turned into r years because  was I was resisting divorce due to worries about finance and the house etc. So I  allowed him to 'push for it' so the divorce papers are in ....
I needed that time to get my head around it all... and now wonder if I've wasted 4 years of my life.
All of these issues impact on our lives in various ways....so thanks for sharing your story and please continue to contribute as I'm sure you have valid words of advise and wisdom.... 💚

Wishing you well too, and hope things get resolved as quickly and  as painlessly as possible.  

I can understand why you might think you have  wasted 4 years but as in all things timing is everything. You are doing it now and that's what counts, no point dwelling in the past and torturing yourself for not taking action sooner.  That was yesterday, it's today and tomorrow which matter now.  Chalk it up to experience and see it as a valuable lesson to take into your future.  

Just  plough on  and look forward to coming out the other side, out of the tunnel and into the sunlight.🌞