Declutter Mind and Declutter home

KxMx

Sorry to hear your news!

It might be a good thing to be unavailable for others, they will realise they are capable of sorting themselves out and appreciate what you do for them all the more, hopefully. 

BarbCh

Thanks KxMx You are absolutely right...
I'mfeeling better today,  so waiting for physios to come and get me walking.

Illnesses, Accidents etc have a way of not only slowing you down but also to put life into perspective. Things can happen to us all in the space of a second..... and everything changes! .
While I'm in hospital my son has decided to do the garden for me and get it all looking nice, so that I can sit out in it and get some fresh air when I return home.
It was the decluttering job that I was not looking forward to! If I  had asked him to do it for me.....he would have complained! But now my vulnerability has shown him that I can't do everything....

helensbiggestfan

Hi Barb.  Just wondering how you are getting on.  Hope all is well.  Good that your son is helping out with the garden, so you have somewhere nice to sit in and enjoy the suns healing rays.  Take care and get well soon.  

I've not done much fresh decluttering this last week or so, just  coasting for now.  

candygirl

Another one here, wondering how you are BARB .Do keep us posted if, n when you can xx

BarbCh

@helensbiggestfan.. I've just been discharged from hospital, feeling much better but not out of the woods yet! 
This last week has been very illuminating,  not only about myself but about my co-patients! 
I have realised that I have pushed myself beyond my boundaries and not prioritised myself.
I'm a 'young' 64 and think I  can do more than my age dictates! 
After an MRI scan has revealed extensive disc damage in 2 areas of my spine, due to wear and tear,  I  will have to see a spinal specialist. 

It is possible for anyone at any age to damage their spine and rupture a disc and potentially be paralysed.... my discs are bulging and close to touching the spinal cord, hence tingling and pins and needles in my feet etc.

These are symptoms that I  didn't appreciate the significance of.... and I  know many others would be just like me!  I pushed myself past symptoms, thinking they would go away with rest.....I  only went to an out of hours doctor for stronger pain killers.... and that set off the process that led to my diagnosis.

I've had a week chatting to other women of varying ages.... and the common factor was that we had all put other people's needs before our own..... and then something has to give!! 
We end up in hospital and the people that we put before ourselves, had to step up!!

So this last week I've had a good long look at my life..... pretty much decluttered all of the outdated ingrained thoughts and behaviours that I  have lived my life by...... many of which have been inherited from my mother and grandmother! 
So today is my 1st day home.....my first day of putting myself first! 

Frogletina

Glad to hear you are home Barb. Now is the time to take it easy and accept any help that is offered.

I'm at the hospital this afternoon for an appointment with my consultant. I have ocular myasthenia gravis. At my last eye appointment in December I was told I needed to see the neurologist urgently as the condition had deteriorated. It's taken till now to get the appointment, and my eyes have improved. He'll probably think I'm a fraud! But I do have concerns so that I'm glad to have the opportunity to discuss them.

I don't have much to declutter at the moment, but i still have the decluttered items to remove from the house. It will get done, bit by bit.

BarbCh

Hi @Frogletina good luck at your consultation,  I've never heard of your condition but hope that you get all the help that you need.

I've been a bit drowsy this morning but I  keep looking at things I could do..... and resisting the urge!!

I was quite irritated to come home and find that my son hasn't cleaned the bath after him!! In the past I have just done it.... but now I've realised that I can't be bending to do such jobs and he is going to have to do it!! 
In the past it has always been easier to do something myself, rather than have to point out that he should clean it after use!  🛀

Siebrie

We bought an old house 10 years ago, and renovated it enough to be able to live in it. It now has need of more extensive renovations and we have hired an architect to make sure it's all done properly. This already brings a lot of relief.

The house we live in was connected (probably as stables) to an old farmhouse until circa 1960, when the farmhouse was torn down and a proper semidetached house was built in its stead, leaving a driveway between our houses. The farmhouse wall that was attached to our house was left standing to support our house. This wall is about 20cm thick and still belongs to our neighbours. Now that the neighbour is old and in a carehome, his 3 sons are emptying the house and getting it ready for sale. We have offered to buy the wall off of them, and renovate it. The eldest son is happy to sell a strip of land 125 cm wide alongside our house to us, but youngest son refuses to sell, keeps claiming 'it's our wall' and 'it's a difficult situation'. Middle son follows youngest son, unfortunately.

The Surveyor was here today, and he agrees with us; he sees no reason for them not to sell the wall to us, other than sheer nastiness....

Anyway, we have tried, and now have our answer. We hope the house gets sold to new owners (youngest son has indicated he is interested in buying it, too) and will start negotiations with them. For the time being, we are slightly frustrated, but fine.

helensbiggestfan

Hi Barb. Glad to hear that you are home.  Definitely time to rest, recuperate and get strong and healthy again.   

You are right about some of us "doing too much" and pushing ourselves beyond our physical capabilities.  I have done this all my life but I only became aware of this recently, by comparing myself to other women and on watching the way my DILs refuse to do anything like heavy gardening, decorating or diy.  Don't get me wrong, they do their bit but they are far more sensible than I was at their age.  They know when to buy in help, rather than over commit themselves and take on too much.  I wish I had had their sense when I was their age.  My mum tried to warn me, but of course I knew best. 😂🤣

I have thought about this a lot, and I commend my DILs for being so sensible and taking better care of themselves.  I wish I had.  Trouble is once people think of you as "Capable Kate" then they don't offer help.  They just don't think.  They just think of you as Wonder Woman.  So, if like me, you are naturally proud and independent,  it is very difficult to ask for assistance, even when you need it.  

I completely wrecked my health  by being my husbands carer. When He became fully quadriplegic I finally had to concede defeat and have him admitted to  a nursing home.The staff there were astonished that I had managed his care alone for so long.  They asked me how long I had been doing it for and when I told them 3 and a half years years, they practically had a fit. They told me that most people in my position manage about 3 months before giving up.  

But I'm paying the price now.  It has taken me years to recuperate and even now, 9 years later, I m still not fully recovered.  I don't think I ever will be, just too much damage. I did it out of love, not duty, but I'm not sure I made the right choice.  I wouldn't do it again and I wouldn't advise anyone else in a similar position to take on such a task.  I think it would have been better to have him admitted earlier, both for me and for him.  That level of care is beyond one person. 

 Hey ho, we live and learn.  

Which is part of the reason I want to declutter and downsize - keeping things simple so that I can concentrate on aging well and getting  as strong and healthy as I can.  

Take good care of yourself Barb.  We only get one body. Cherish and nurture it.  

BarbCh

@helensbiggestfan. I absolutely resonate with what you are saying!