Declutter Mind and Declutter home

helensbiggestfan

So much sadness in the world at times, so many sad stories.   Often these sad experiences take a toll on our health but we do bounce back .......eventually.  

I divorced my first husband, way back in 1976. It was all very amicable (no children) but even so there is no such thing as a pain free divorce.  I remember my biggest feeling at the time was one of being a failure. I look back now and realise that was nonsense, I was no such thing.  Our decision to split was completely rational, but society sees divorce as 'failure". The expression used is always "failed marriage" "failed relationships". I don't see it that way now.  There is a time and a season for everything.  

I did go on to marry again, never thought I would.  But 6 years after my marriage broke up I met the wonderful man who became my second husband.  We had 34 glorious years together until his untimely death.  There is life and happiness after divorce.  😁.  

Something to make you smile.......

last week I asked the universe to send me a nice new man.  Yesterday I had a phone call from a would be suitor, someone I met a couple of years ago.  He's nice but not for me but he keeps on trying.

 I'm in no rush.....I'm "Holding Out for A Hero". 😂.   He's out there somewhere.......I know the universe is listening, I can wait.  

BarbCh

Thanks @helensbiggestfan I  think you are right about timing, and the timing is now right. I was once told that the fear of loss is far greater than the promise of gain.... and that has been so right as to how our default mindsets can be!
I have been frightened about having to sell my house and the fear of change, also thinking at my age.... what could the future hold! 
Too many things to think about all at once! 

But I  think that I am in a better place mentally now... my husband leaving without expecting it threw me into a nervous breakdown.

This is why I absolutely believe that the clutter in our minds affect our daily lives. 

helensbiggestfan

Yes!!!!  The fear of loss is indeed stronger than the promise of gain.  Our brains are hardwired to protect us, so they will resist change.

We may know  in our hearts and the depths of our souls that change needs to happen but the brain will put up a fight to keep the status quo, because its job is to keep us safe.  And change can be scary.  

 Sometimes the struggle is so great the brain simply shuts down.  And in order to protect us it keeps up an internal monologue, subjecting us to ceaseless negative chatter about why we need to fear change, to feel lack, why we need to remain as we are, safe in our little prisons.

  We have to change the monologue, change the chatter.  

I think this is where borrowing from "your future self" helps.  So visualising where you want to be in say 5 years time, then setting your goals and taking small steps towards your target.  Clearing out the mental as well as the physical clutter is that vital first step isn't it.  Until we do it we can't see a way forward, because the path ahead is hidden in the overgrowth of our fears and negative thoughts.  So we have to have a good clear out, so we can see our way out,  

In hunting terms  "we have to let the dog see the rabbit" 😂 

This is what I have been doing during this last lockdown, not just clearing out junk from my house but using the time to dejunk my brain, putting the past where it belongs - in the past, where it can stay. It has been very draining and quite painful but I glad to say I am ready now to embrace the future.  Just a few more months  till we crack covid,  

I have made up my mind to move house either in 2022 or 2023 at the latest so no more major renovations because I won't recoup the expenditure.  I  will  just make do with a few inexpensive cosmetic tweaks to make it market ready.  Instead I will concentrate my energies on generating a bit more income.  

candygirl

Love the idea of borrowing from my future self LL, as this lockdown has put me into a proper lull .
I'm going to write down my future hopes n dreams , asap x

BarbCh

helensbiggestfan said:

Yes!!!!  The fear of loss is indeed stronger than the promise of gain.  Our brains are hardwired to protect us, so they will resist change.

We may know  in our hearts and the depths of our souls that change needs to happen but the brain will put up a fight to keep the status quo, because its job is to keep us safe.  And change can be scary.  

 Sometimes the struggle is so great the brain simply shuts down.  And in order to protect us it keeps up an internal monologue, subjecting us to ceaseless negative chatter about why we need to fear change, to feel lack, why we need to remain as we are, safe in our little prisons.

  We have to change the monologue, change the chatter.  

I think this is where borrowing from "your future self" helps.  So visualising where you want to be in say 5 years time, then setting your goals and taking small steps towards your target.  Clearing out the mental as well as the physical clutter is that vital first step isn't it.  Until we do it we can't see a way forward, because the path ahead is hidden in the overgrowth of our fears and negative thoughts.  So we have to have a good clear out, so we can see our way out,  

In hunting terms  "we have to let the dog see the rabbit" 😂 

This is what I have been doing during this last lockdown, not just clearing out junk from my house but using the time to dejunk my brain, putting the past where it belongs - in the past, where it can stay. It has been very draining and quite painful but I glad to say I am ready now to embrace the future.  Just a few more months  till we crack covid,  

I have made up my mind to move house either in 2022 or 2023 at the latest so no more major renovations because I won't recoup the expenditure.  I  will  just make do with a few inexpensive cosmetic tweaks to make it market ready.  Instead I will concentrate my energies on generating a bit more income.  

What a fabulous post... you say it so eloquently! 
I absolutely agree no more can be added... 

BarbCh

candygirl said:

Love the idea of borrowing from my future self LL, as this lockdown has put me into a proper lull .
I'm going to write down my future hopes n dreams , asap x

Get yourself a nice pen and paper or book! 
Sit yourself down and dream! 

candygirl

BarbCh said:

candygirl said:

Love the idea of borrowing from my future self LL, as this lockdown has put me into a proper lull .
I'm going to write down my future hopes n dreams , asap x

Get yourself a nice pen and paper or book! 
Sit yourself down and dream! 

Will put it in my journal hun xx

BarbCh

I love this thread and the people who contribute.... it has become so inspiring on so many levels.... and I've noticed that we are all a source of guidance and support. 
No one has all the answers.... but by sharing and caring we can see the way forward.

candygirl

I love that BARB ❤X

mehefin

If I can add my 4pworth borrowing from my future self so reminds me of Muhammad Ali's "future history", and look how he did!.
Mehefin